Psychotherapy and Growth Clinic

12/03/2024

10/31/2024

Children intuitively understand boundaries with their body. They don’t yet have the deep conditioning around people pleasing. They can clearly say “no.” And they don’t mask their discomfort.

Many parents feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when a child does this. But this is one of the clearest signs their child still has bodily autonomy. This is a sign they’re still in tune with their body alarm. It’s something to allow and encourage so they develop more and more discernment with age.

When we tell children “oh just give him a hug” or when we see them crying or getting uncomfortable with someone’s interaction what we are teaching them is: perform.

What we are teaching is: your discomfort doesn’t really matter. Please the person in front of you. Ignore the sensations in your body.

Let this generation stop the “good girl” “good boy” performance.

Let this generation say “no” and allow adults to feel whatever it is they feel about it.

Let this generation know boundaries so they don’t have to re-learn them as adults.

Let this generation have the courage to seem “rude”— which ultimately keeps them safe