11/15/2024
A Note on Having a Child Who has Survived Cancer. Thanks for indulging this Mama's thoughts for a minute.
Watching your kid grow up is an interesting and challenging experience no matter what. When they've survived a life-threatening, prolonged illness, it adds a layer of difficulty.
When your child survives cancer, it’s easy for people to assume that life just snaps back to normal. The treatments are done, they’re healthy again, and on the outside, everything looks back to normal. But what many don’t see is the quieter, ongoing journey—the invisible challenges that don’t disappear just because the cancer is gone.
For kids who’ve survived years of chemo, hospital stays, and endless doctor visits, survival comes with a cost. It’s not just the physical toll—it’s the years of school they missed, the sports and activities they had to sit out, the friendships and moments they couldn’t fully be a part of. Those years don’t just come back overnight.
And now, in this post-cancer chapter, these kids walk into new schools or communities where people don’t know their story. Teachers and peers see the kid who needs a little extra help or has to miss school for follow-up appointments. But what they might not see is the kid who fought through more than anyone their age should ever have to and came out on the other side stronger and more resilient than most adults.
Sometimes, unless they're great at advocating for themselves, these kiddos can fade into invisibility. They can join the sea of everyday normal faces walking the hallways. And then on the difficult days, if they face challenges, they can be seen as a liability instead of what they really are: an opportunity. An opportunity to invest in someone whose courage, bravery, determination, and perseverance could inspire the people around them.
For cancer survivors, life after treatment often looks like:
- Lost Time: Those years of chemotherapy and other treatment come at a price—missed classes, gaps in development, and physical setbacks from the intense toll of chemo and illness. They’re catching up in ways you can’t always see.
- Ongoing Health Needs: Even after the cancer is gone, the appointments, scans, and follow-ups keep coming. These aren’t optional, but they can feel like a disruption to a system that isn't always organized to fit kids with different needs, especially at school.
- Social and Emotional Recovery: These kiddos have been through the kind of trauma that’s hard to explain, especially to people who don’t know their story. That resilience doesn’t always show up in obvious ways—sometimes, it just looks like a quiet determination to keep moving forward-- and sometimes there's some anxiety that hangs around.
But here’s the thing: these kids are amazing. They’ve survived the unthinkable, and their strength isn’t just something to admire—it’s something to nurture, to get to know, and to pour into. They need people who will look past the gaps and see the potential. They need people who will take the time to hear their story and recognize their fight for what it is: proof that they’re capable of so much more than what’s on the surface.
For every teacher, coach, or mentor out there: you have the chance to be part of the best chapter of a cancer survivor’s story. You get to help them not just recover what they lost but build something even better in its place. Get to know your kids. Hear their stories. Recognize the value each of them brings to your space, whatever that may be. Invest in them.
To every young cancer survivor: you are stronger than you know. Lots of us see you and are cheering you on every single day. Your strength, your bravery, and your determination are so inspiring to so many people. Keep going. YOU GOT THIS. 💜
