05/05/2025
What Happens to the Children When a Mother Struggles with Her Mental Health?
I’ve asked myself this question my whole life — not from curiosity, but from experience.
My mother lived with major depression for as long as I can remember. Some days, she could barely get out of bed. Other days, it felt like she was emotionally miles away, even when she was right in front of me. As a child, I didn’t understand what was happening — I just knew that the air often felt heavy, unpredictable, and sad.
Growing up in that environment shaped me in ways I didn’t fully grasp until I was older. I carried anxiety, fear of abandonment, and a sense that I had to be emotionally “on” all the time. These patterns followed me into adulthood — into relationships, into how I coped with stress, and eventually, into motherhood.
In 2020, when I was diagnosed with prenatal anxiety, everything came into sharp focus. I was scared, but also incredibly motivated — I knew I needed help. Not just for me, but because I didn’t want my children to carry the same emotional weight I’ve been unpacking for most of my life.
So I asked for help. I started therapy. I learned how to name my feelings, how to sit with them, and how to break some of the cycles I had inherited. It’s not perfect, and healing is still ongoing, but I’m proud of that choice. I’m proud that I did what my mother couldn’t — not because she didn’t love me, but because she didn’t have the support or the tools.
The truth is, when a mother struggles with her mental health, it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It affects the entire family — especially the children. They may experience anxiety, emotional dysregulation, difficulty forming healthy attachments, or even developmental delays. But with support, those patterns can change.
We can break the cycle.
If you or someone you love is walking this path, please know: you are not alone. Getting help is not weakness — it’s a courageous investment in your own well-being and your child’s future.