Holistic Sex Ed with Allissa

06/03/2024

https://www.wholistics*xed.com/post/is-s*x-education-grooming-children

Just added a new blog titled “Is S*x Ed Grooming Children?”. Usually used as a talking point by the far right, there is some genuine concern in there for some parents that s*x Ed might ‘groom’ their kids to want to have s*x sooner than they might have naturally, or “lose their innocence”. Want to read more? Check it out and send it to a friend ☺️

Our worst fear as parents is that someone will intentionally harm our kids, and a lot of us know how common it actually is. So, when it comes to s*x education a question that comes up for some is whether or not this education is actually s*xually grooming young kids. At the heart of this is our deep...

02/23/2024

This doesn’t mean that men don’t face societal pressures or body image issues, because they absolutely do, but it’s become a social phenomenon to celebrate dad bods (and they ARE s*xy) and yet mom bods still seem so stigmatized, certainly not celebrated, and repulsive to many.

Why do you think this is?

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02/23/2024

Let’s talk about them in the comments!

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*xuality *xuality *xualpleasure

02/21/2024

What should I ask him next??

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02/20/2024

I know I’m usually quite soft and kind… and I really don’t mean this to be harsh

But sometimes we need to hear it straight, no sugar coating

✨If we haven’t told our partner what we want, showed them how, corrected them when they didn’t get it quite right and reminded them probably a few times… we are the reason we aren’t having better s€x ✨

Yes, absolutely, sometimes we engage with people that continue to ignore our needs and wants, disregard our desires or show absolutely no interest in pleasing us, but that’s a separate issue isn’t it?

What’s unfair is for us to assume that just because our partner isn’t getting everything right that they don’t care, or don’t want to please us. It’s not fair to assume that just because they haven’t asked what we like, or want, or if we’ve orgasmed, that they don’t care.

Most of us are running around with a slightly skewed idea of what s€x should be or look like. And usually the idea is that pe*******on is the end all be all and that communication, checking in, asking, or telling someone what we want kills the mood

Sometimes we have to be the brave one and be the first one to speak up

🛏 Have you ever been the reason why you aren’t having better s€x? I sure have! Let’s talk about it in the comments 😊

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02/18/2024

Don’t just nod and keep scrolling

Spend some time actually considering this

Most of us are going through the motions, doing the things we think s€x is supposed to consist of. And we might happen upon a few really nice moments where things feel really good… but then we continue to move through the motions and steps to complete what we consider s€x

That isn’t how it needs to be. You can start s€x a million different ways and do a million different things that all ‘count’ as s€x and none of them have to be the prescribed methods. And you can find something you really love that night and ask to just keep doing that. You don’t need to go from A to B to C.

Make your intimate life what works for you, and make it suit you at any given moment

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02/15/2024

This obviously isn’t unanimous to all age gap relationships and I think I hit the jackpot but 😉

I had a hard time with this because I don’t know that much of this even has to do with Toms age, as much as it does his personality and the biggest hurdle our age gap has created is a few glances in public 🤷🏻‍♀️

But I think we’re really lucky and found each other at just the right time ☺️

🌈 Is there anything else you want to know about our dynamic?

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02/14/2024

Guys I forgot today is Valentines Day 🤣🤣

As a holiday, it doesn’t really hold a lot of value to me, but love in general is priceless ☺️

Muslim love
Gay love
Black love
As*xual love
Single love
Poly love
Le***an love
Straight love
Bis*xual love
Age gap love
Old love

All the love 🥰

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02/14/2024

🌈What are your thoughts about s€x work? Have you ever done it or considered it?

I sure have thought about it!
I wanted to start an Only Fans page with an old friend where we would do educational videos like how to finger someone, locating the prostate, ha***ob tips, how to choke someone somewhat safely, etc etc.

Never panned out because I’m camera shy but it was an awesome idea and I still love the thought of it 😆
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02/13/2024

*Reposted to fix a vital text error*

Death is not the answer. Taking innocent lives is not the answer.

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

02/08/2024

Whether it’s men, women, an@l, swallowing cum, getting spit on, being spanked, very specifically a tall Italian man in a suit with a pink tie and a black belt, or the feeling of being loved, appreciated and deeply valued

You never got to pick

Those were the cards handed to you and crafted by your life and experiences

We don’t judge ourselves so horribly about our favorite colors, music or styles

So why this? What makes this so hard to accept about ourselves? What do you think?
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*x

02/07/2024

But also…. What’s wrong with being gay? What if it did make you gay? What’s so bad about that??

