A provider of psychotherapy, couples counseling, and executive coaching My approach to psychotherapy is to listen to and understand your story until I know enough to ask questions about where it hurts, what you'd like to change, and how you stop yourself from doing so.
I keep it simple and no frills, as it should be
Executive Coaching Bio for Jim Dolan
My best coaching work is done with the new executive or a new partner in a service firm who must now understand and develop his/her leadership capacity. I believe that leading others has more to do with who a person is rather than what they know. My job as an executive coach is to assist in developing the underst
Operating as usual
forbes.com What if mental disorders like anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder aren’t mental disorders at all?
news.yale.edu When students learn specific techniques for managing stress and anxiety, their well-being improves across a range of measures and leads to better mental health.
jimdolantherapy.com Is any human being ever completely honest? Is it within human capability to be ‘completely honest’? That is, to leave nothing out, and add nothing in? The lie is an attempt to create an advantage for oneself in the world. We lie actively by communicating that we possess something that the other ...
A post I wrote two years ago on a topic I’ve thought a lot about lately when someone I respect said ‘ no one hates Trump more than I do’- I admit to failing at some of my own call outs from time to time, temptation being too great to resist but anyway, here goes:
But when i succumb to the urge to hate, i succumb to the precise emotion he wishes to stir. 'hating' him will solve nothing, you've done nothing but sink into the negativity of hate. going on late night TV and hurling obscene, sophomoric insults at him feels good, but yeah, hate feels good. copying and pasting inane, insulting memes and videos does nothing but make you feel good for a minute or two. we have to rise above, as difficult as it might be, not because its 'wrong' to hate, but because it progresses nothing, draws us down to his level, and blocks the clear thinking and action required to get us out of this mess.
hippocraticpost.com 39% of married couples and civil partners reported the highest levels of stress and anxiety compared with single or divorced adults since lockdown began,.
nytimes.com Much of the country is reopening, even as in some places the number of Covid-19 cases is rising. The idea of stepping out of isolation makes some people anxious.
washingtonpost.com “I was trying to convince him that [covid-19] was real and that he should be social distancing,” says one woman. “He was trying to convince me it was a government conspiracy.”
some thoughts on sustaining intimacy in the time of covid
coach4pros.blogspot.com a blog for service professionals, including, but not limited to: lawyers, doctors, architects, mental health providers, financial consultants, business consultants; and having to do with the psychological business of such business... but also and very much having to do with business development, lea...
jimdolantherapy.com Therapy need not be 'on-site'. James Dolan offers online psychotherapy and coaching for adults, teens, couples, and professionals in and around Dallas, TX.
[02/15/19] beginning today, I am available for online and telephone consultation. please contact me at: [email protected], for more details.
question from a perceptive client today: is shame really weaponized empathy?
[01/23/19] If you are at all conscious of what you are doing, psychotherapy is a deeply humbling profession
[01/22/19] i spent the early years in my field almost constantly thinking i needed to find another career. i am so glad i didn't...
[11/07/18] my favorite client is the one who has given up hope
It seems to me that a person's political orientation is not so much a choice as it is bequeathed by our origins. As I review my own history, I see that I could really be nothing else but what is now called a 'liberal'. I do not proclaim this either with pride or humility, but rather as a simple fact that I believe makes me no better or worse than anybody else.
I grew up in a woman led home with my father a criminal, frequently in prison or jail, always wanted by some law enforcement entity somewhere, most often by the FBI. By anybody's measure, he was as complete a criminal as it is possible to be. I also grew up in a time of massive cultural shift, the youth rebellion/hippie movement of the 60s, and thus I was aligning with my peers, while also unconsciously choosing who my peers would be. Which is to say, not all young people of the 60s automatically aligned with the rebellion.
Even deeper, rebellion is a part of my Irish heritage, as the Irish of the late 19th/early 20th century were those decades mistrusted and feared immigrants. The very name Dolan, derived from a much longer Gaelic form, means ‘the defiant’.
This family structure- devout Catholic single mother, criminal father, always skirting the edges of poverty but for my mother's heroic efforts as a nurse anesthetist mirrored the family structure of many of the brown, black and disadvantaged people of the 50s and 60s. However, the color of my skin erased a barrier that many could not overcome.
I nevertheless felt marginal in my peer group of white middle class kids with their WWII veteran fathers who came home at night to a stay at home mom and who plopped down with Scotch and cigarettes to watch Walter Cronkite recite the news. My mom was so busy making sure we appeared, in every way possible, to be normal middle class kids, only thing missing being that male wage earner sitting in the living room. Whenever asked what my father did, the learned answer was, 'he's a traveling salesman.'
But this retelling of my own personal past is really not the point here, but I use it to illustrate how profoundly origins influence and even create our political beliefs. If you overlook my race, and look simply at the family structure, you will see the origins of what is now called ‘a liberal’, which I define as a person who identifies with the marginalized, the minority.
Here in this public forum called Facebook, we both give and receive in the daily onslaught of accusation, rebuke, sarcasm, public shaming, and character assassination over one another’s political views, apparently without consideration of how those views were formed. We all partake in the ‘other-ization’ of those who don’t share our own. And, I will admit, I see people I know express views that I personally regard as completely irrational, regressive, even dangerously counterproductive to our society and our nation. But I work to remind myself that those views were so very often not chosen so much as they were inherited, a record of the family and society they were born into.
And this is why I believe so much raw emotion is aroused. Because our views are so much a part of who we are. When you disagree with my political outlook, you not only repudiate me, but my people, my heritage, my family, which I will stoutly defend against all reason. What we need to remember, though, is that we all bear this same burden of political outlooks that differ, and that we can never move forward if we go to war with ourselves and our fellows.
In these paragraphs, I want to invite you, if you are preparing to post some bombastic meme meant to ‘own’ or ‘totally destroy’ the so called other side, that you instead take a little while to consider how it might be that you came to your beliefs and share that here. Were they inherited or chosen? Were they an act of rebellion or consent? Are you carrying on cherished family values, or are they spit in the eye of the oppressor?
I’d look forward to reading what you have to say.
what we mean when we talk about self esteem https://medium.com/@jimdolan/the-concept-of-self-esteem-is-so-deeply-embedded-in-our-patterns-of-thought-and-speech-that-it-has-135d3d92599c#.x0kdqm34l
medium.com The word ‘esteem’ is rooted in Latin, and is related to the word ‘estimate’, both of which mean to assign value to real goods, i.e. metals…
latest article for Texas Lawyer, about when you just can't do it anymore...access full article through your LinkedIn sucscription http://www.texaslawyer.com/id=1202766886431/How-to-Help-Mitigate-That-Im-Done-Practicing-Law-Feeling?mcode=1202619333591&curindex=3&curpage=ALL&slreturn=20160813152522
texaslawyer.com Some simply want out of law practice, some want a simpler, less stressful type of practice, and others want out of leadership or group/firm practice. It is a...
[08/30/16] my favorite client is the one who doesn't believe therapy works
an edit of a piece written 20 years ago, updated...https://medium.com/@jimdolan/listening-to-the-dream-fd95c0dcbaa0#.l39fhpb77
medium.com Listening to the Dream
[07/26/16] I recently edited and re-published an article I wrote some time ago, some reflections and observations regarding long term intimate relationships....see it at www.coach4pros.blogspot.com
a blog post from a couple years ago, by request of a friend, on the topic of depression
some reflections on ten years of Zen
Next Tuesday, 9/29/15 at 7pm at Studio Movie Grille, Royal at Central, this documentary will be shown. I will be on the panel discussion/Q&A afterwards....please come!
IN THEATERS AND ON VOD MAY 22 It’s human nature to lie; we all do it! From scandalous headlines to little white lies, (Dis)Honesty – The Truth About Lies exp...
i once worked with people paroled from prison to a half way house. it was a very tough job. very...tough. but i learned a lot from those guys who in so many ways saw themselves as people with nothing to lose. they looked at our 'straight' world with the accuracy of complete outsiders.
one of the things i learned about was how stratified prison life was. every layer of the hierarchy looked with resentment and unspoken envy on the one above, and with utter contempt on the one below. as you approached the very bottom of system, you encountered the sex criminals. you had the guys who'd raped women, below them you had those who'd raped a sister, or, god forbid, a mother. then below them were those who'd raped other men (prior to entering prison). eventually the bottom most level were those who'd raped children. utterly consistent was the hatred of levels above for levels below.
what i learned is that in human nature, there is a need to hate, to say to oneself, 'i may be almost without worth, but at least I'M NOT ONE OF THEM (fill in whatever for THEM)'
now we have the internet, and we can freely proclaim our hate for that unwashed, uneducated, whatever kinda human being currently in the media's gunsights. like for instance, if some ignoramus records clerk proclaims her religious right to deny marriage licenses to gay people. which, by the way, i think she has no right to do, and should be issuing them like it says in her job description.
yes, i don't argue that Kim Davis is behaving in a completely ignorant fashion. but i also think that we reveal our own ignorance and need to hate and shame when we can't stop reveling in the schadenfreude of her arrest and the public ridicule of her marital past and poor taste in clothing.
everybody posting some hate/shame/ridicule commentary re: Kim Davis has bigger fish to fry than taking aim on some woman dumb enough to make a spectacle of herself. let's focus on making our own lives impeccable- a lifetime of effort with no completion date in sight.
