
08/14/2023
It's easy to be frustrated when people behave in frustrating ways. But behavior always makes sense. It's telling us something and everything is easier when we try to listen.
Treating trauma and grief from every angle in order to promote healing and increase resilience.
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The purpose of Finding Freedom Therapy is to help you find your freedom from whatever is holding you hostage; from whatever it is that is keeping you captive, impeding your life, keeping you from breathing, or robbing you of your ability to live your life. In life, there will inevitably be struggles, but those struggles don't have to break us. In fact, those struggles are the exact things that can
make us stronger. After hardship, loss, or even trauma, we can do so much more than just heal. We have the opportunity to grow and become even more resilient and more capable to face anything the world may throw at us.
It's easy to be frustrated when people behave in frustrating ways. But behavior always makes sense. It's telling us something and everything is easier when we try to listen.
I think most people would avoid grieving if they had a choice. It feels just a bit more terrible when we feel grief for someone who harmed us. There's no need to shame yourself for a reaction you can't control. It's natural and common to have those feelings. You're not honoring that person. You're honoring your feelings.
If you are struggling in your relationships, or have people telling you that you are aggressive, overly critical, or negative, then your brain may be in a state of hyper alert or overly aroused. Meaning your nervous system may think you're in danger at times when you're not. This is an understandably trauma response, but it does not have to be permanent. There are many ways to help regulate your nervous system after a trauma. And, as simple and silly as it may sound, finding gratitude will help!
Grief is complex with perinatal loss. Although society does not like to acknowledge this loss, sometimes it is impossible to hide.
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How we interact with our children not only impacts their response to our requests, but it impacts their relationship with us and how they see themselves.
Happy Birthday America!!
It is absolutely understandable and sometimes helpful to be skeptical after experiencing traumatic or adverse events. But, at times, it can be harmful and may begin to infiltrate parts of our lives where it is very unhelpful or even detrimental to ourselves and our relationships.
Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads!
Yes!
I am proud of you!!
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❤️❤️❤️
Sometimes when we're grieving, it feels like we're mad at everything. And that may actually be the case. Just know that it's part of grief and it's okay to be angry. And, it won't last forever.
I hope today everyone takes a moment to honor all those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.
Please forward this to anyone who is struggling after this horrific tragedy.
We have set aside specific appointments for those impacted by the mass shooting in Allen, Texas.
We are one of the practices that was part of the proposal submitted to Governor Abbott to provide mental health services to those impacted by the Allen outlet mall shooting. I've been told the proposal has been approved, but not surprisingly we are still waiting on funding.
Therapy does not have to wait though! We will do anything we can to help you get immediate treatment. Please call us. We are here and we can help.
Please share with anyone who would benefit!
Happy Mother's Day to all the incredible, powerful, inspiring moms who work 'tirelessly' (no lies, we are all exhausted) to do all the everyday things that make the world turn.
May you never minimize the importance of what you do!
Whatever is causing your grief today, I hope you find comfort in taking care of yourself and honoring your grief.
In our DFW community so many of us are struggling after the horrific shooting in Allen. It's easy to think that our children aren't paying attention, but they are. Everyone feels scared right now. It's important your children know they can talk to you as they overhear information. I hope this link helps.
If you were still struggling, don't hesitate to reach out. We are here to support everybody in our community.
972-674-9166
Whether or not you were on scene in Allen on Saturday, our Overwatch Peer Support (OPS) network is here for you.
Call us at 214-341-7133 to connect with an OPSupporter.
OPSupporters are fellow law enforcement personnel from other North Texas agencies trained and certified by NAMI North Texas to provide CONFIDENTIAL peer support to their fellow officers, communications professionals, and civilian colleagues.
Allen Police Department
Allen Fire Department
Allen Fire Department
City of Allen City Hall
Collin County Sheriff's Office McKinney, Texas
For those who want to help everyone in Allen after the deadly shooting, please see below.