Just curious!

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*xuality *xeducationmatters *xpositiveeducation *xualhealth

02/06/2024

What are a few things you can learn from p**n?

- that there’s people out there that like the same things as you
- that your desires are okay or even ‘normal’
- that all bodies are attractive
- new positions
- techniques
- how to flow a s€x scene
- how to have performative s€x

Things you might not be able to learn, or learn well:

• how to talk about protection and STIs
• how to ask for verbal consent
• how to create a consent practice
• how to negotiate
• how to navigate awkwardness
• how to have really authentic s€x

So while there’s plenty to learn from, there’s obviously also a lot missing. We can have both, we can talk about both, we can discuss that nuance!

What have you learned from p**n? What do you feel is missing?

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*xed *xbaby

02/03/2024

This is probably the biggest misconception about consent; that if someone doesn’t stop you from doing something that they actually wanted and consented to it

What probably happened is called ‘fawning’. They went into a freeze response due to fear or past trauma

And while I don’t believe that a verbal ‘yes’ actually secures consent either (because people can and do lie for similar fawning reasons), I think it can help

As can stopping and checking in with them

As can asking open ended questions like “I’m happy to stop or take a break from this if you aren’t into it; what would you like to do?”

As can tuning into their body language, sounds, expressions

As can talking about s€x and consent beforehand

A consent practice needs to be multilayered to be effective. Securing a yes is not the gold standard

🦋 Want to learn how to cultivate your own authentic, effective and s*xy consent practice? Click the link in my bio and head to Classes to learn more about me Real Consent for Real People class coming up at the end of the month! Is money tight? Reach out via email so we can make an arrangement that works for you ❤️ you deserve to be there

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*xualassault *xualassaultawareness *xualassaultawarenessmonth

02/02/2024

It’s true

Unfortunately there’s no one trick or tip or steps to follow to have shameless s€x. It’s a process, it’s inner work, it’s cultivating a relationship with yourself and your desires and trusting and believing that you are ‘normal’ and s*xy and desirable

It’s hard. I try to make it a little easier by talking about these things but I can’t do the work for you 🥺

What do you think is getting in the way of liberated s€x for you?

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*xed 💕

02/01/2024

Word them in a way that makes sense for you and feels really authentic!

1.) everyone has their own idea of what consent is and how to practice it. No one answer is right, but if there’s a big mismatch in practices there might be more bumps in the road!

2.) offering up your test results and date can help others feel like “oh, wow, this is something I can share and doesn’t make others think I’m dirty or gross?”. (We think some really awful things about ourselves and STDs, don’t we? 🥺)

3.) if you are out there dating and you are VEHEMENTLY against toys and p**n…… I think it’s your responsibility to make that clear from the beginning/early on and not just assume that everyone feels that way too. Because the majority of people don’t! And if you love them, you might want to discuss it with a potential partner before it becomes a possible issue!

4.) takes the guessing and pressure off 😉😍

5.) some people feel really inadequate in this department… whether they are or aren’t. But knowing up front can help you in the long run because instead of assuming they don’t want to communicate, you’ll know that maybe they just don’t know how to!

What do you think of these questions?

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01/31/2024

I truly can’t believe how many, sometimes excruciatingly, painful procedures women and AFAB people go through with zero pain management or explanation of what’s going to happen or what to do for care after the procedure… it’s just……. Astonishing and horrifying and creepy

I have an entire blog about this on my site if you want to read more and get some tips about how to talk to your doctor ❤️

Head to my profile and click the link in the bio

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01/30/2024

Full stop and I’m not even sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

And honestly, I hold this belief across all prescriptions and medications

If you aren’t willing to tell a teenage girl that hormonal birth control may permanently alter her brain, you shouldn’t prescribe it

If you aren’t willing to tell anyone that hormonal birth control greatly increases your risk of cancer and stroke, you shouldn’t be allowed to prescribe

If you aren’t willing to tell a man that his blood pressure meds might cause erectile dysfunction, you shouldn’t be prescribing it

That is not informed consent

This should not be allowed anywhere in the medical field, and yet, the withholding, outright lying and medical gaslighting is RAMPANT

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