Claudia Carballal Counseling

12/29/2022

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Is Family Counseling Right for You?

12/28/2022

It may be useful to talk about past negative experiences, but at some point we must go beyond them and not make them part of our identity.

Simply talking about the past without gaining insight, is a small and temporary remedy to personal problems. It doesn’t help in the long run because new issues will continue to arise in different forms to challenge us.

Through insight, something in us changes fundamentally and we can see new issues in a new light, from a new perspective.

We need to have a burning desire to be free from the past, free from the influence of a negative psychological identity that has been creating our narrative— the story that you tell yourself and others about you and your life.

12/23/2022

Let your days unfold naturally.
Trust that there’s a higher power taking care of everything.
We need “bad” days and “good” days for contrast; they are two sides of the same coin.
Make space for the possibility that maybe things were not meant to be, or were meant to be.
Things affect you depending on the meaning you give to them.
Don’t mind the ups and downs of life, it’s how you respond that matters.
Don’t be afraid of the ups and downs of life. They are like fireworks in the sky.
The fireworks are the ways in which life unfolds.
The vastness of the sky where the fireworks play is always there steady, unchanged as Consciousness.
This Consciousness is your higher nature, it’s what gives space to breathe between problems, it’s what inspires you to raise above difficulties.

12/18/2022

As a Trauma-Informed counselor, people often ask me why abused women (or men) don’t leave their relationship sooner.

This situation becomes clearer when we understand the psychological effects on a mind-person who has been abused.

Abuse is not only physical, but can also be emotional (games, lies, lack of clarity, manipulation), verbal (shouting, insults, constant complaints and criticism, tantrums), financial (hiding money, preventing a partner from making financial decisions or having an opinion about money).

In abusive relationships there’s an unbalance of power where the authoritarian person has the control or wants to have control.

The power of freedom and decision has been eroded or slowly taken away. The abused person stops believing in her capacity to make choices. Psychologically, they may return to a state of adolescence when they felt helpless. The normal response of leaving an authoritarian relationship is diminished.

It can take years for abused individuals to reintegrate to their true power, especially if they saw abuse or authoritarianism in childhood.

As a counselor, my job is to listen and empower, to help face fears, to remind individuals of their capacity and right to make choices.

12/17/2022

Attention is a human superpower.

Discernment is a human superpower.

They are two of the main tools of Yoga, crucial for grounding and life fulfillment.

Wherever your attention goes, that intensifies and it’s taken as “your experience.”

You can decide where you put your attention, and this can transform your life.

To make a good decision, you need the power of discernment.

Discernment helps you make sound decisions, to see clearly what is the right path, what you should do, and why you should do it.

Discernment and intuition need to be applied in collaboration. But be careful not to confuse intuition with emotions that haven’t been processed and observed properly. Some emotions can lead you on the wrong path.

12/17/2022

12/16/2022

Does Marriage Help us Grow and Evolve?

People come together for different reasons — companionship, social status, financial support, cultural expectations, convenience, friendship. However, these reasons are not enough to sustain a healthy relationship. To sustain a healthy and fulfilling relationship, both partners have to evolve as a couple and develop relational skills that support that growth.

12/15/2022

Yesterday on my way home I took an Uber ride. A nice young man was driving the car. He shared his experience with a woman that he likes and told me about some of their interactions. When he knew I work as a counselor, he asked me whether I thought it was wrong to apologize to his girlfriend after an argument, as it can be perceived as a sign of weakness, especially coming from a man. He said that he considers himself a kind person, but that people sometimes take advantage of that.

I asked him: "What is the source of your kindness?" He hesitated for a moment, then said: "Because it's the right thing to do." He got it right.

I told him that if the source of his kindness is to please people or to fit in, that is a sign of weakness. On the other hand, if the source of his kindness is based on principle--the universal principles of peace, respect, and harmony--then apologizing is a sign of great strength.

