Whole Healing with Lauren Hofferber

08/26/2024

My desire is to see the embodiment of identity inside the body of Christ. Imagine a whole body of Christ KNOWING who they are, that's an unstoppable force in an unmovable place in Yeshua HaMashiah because He is the Chief Cornerstone of our lives. I am sad when survivors miss out on this kind of community because of the brokenness that disrupted that unity. The church doesn't know who she is and I'm sad that there is so much lack of accountability within her. 😭

From a friend, a survivor of sexual abuse in the church. Seems especially pertinent now in the day of Robert Morris’s exposure.

*****
One HUGE reason many of us stay silent is because our perpetrators are SO "perfect."

And we are not. We struggle with failed su***de attempts, cutting, eating disorders, PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc.

Our offenders are perfect and blameless. They wear the perfect outfit and display the perfect charm. They are those with stellar reputations, those with a long list of successes - no struggles that would give them labels, etc.

I don't have a family that will support me. I and other victims are pretty much on our own as far as defending our reputations. There are many who can gain from trying to make us look un-credible, and they are all powerful, respected people.

We are nobodies...just regular people, but people who are struggling to live in healthy ways after being in horrific environments.

***

And once again, we ask the people of God to listen.

05/15/2024

We never get to see the fullness of wounds that get inherited but God always has grace for ALL of it! I bless you cycle breakers! I bless you to enter into the season to transition from survival to growing to thriving! Just don't give up on the work and process! ❤️

05/10/2024

We had an incredible gathering of Pummel the Devil last night! We discussed chapter TWO: The Question of Suffering. It's only been 2 weeks of this group and I'm already seeing the devil getting PUMMELED! Hallelujah!!

05/08/2024

Such an important message for all the generational cycle breakers!

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05/08/2024

This is excellent! ❤️

Someone mentioned telling a friend she needed to stop wearing the “Pick Me Kick Me” sign that attracted abusers.

This was my reply:

Well, I'm sure she would love to stop wearing it.

For those of us who are trying to help the abused but haven't experienced abuse ourselves (or at least didn’t experience it in childhood), there might be frustration with "why do you keep allowing abusers to take advantage of you?"

But we need to crawl into the same space with them for a while, and then we'll start to get it.

There are so many things that those who have been abused for years (in some cases all their lives) don't understand or even know are happening.

They often don't recognize when a boundary is being violated because they have ALWAYS experienced boundaries being violated.

They often don't recognize red flags because red is all they've ever seen.

In some cases they're even dissociative, so they can get home from a date (for example) and go, "What just happened?"

With one friend who was dating an abuser, I sat her down and we made a chart. In one column she listed everything she loved about him, and in the other column she listed everything that bothered her.

It was hard for her to fill in that second column because she had learned to dismiss troubling behavior in the name of "kindness," etc.

After we finally got done with the two lists I asked her to observe what the two lists consisted of.

Column 1 was all about personality (clever, interesting, well-traveled, blah blah).

Column 2 was about character (he demeans me sometimes, he demeans his friends, he gets angry, he violates boundaries, and more).

She finally broke up with him, but it was extremely hard for her to do it, because of all the attractive attributes in Column 1.

It was quite a while, months I think, before I found out something she had never told me.

He had been calling her terrible names.

She had been too ashamed to tell me that. And after all, she felt like she deserved them.

When women have been through abuse, it can be a slow process needing much patience to help them untangle all the tangled thoughts that come from the lies that have been embedded.

They’ve been engrained through PTSD, trauma bonding, sometimes CPTSD, etc.

Some of these lies are "I don't deserve better treatment. I'm worthless anyway. No one will love me so I'd better take this one."

Part of OUR job is to help them see the truth that their Savior and Shepherd greatly loves them and wants to bring healing from the abuses of the wolves in their lives.

Then the "Pick Me Kick Me" sign will fall away on its own.

05/07/2024

BUILDING COMMUNITY

A few weeks ago, my husband shared with me news headlines of airstrikes between Israel and Iran. As I read through the news articles, I started praying, "Yeshua, what do I need to be praying for? What do I need to understand about this? How am I to participate with this?". I immediately felt a prompting from Yeshua to go research the Roman Empire historical events during the time Jesus was on the earth.

Much like today, there were wars, rumors of war, political plots, corruption, politicians and rulers with evil agendas, cults, idols, political conflicts between the territories, propaganda, culture conflicts, religion conflicts, etc. There's also no doubt that the Romans were so good at conquering territories which led to many victories but I personally think the real conquest is how the Romans were successful at cultivating territories by processing Roman citizenship, establishing education, forming alliances, gathering resources and building military forces. While this was a success in many territories, when it comes to the Germanic territories, it became a complex challenge. The specific historical event that struck me was the uprising of the Germanic tribes revolting against the Roman Empire at around 9AD and it was victorious among the tribes. This historical event was known as the Battle of the Teutoburg Forest. The Romans attempted to take the territories back but failed.

While there were many campaigns and strategies for retaliation to gain back the territories, many of them were huge failures which was quite significant for the Romans. While Jesus was actively building his ministry, healing, teaching, preaching, spreading the good tidings of his kingdom, the Roman kingdom was picking up rampage of territories.

I took this to prayer again, "Ok, Yeshua, what does all this have to do with Israel today? What am I missing here?". I heard the Lord say, "While the same political conflicts were happening in the Roman empire, what was I doing?". "Well you were teaching, preaching, healing, delivering people, revealing miracles and the glory of God, building disciples---" "YES THAT! I was building! No amount of glory in a kingdom or empire is greater than the glory revealed in the homes I sat in. MY Kingdom revealed through the faith of the people are far more powerful than any the ruler, king or Cesar."

So I was able to answer my original questions:

What do I need to be praying for? Pray for invitations to come sup in people's homes and reveal God's kingdom.

What do I need to understand about this? People are hungry for community and need to see a miracle to believe again.

How am I to participate with this? Showing up.

05/06/2024

We had an incredible first week of PUMMEL THE DEVIL! It's not too late to join in the group and even if you haven't started the book yet, you are still welcome to join in the discussion! See ya'll on Thursday for chapter TWO, 7pm Central time.

Comment below if you like to participate and I will add you to our private group to join the discussions and watch the replays! 👇

05/02/2024

TONIGHT is the night we begin Pummel the Devil chapter ONE. This is a reminder to read chapter one before meeting at 7pm CST on ZOOM. If you haven't read chapter ONE yet, not a problem, you are still welcome to join in the discussion but there will be spoilers 😉

If you haven't joined the group yet, comment "I'm ready to Pummel the Devil!" below 👇

05/01/2024

Tomorrow We begin PUMMEL THE DEVIL together at 7pm central time on ZOOM. It's not too late to join the group! I will be recording all the discussions and posting them in a private Facebook group, so you don't have to attend every Thursday night but it would be awesome to join in the discussion! It's not too late to get a copy of Pummel the Devil which is available on Amazon Kindle. SEE YOU TOMORROW!

Comment below if you're ready to PUMMEL THE DEVIL! 👇