Dezaree Finch

04/03/2025

09/20/2024

Who do you get to be when you choose yourself?

This is the question I asked myself when I entered my 50s.

The self knocking on my door now, can’t be ignored or persuaded to go away.

The self we were born with.

The self who has come to this life to express ITSELF.

But we were busy surviving, fighting battles.

We had to age a little, we had to wise up some more before we realized who was really knocking on our door.

When you open the door to your SELF later in life you can actually understand the significance of that knock.

It’s not just you being selfish or needy.

You can no longer allow for the noise to drown out your own VOICE.

Numbing out is not enough.

It wasn’t for me.

Even though you get used to surviving.

You actually convince yourself that it is ‘not so bad….others have it worse.’

‘Who are you to complain?’

‘Who are you to ask for more?’

But if it’s not you who will ask for more, for better, who will?

It takes courage to ask for something for yourself.

It takes a deep breath as you open that door and let yourself in for the first time.

Because when you do, you are also saying goodbye to ‘a good enough life.’

One that you worked so hard to build.

And why so many of us never ever open that door.

As I am walking out with my own Original Self I really can’t leave you behind.

I can’t not tell you how it was all worth it.

I have to find a way to convince you that even though the road to here is a long one, it is the only road that leads you back to yourself.

When I was writing Invisible Loss it felt like a long LETTER to you.

A letter with directions. So you too can find this road.

This road is off the beaten path.

Hidden by the overgrown vegetation.

You have to go digging.

YOU HAVE TO REALLY WANT IT.

Exactly one year ago I finished the final manuscript of Invisible Loss.

I was exhausted, overweight and overwhelmed. I made a promise to myself.

When I open the DOOR this time round, I was going to walk out with myself once and for all.

And I did. I really did.

I am walking on a completely new ground, and why I had to stop and tell you all about it.

Keep hearing the knock on your door.

One day you too will walk out. I know you will.

Christina
www.invisiblelossbook.com

08/01/2024

We should no longer have anyone in our life that we feel like we have to make them like us.

That every time we see them we have to work so hard to look good, say the right words and keep up with their journey.

These people we feel we have to impress are not supposed to be in our life.

I have to say it has indeed taken such a long time to get here but at long last I feel like the people in my life today are the right people.

I want the same for you.

I still wonder why it takes us so long to make the right choices when it comes to friendships and relationships.

The only answer I have arrived to is the one where Invisible Loss has a say.

We are so impacted by the loss of who we really are that we are forced to make relationship choices based on the Survivor Self. Certainly not based on our most precious Original Self.

But I am here to remind you and myself that who we truly are is never completely lost.

It has such an anchor deep within us. Waiting for us to come back. Reclaiming that OG with bells and whistles.

The way to reconnect and integrate back with your Original Self has many steps. And why I wrote a whole book about it.

But one easy and simple step is to start speaking like yourself.

If not speaking, then writing like yourself.

Grab your pen and any kind of paper and just write yourself down. Write like you mean it. Write like you would sound if you spoke your truth.

I want this for you so very much.

With love
Christina
PS. Keep reading Invisible Loss. Keep working your way through the exercises and the map I created for you. Thank you for your emails also telling me about your plug ins. I love hearing from you.

Invisible Loss: Recognizing and Healing the Unacknowledged Heartbreak of Everyday Grief https://a.co/d/bLeIu3u

07/30/2024

Loved being reminded by my daughter that today was Friendship Day & the importance of friends. Happy Friendship Day!
https://anxiety.org.nz/resources/friendships-and-the-importance-of-maintaining-them #:~:text=In%20fact%2C%20studies%20have%20shown%20that%20being,can%20help%20us%20make%20better%20life%20decisions.

11/21/2020

https://www.crisistextline.org/

Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. We're here for everything: anxiety, depression, su***de, school. Text HOME to 741741.

11/05/2020

There's some helpful links in this article too.

The 2020 U.S. Election brings uncertainty to many during an already uncertain time. Here are five ways to deal with the increased stress.

10/20/2020

Hannah Lucas created 'NotOK' app which allows users to quickly ask for help

10/10/2020

Good Book:

10/08/2020

Lots of drama/negativity on your social media? Check out this article with 7 steps:

7 Ways to Keep Drama off 📵 Your Social Media Account for a Happier 🙂 Place to Stay Connected 📲 ... By Alison Bryant Dec 04, 2016 {{likes_count}} likes {{comments_count}} comments · 993 likes 2 comments How many times have you seen a drama blow up on social media? It happens all th...

09/26/2020

Wow, I am so happy to report that I have finally been able to login into my FB account after 3 months! How's everyone doing? During this time, I have moved to a lovely, more professional, accessible, and larger location. Check out this video: