02/25/2026
For seventeen years, I have carried a quiet part of my story that shaped everything I built here.
When I was young, I survived a traumatic assault and became pregnant with my first daughter. Placing her for adoption was the hardest thing I have ever done. It was not a decision made out of lack of love — it was made because of love. I wanted her to have stability, security, and opportunities I could not provide at the time.
I named her Ann when I held her. Her adoptive family renamed her Elizabeth. I honor that — and I have loved her every single day of her life.
What I didn’t understand back then was how complicated “open adoption” can become. I was told I would remain connected. I was told I would receive updates. Instead, after a brief period of communication, the contact stopped. For seventeen years, I have written letters through the agency, celebrated her birthday quietly each March, and waited.
Not knowing if your child knows you love them is a unique kind of ache.
That ache is one of the reasons Birth Mom Missions exists.
This ministry was born out of the belief that birth mothers deserve support, advocacy, legal clarity, and community. Too often, young women sign papers without fully understanding their rights. Too often, “open” adoption depends entirely on the goodwill of others. Too often, birth mothers are expected to disappear quietly after placement.
We do not disappear.
We grieve.
We grow.
We carry our children in our hearts.
We build lives while still loving the ones we placed.
Years after placement, God blessed me with another daughter, Dani. Becoming her mother helped bring healing to parts of me that had been silent for years. She did not replace the love I have for my first daughter — nothing ever could — but she reminded me that joy and grief can coexist.
Now, my first daughter turns 18 on March 13.
For years, that milestone felt so far away. Now it is here.
I am sharing this not for sympathy, but for prayer — and for every birth mother who has counted down to an 18th birthday wondering if that will be the year they reconnect.
If my daughter ever reads this, I want her to know what I have always said:
She was never abandoned.
She was never forgotten.
She has always been loved.
And to every birth mom reading this — your story matters. Your love matters. And you are not alone.
Two daughters.
One I hold in my arms.
One I hold in my heart.
Both loved forever.
The rest of the story will posted in the flowing days to come.