I told him that the world needs more man who are kind, respectful, peaceful, and use force only when absolutely necessary to protect life and in self-defense, for example, and always trying to do the less harm possible. This is the principle of Zen and traditional martial arts.

I hope this young man's girlfriend appreciates a kind man and that he feels strong and confident in his kindness based on principle.

12/15/2022

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Helping You to Free Your Mind

12/13/2022

When you are seeking professional help to improve your life and relationships, it’s useful to know what therapeutic approach a counselor uses. A therapist’s foundational theory provides a roadmap to achieve your therapy goals. It’s like an airplane’s radar and GPS - guiding the plane to where it needs to go an the best route to take based on data.

I’m primarily a cognitive behavioral therapist — I help explore your thoughts and core beliefs to gain clarity and find solutions. I also facilitate the observation of personal narrative — the story that you tell yourself and others about your life — and the finding of meaning in your experiences.

I found that formal traditional yogic practices, including meditation and sadhana, are not much different from observing thoughts, changing your narrative, and finding true meaning.

It’s the spiritual element — connecting with your higher power — that allows for this deep exploration, observation, transformation, and catharsis.

Find more information at:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/1056493

12/10/2022

CLAUDIA CARBALLAL COUNSELING

I provide bilingual and multicultural counseling for individuals, couples, and families. In person and virtual sessions. Office located in Snyder Plaza in the heart of Park Cities and University Park.

Call for a free 15-minutes phone consultation. I will return your phone call and we’ll determine the best course of action.

More details and contact information at:
https://www.claudiacarballal.com

12/09/2022

ACTING FROM FEAR INSTEAD OF LOVE

Most people make decisions based on fear. Unconsciously or consciously, fear creates a certain emotion and subsequently a behavior.

Most of the time — unless you’re trying to save your life and are acting from a healthy instinct — a decision based on fear is the wrong decision.

EIGHT GUIDELINES TO BE FEAR FREE:

Don’t be a good person out of fear of being judged; be a good person out of love for yourself and others.

Don’t be in a relationship based on fear of being alone; be in a relationship because there’s true love in it.

Don’t stay at a job that makes you miserable because you fear change; stay at a job because it fulfills your life purpose.

Don’t maintain friends out of fear of not being socially accepted; keep the company of friends who help you grow.

Don’t do things out of fear of missing out; do things because you love doing them.

Don’t hold yourself back out of fear of rejection; hold yourself back because you know it’s not your time yet.

Don’t just blindly follow religious precepts or social norms out of fear of punishment; follow principles out of your own conviction that they make a better world.

Don’t please others based on fear of not fitting in; where there’s love you will fit in naturally and no one will ask you to please them.

12/06/2022

In our popular culture, we believe that we have to find our ideal partner. What is an ideal partner is not only a subjective idea, but also an elusive one as we are constantly evolving and changing.

If the institution of marriage doesn’t help us grow and expand, it will lose its original purpose and bound to become obsolete.

Read more

12/05/2022

IS THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE HELPING US GROW AND EVOLVE?
In our popular culture, we believe that we have to find our ideal partner. What is an ideal partner is not only a subjective idea, but also an elusive one as we are constantly evolving and changing. Only our core essence remains the same, but how many couples know themselves and their partners that deep?

Read the full article here https://www.claudiacarballal.com/post/is-marriage-obsolete

12/01/2022

In my work as a counselor I often see people that come out of relationships hurt and disappointed. Things are not the way they expected.

Although we cannot control many things and events in life, wouldn’t it be beneficial to talk about life values, non-negotiables, and big decisions before creating a life partnership with someone?

Premarital counseling (pre-partnership, as I like to call it) can be a positive preventive tool before a couple develops rigidity and problematic habits. During premarital counseling, a couple can talk about important areas, such as values, work, finances, children, and extended family, before they become a larger issue.

Couples counseling, on the other hand, is often focused on repairing and undoing unhealthy habits.