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Jim Dolan when i started seeing people whose opinions i normally respected playing 'lets all dogpile the dumbass' i knew it was time...
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occasionally, i write art critique for local arts site DallasArtsRevue. i haven't contributed in some time, but this latest piece was quite satisfying to turn in. read up on young local artist Jeff Parrott http://www.dallasartsrevue.com/art-crit/Jim_Dolan/parrott/Parrott.html
dallasartsrevue.com Home Index Calendar OpportunitiesThEdblogResourcesFeedbackReviewsGoogle this SiteArt by MembersHow to JoinSend Us StuffArtists with WebsitesVisual Art GroupsContact
[07/10/15] hey, Frank Crossen, Ean Parsons, thanks for likin' my pro page!
What is The Black Box Spouse? Maybe you've been there. Read my latest blog post http://coach4pros.blogspot.com/
[06/11/15] thanks for liking this page, Paul Christensen
thanks for that, bulldozer_nation 2012 on reddit!
scroll down a bit http://www.reddit.com/r/Dallas/comments/369p1u/recommendations_for_a_good_psychologist/
reddit.com Looking for a little help for a young man trying to work through some social anxieties. Would prefer the far N. Dallas area. Thank you!
The Off-balance Moment at the Lunatic Asylum
my latest column for Texas Lawyer magazine, on that mirage called 'retirement'
texaslawyer.com Baby boomers have grown accustomed to being onstage, have grown comfortable there, and are having a hard time figuring the next act.
[04/06/15] thank you, Joana Darc Rosa Rosa for liking this page!
latest blog post, lengthy and difficult to write but very important to me http://coach4pros.blogspot.com/ "White Therapist, Black Client"
[03/13/15] let's say the ego is like a set of training wheels we learn to do without only slowly, but suffering can speed the process
In psychotherapy I my job is to listen to and work to understand your story. When I feel the time is right, I’ll ask questions about where it hurts, what you'd like to change, and how you stop yourself from doing so. I keep it simple and no frills, as it should be
Executive Coaching Bio for Jim Dolan
My best coaching work is done with the new executive or a new partner in a service firm who must now understand and develop his/her leadership capacity. I believe that leading others has more to do with who a person is rather than what they know. My job as an executive coach is to assist in developing the understanding of one’s being.
Approach to Coaching and Leadership Development
My job for clients is to form a solid relationship where they will find the courage to understand their personal self, and their leadership strengths and challenges. We build a framework within this relationship with clear and achievable milestones and goals. My ideal clients prefer a straightforward approach that is not about fads or lingo.
Success Story – C-Level Succession
An industry-leading commercial travel agency wanted their CFO to succeed the CEO in the next few years, but was uncertain as to whether he had the right leadership skills to become CEO. We began a six month engagement that helped him understand the company’s concerns, and he corrected a communication style that made him appear indifferent, when he was actually being analytical. The result is that the CFO has been confirmed by the Board of Directors as next CEO.
Success Story – Behavioral Change
The CMO of one of the world’s largest law firms was in jeopardy of termination if he did not change his autocratic style. I helped him understand that while he was almost always right about his job, he had to learn to let others ‘be right’ as well. He learned that his need to always ‘be right’ was the worst and most serious thing he did ‘wrong’. He kept his job, and he was able to rebuild relationships key to his and his team’s success.
Success Story- Behavioral Change
A large medical specialty group was having trouble with one of the partners, a gifted physician with poor interpersonal skills. They considered stripping him of his partnership. Some of the challenges had to do with the physician, and some of it had to do with the partnership. An individual assessment and frank presentation of the partnership’s complaints with the doctor led to a series of group meetings with all concerned. The meetings defused a potentially serious breach, saving the group the expense of buying the doctor out and the even larger expense of having to defend itself from a lawsuit.
I have been a psychotherapist since 1978. I received my graduate degree in psychology from Duquesne University, and began working in various United Way agencies in the greater Dallas area. I went into private practice in 1983, where I have been ever since.
My executive coaching work is a natural outgrowth of my therapy practice, in which I learned how to form strong, direct bonds with clients. Since 2007, I have contributed a quarterly column at Texas Lawyer Magazine called ‘The Coach's Corner.’
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