The Communities Foundation of Texas has created a Support for Allen fund. The resources will be directed towards multiple community services to help individuals impacted. It will not go directly to the victims/families but rather to services for them.
CFT works with individuals, families and businesses to make significant and lasting investments helping thousands of individuals and families stabilize and rebuild after disaster strikes.
My heart breaks that this tragedy took place in our own backyard. We are here to support the people of Allen in any way we can. Not only with our love and prayers, but with treatment and resources. We specialize, are certified, and professionally trained in trauma and grief therapy.
If you were impacted by this tragedy, or know someone who was, please reach out. If we are not in network with your insurance, we will work to find someone who is.
You are not alone.
Together we will rise up.
It's not about sadness... It's about Resiliency!
What a truly inspiring night with an incredible organization, Soaring Spirits.
I first became familiar with this community of widows while looking for resources for my mom after my dad unexpectedly passed away. But it wasn't until after losing a friend that I really became familiar with the incredible work they do. I was honored to meet the passionate & inspirational CEO Michele Neff Hernandez and the incredible team at .
I know many of our clients at Finding Freedom Therapy will benefit from their tireless work to support every widow, everywhere. If you know someone who's lost their spouse, please connect them to this amazing organization.
When we get caught seeing our child as the problem or ourselves as the problem, we get stuck. Circle of Security Parenting shows that blame is a no-win scenario. When we can put blame aside and focus on connection, we have a better chance of solving whatever problems may arise.
One of the pillars of PTSD is falsely blaming ourselves for things that in reality we're out of our control.
If this is something you are going through, we hope you reach out to explore whether you really are at fault or not. You might be surprised by what you learn.
Parents often feel isolated after having a baby. There is little round the clock support and the decrease in sleep can be very hard on parents and caregivers. It is not uncommon for scary thoughts to creep in. Sometimes, these thoughts are fears of something terrible happening to our baby. Other times, we may feel guilty for regretting having a child, even though we love our child so much. The scary thought is then followed by shame that keeps parents from talking to others who would understand.
If you are having scary thoughts, know you are not a terrible parent. It is a common occurrence especially with my clients who have a history of trauma and loss. If you are dealing with these thoughts, give us a call! 972-674-9166 Or, read Karen Kleiman's book, Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts. It is fantastic.
If there is a woman in your life who you love, you may want to watch the documentary, Fair Play, to better understand the invisible work load she is carrying everyday. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RX95jSQqV-Y
As a woman, mother, wife, business owner, and social worker, this documentary hit on so many important points that I have been talking about (both personally and professionally) for years, but this documentary does it so much better with clearer terms and verifiable statistics.
This information may be the very thing that can help heal marriages and bring families together in beautiful ways.
Inspired by Eve Rodsky's NYT bestselling book, the documentary FAIR PLAY takes a deep look at domestic inequity. By making the invisible care work historical...
Most parents want the very best for their children and do everything they can think of in order to raise strong, capable adults.
But, raising strong capable kids means helping them be the best versions of themselves. When we focus on making our children into the people we think they should be, we can inadvertently create more struggles for our children, lower their self-esteem, and increase their stress. In essence, we are doing the exact opposite of our goals.
When we accept our children where they are and help them grow in who they are, we will more likely meet our goals of raising strong, capable adults.
Happy Easter! We hope everyone is having a lovely and blessed Easter. A special thanks to our military and first responders who are working today.
If you are having a hard time on this holiday or any day, please reach out. Holidays can be difficult in general. Healing after a loss or trauma can make them even more overwhelming. We are here.
972-674-9166
It's okay to be angry at people we love who have died. In fact, I believe it's a more genuine and honest love. It allows us to grieve the actual person we lost and not some perfected false version of them that we're putting on a pedestal because they died.
Many things can cause obsessive thoughts such as excitement about learning a new hobby, or a symptom of ADHD called hyper-focus, or even symptoms of anxiety disorders such as OCD.
