The Evolved Caveman for men who choose:
Courage > contempt. Respect > dominance. Boundaries > control. Repair > punishment. Ownership > blame. Hi.
No shame, no gender wars—leadership:
less reactivity, more intimacy, strong backbone I’m Dr. John Schinnerer, founder and CEO of Guide To Self, a company focusing on scientific tools to achieve your professional and personal potential. I do behavioral health coaching - this helps you create habits of success by identifying where you are stuck, listening to your inner wisdom, discovering your deep
est values and transforming your goals into action. My work draws on the principles of positive psychology, cognitive-behavioral therapy and the latest in goal setting research. Everything I teach is based on science. In coaching, I focus more on your present than your past. I put more emphasis on a fulfilling future than past disappointments. In fact, therapists in my office suite used to give me a hard time, “How come your clients don’t leave your office looking guilty and gnashing their teeth? Why are they smiling and laughing?” That’s because my goal is for my clients to leave feeling better than when they arrive. And frequently, that is exactly what happens. By focusing on solution-oriented tools and highlighting your natural strengths, I help you to maximize your personal and professional potential in areas such as:
managing anger or anxiety
managing stress
effective communication
and dealing with life transitions such as divorce
In my 20 year career in psychology, I have been fortunate to write an award-winning book entitled, How Can I Be Happier? I was honored to serve as a consultant to Pixar’s Academy-award winning movie, Inside Out. I am a fellow of the National Anger Management Association. And I hosted a daily prime time radio show several years ago. On top of this, I have helped thousands of clients in person and on the web to significantly reduce anger, anxiety and stress while increasing their satisfaction with and engagement in life. The foundation of effective coaching is the relationship I establish with my clients. Research has shown that the technique the therapist or coach uses is not as important as the relationship you build together. As the work progresses and trust is created, you will use the alliance between us as a workspace, to resolve problems in your life. As a client, regardless of the areas that you would like to address, please know that you will be understood, validated, and respected. Clients come to me because they want positive, sustainable change. Give me a call at 925-575-0258 or email John@GuideToSelf.com to see how we can transform your goals into action.
04/22/2026
Most men don’t have an anger problem.
They have a regulation problem.
When pressure hits, your nervous system takes over, and if you don’t have a system, you default to reaction.
This 5-step reset gives you a way back to control in real time.
Not suppression.
Not pretending you’re calm.
👉 Actual emotional leadership.
Save this. Practice it. Use it the next time you feel the spike.
Because the man who can regulate himself…
is the man people trust, respect, and follow.
04/21/2026
In the latest episode of The Evolved Caveman podcast on Apple, Spotify or Amazon.
04/21/2026
Everyone keeps saying AI is a technology revolution.
👉 Employees are wondering if they’re being replaced.
👉 Leaders are terrified of falling behind.
👉 Managers are stuck in the middle trying to hold it together.
And no amount of better software fixes that.
If you want real adoption, you don’t just upgrade systems:
You upgrade leadership, communication, and emotional intelligence.
Because when people feel psychologically safe,
they don’t resist change…
They drive it.
🎧 In this episode of The Evolved Caveman, we break down:
• Why AI resistance is actually rational
• The hidden emotional barriers leaders ignore
• How to lead through uncertainty without losing your team
👉 Listen now to "The Real Reason AI Adoption Keeps Failing At Work
(It’s Not The Tech)," and start leading the human side of innovation.
04/20/2026
Most companies think AI adoption is a software problem.
It’s not.
It’s a human problem.
Here’s what’s actually happening inside organizations right now:
• Leaders are afraid of falling behind
• Employees are afraid of being replaced
• Managers are stuck in the middle: overwhelmed and under-equipped
And then companies wonder why adoption stalls.
Because you can’t force innovation through fear.
You can’t automate trust.
And you definitely can’t scale performance while people feel unsafe.
When people resist AI, they’re not being difficult…
They’re having a completely sane nervous system response to uncertainty.
The companies that win this next wave won’t just have better tech.
They’ll have:
✔ Better leadership
✔ Higher psychological safety
✔ Managers who actually know how to guide change
That’s the real edge.
🎙️ In this new episode of The Evolved Caveman, I break down:
• Why AI adoption is failing (and it’s not what you think)
• The hidden emotional barriers no one is talking about
• What leaders must do differently to actually make AI work
If you lead people or work inside a company trying to “figure out AI”, this one matters.
👉 Listen now to "The Real Reason AI Adoption Keeps Failing At Work (It's Not The Tech)," and rethink everything you’ve been told about AI at work.
Drop a comment: What’s been your experience with AI at work so far—empowering or unsettling?
04/20/2026
New episode of The Evolved Caveman now out! Why ignoring the fear of employees is sabotaging AI adoption efforts. And introducing a new psychologically-informed AI resiliency coaching tool that harnesses the latest and most effective change management strategies and targets where employees are stuck - cognitively AND emotionally.
Visit TetheredConsulting.com for info on beta testing.
Link to podcast in profile.
04/16/2026
Most men try to fix their job, their relationship, their stress, their past…
But skip the one place real change actually happens: themselves.
“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.” - Jim Rohn
This isn’t about blame.
It’s about power.
Because the moment you stop waiting for life to shift…
you start becoming the man who can handle it.
I teach high-performing men how to build emotional mastery, grounded leadership, and real self-trust, so life stops happening to them and starts happening through them.
If this hits home, you’re not alone.
👉 Follow for more grounded tools on emotional leadership
👉 Share this with a man who needs the reminder
04/13/2026
You’ve built the career.
You’ve handled pressure.
You’ve performed when it matters.