What may surprise you is that obsessive behaviors can also be learned from childhood or after a traumatic event. When in unsafe situations, some people will become very focused on being perfect and having all the answers in an attempt to proactively avoid being harmed. These learned behaviors may carry over when we're no longer in harmful situations.
If you find yourself over-explaining in hopes you won't be misunderstood, or obsessively researching every detail so people will believe you, then there may be some lingering safety behaviors from your past.
I really appreciate Bridget Jowid and her team over They offer neurofeedback and were kind enough to walk me through the process as it can be a fantastic addition to traditional therapy.
Neurology is finally catching up to Psychology and there are countless treatments that can make an impact!
Some of the most impressive women I've ever met served our country both in the military or as spouses and family members to those who served.
To the women who have answered their call to serve❕❕
Today is International Women’s Day and VA is celebrating YOU. We honor your achievements, value your diversity, and recognize your innumerable contributions to your communities, workplaces, and our nation.
At VA, you have access to the best care anywhere. You belong: https://bit.ly/41SegPr
🤣 Truth!
Happy Sunday 💛 I hope you get to enjoy it!
Today we honor all of the incredible women from Chief Home Officers (inaccurately known as stay-at-home moms) to CEOs. All the women who handle ALL the things to make this world go around.
"How you make sense of your childhood experience has a profound effect on how you parent your own children."
~Daniel Siegel
We have some spots left in our truly wonderful Reflective Parenting Group! Please call or email if you are interested!
Holidays can be hard for many reasons. And it's always okay to take time to grieve them, whether you're missing someone you love or you're feeling lonely.
Once you've given yourself a moment to grieve, one life hack is to direct your energies towards other things that you love. Take a moment to tell those in your life that you love them. Have a day of self-care! Have a date with your fur baby! Or take time to volunteer or donate at a charity. Something even as simple as paying for the car behind you at Starbucks (like a lovely woman did for me today.) You can spread love in multiple ways and still have a lovely day.
What a historic Super Bowl! Not only were there two Black starting quarterbacks for the first time in history, but another historic moment was thanks to the U.S. Navy and the incredible female pilots (many from Texas) who decided rather than shattering the glass ceiling, they would literally soar above it!
“We stand on the shoulders of giants. There’s a lot of people who make what we do possible…this is for them” ~ Lt. Caitlin Perkowski
The four-fighter jet flyover will have an all-woman team of seven as the U.S. Navy commemorates 50 years of female pilots.
You don't have to be the strongest in order to survive the things you've gone through. Humans are amazingly resilient and very capable of change and healing. As the Marines say, you just have to "Improvise, adapt, and overcome!"
Change is not easy, but it is possible!
Right now in Dallas we are having an ice storm, leaving most parents once again working from home while caring for their children. It made me think of how easy it is for us to constantly correct our children and how exhausting and frustrating that must be for them. I know I would probably not respond well if somebody was constantly correcting me, and I can understand why that might cause frustration in our kids.
If that's something you'd like to work on, here's a list of my favorite parenting books. https://findingfreedomtherapy.com/parenting-resources/
It's easy to feel overwhelmed when dealing with work and parenting. Thankfully, there are some really great life hacks out there, and we can learn to engage our kids in ways where they feel more respected and we feel less like jerks!
This is a fantastic visual! Be careful assuming people who look like they have it all together aren't messy or that they don't have their own struggles going on behind the scenes.
I think it can be surprising how long grief and mourning can last. Society doesn't seem to have patience for loss. Which seems to lead many of us to believe we are in the minority if we are still grieving. Many people seem to believe they should grieve quickly and move on.
The reality is we never stop grieving when we lose someone we love. We will grieve as long as we have love in our hearts for that person. Mourning is how we experience that grief and on average lasts 2 years. That time is elongated when it's traumatic grief or unexpected.
If you are grieving or know someone who is, I hope you can afford yourselves and others a bit more grace around this normal and understandable reaction to loss.
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