But here’s the question most men avoid:
Can you lead yourself when emotions hit?
Because that’s where things break down:
Reactivity instead of response
Distance instead of connection
Pressure instead of presence
Most high-performing men weren’t taught emotional mastery…
So they rely on control, until it stops working.
That’s exactly why I created The Evolved Caveman Podcast.
This isn’t surface-level self-help.
It’s where we break down:
→ Emotional awareness
→ Anger and stress regulation
→ Communication under pressure
→ Real self-leadership
All in a way that’s practical, grounded, and built for men who already perform at a high level.
If you’re ready to upgrade how you show up, not just what you achieve…
🎧 Start listening today.
Link in bio.
04/08/2026
Most men think happiness is a luxury.
Something you earn after success.
But here’s the truth:
Happiness is what drives success.
When your internal state is off, everything else gets harder: your focus, your discipline, your relationships, your ability to lead.
That’s where most men stay stuck…
Not because they lack drive, but because they’re running on empty.
I built this course to change that.
After 25+ years studying psychology, neuroscience, and high performance, I’ve distilled what actually works into a system you can apply immediately.
No fluff. No theory overload. Just tools that help you:
✔ Feel better day-to-day
✔ Perform at a higher level
✔ Build real resilience
✔ Strengthen your relationships
And most importantly…
✔ Raise your baseline so success becomes sustainable
This is about becoming the man who doesn’t just push harder,
but leads himself better.
You can enroll today for $97 with a 30-day zero-risk guarantee.
The 5 Realms of Self-Worth: Why Feeling “Enough” Changes Everything
New podcast episode The Evolved Caveman
Link in profile.
10/28/2025
For an important talk on the importance of self-worth which impacts your love life, your ability to get paid what your worth, your happiness and your ability to receive love, check out the interview I just did with Jay Scherr.
Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Guide To Self, Inc. posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.
Hi. I’m Dr. John Schinnerer, founder of Guide To Self, a company focusing on coaching high performing clients using scientifically proven tools to achieve professional and personal potential. My goal is for my clients to be successful and happy at home and at work. Short of this, there is no true success.
Let me share a case study with you to give you a clear idea of what I do. Note: This is a mash-up of several clients and the name has been changed to maintain anonymity.
A former client of mine, “Bob”, came to me and said, “I live in a prison. I am a slave to my family and my work.” Bob is 51 years old, married with two sons - one in college and one in high school. At our first meeting, it was clear he had lost his passion for life. When I spoke to him about a positive future, he didn’t have one. He was simply going through the motions. Bob and his wife bickered frequently. She was “not attracted” to him anymore. At work, he was valued, appreciated, successful and knew what was expected of him. At home, he was in the way, struggled with communication, suffocating in his marriage, and rapidly losing the respect of his sons.
He told me, “I’m lonely, even when my wife is around. I’m sad and lonely if I’m being honest. I want to feel loved again. Appreciated. Adored. Valued. I miss my wife — the way it used to be.”
For Bob, it was easier to stay at work, than to come home and be with his wife. “I know what’s expected of me at work. It’s clear. When I come home, I’m in for a ration of s**t. And I just sort of stopped wanting to be alone with my wife because every time we’re alone, it ends up in an argument.”
“Years of burying myself in my work have led me to become maritally brain dead. I sacrificed everything to provide for my family. Now I’m losing them because of my sacrifice. What do I do? It’s been a long slow process of bloodletting - drip, drip, drip. My life is so normal now, and, by that, I mean fu***ng boring. How did we wind up here? If you looked at us, THEN, and look at us now,....sheesh! When we first started dating, we’d never scream at each other. We had s*x all the time. We never went days without speaking. We weren't this pi**ed off and hurt. Now we just get on each other’s nerves...all the time. We have become so hardened with petty hurts and slights and exhaustion that we just don’t fit together anymore.”
Marriages don’t typically end due to one large transgression, like an affair. Marriages die due to thousands of tiny paper cuts -- a long, slow process of disappointments, resignations, grudges, annoyances, and hurts which caused Bob to turn away from his spouse instead of towards. As the paper cuts accumulate, they lead to stonewalling, contempt and disconnection. They lead to a dynamic in which there is no room for course correction. Despite their love for one another, the smallest hurt now leads to angry withdrawal. They give up out of self-protection, and resignation. They stop trying to connect because of the anticipated lack of connection — the rejection is just too painful. And nothing ever gets resolved or improved. Their dance of numb survival continues.
Unfortunately, this hurt and anger didn’t leave Bob when he went to work. It packed a bag and went with him. And it made itself known as irritation and impatience with those he managed. It slowly eroded his social capital within his firm. He lost trust. He began to manage out of fear and intimidation. And his employees began to leave his company, because, employees don’t leave companies, they leave managers.
So I taught Bob. I taught him scientifically proven tools to improve his communication with his wife, his sons, his employees. I began to teach him how to motivate others positively rather than negatively. I taught him how to master his own mind — thoughts and emotions. We developed a plan for a positive future so he has goals and a vision to look forward to — both personally and professionally. I taught him about forgiveness as the way to let go of those past hurts and disappointments. He learned about passion, positive emotions, and awareness. He became more realistically optimistic, and as a result less pessimistic and less depressive and irritable. Now he no longer is at the mercy of his anger, his fear, or his hurt. He is happier at home and at work. He enjoys life again.
Clients come to me because they want positive, sustainable change — at home and at work. You need happiness, purpose, and satisfaction at home AND at work for a truly contented and satisfying life. Give me a call at (925) 575-0258 or email DrJohn@GuideToSelf.com to discover your peak performance.
