Anna Gonowon Coaching

05/28/2025

What’s getting in the way of you living a life full of happiness, peace, and healthy love? Is it possible to have such a life when your most intimate relationships are painful and involve hurting you, isolating you, and making you feel worthless? How do you break free of painful relationships?

Recently, one of my clients made the huge decision to finally leave and block her ex after going back to him multiple times. After our session, she wrote the above and stored it on her phone, so that she’d see it whenever reconnection crossed her mind.

The heartbreak from a breakup is tremendously painful, because, while the breakup happened for a reason, most relationships have a complex mix of positives and negatives. Very rarely do you find a person who chooses to be in a romantic relationship and simultaneously expects that relationship to end with tears and grief.

Because all of our personal relationships, not just our romantic ones, are complex, it is naturally very difficult to 1) have clean or smooth endings, 2) commit to moving on and forward without even a glance back, and 3) at least seriously consider repair (ie, being friendly, being on good terms, supporting each other) or reconciliation multiple times. A significant number of my romantic reconnection clients are, in the moment, often determined to try multiple times, give multiple chances for repair, and hope for reconciliation.

Even though I have the highest romantic reconciliation coaching rate in the world, I stress to all of my clients that just because you CAN get an ex back (or are maximizing your chances of getting an ex back) doesn’t mean you SHOULD reconnect or that the person is the healthiest, happiest, most loving choice for you.

04/21/2024

Recently, I was on the podcast 1 of My Stories (1ofmystories.com), hosted by my lovely friend Lindsey Dunn. We discussed mental health, the Asian diaspora, the general attitude of Asian cultures towards mental wellness, and the nuances of this beautiful, Oscar-nominated film. Check out Lindsey's podcast today!

https://www.1ofmystories.com/2024/04/perfect-days-film-talk-with-life-coach.html

Koji Yakusho as HIRAYAMA, Kisuke Shimazaki as LOST BOY In this special episode, we learn what happens when a life coach and a film critic ge...

11/13/2023

"Do you think you could help me with this?"

"Your opinion is really valuable to me."

"I care what you think about this, mom."

Preparing for the holidays doesn't always mean planning the meal, buying the groceries, or organizing games and festivities.

Sometimes, preparing for the holidays means preparing to have those difficult conversations with loved ones.

And oftentimes, those loved ones are your parents.

If you're fretting about the holidays, know that you're not alone.

And if you're in a place where you feel ready to have those tough conversations with your parent, save this to help guide you along the way. ❤️

10/25/2023

I get asked this question A LOT.

In general, my clients typcially fall into one of two groups.

1) They're in a relationship with an avoidant
2) They are an avoidant in a relationship (or avoiding getting into one)

If you're in the former category, it can often feel like you're at a permanent impasse, where no matter what you say or do, you're met with resistance from your partner.

If that's you, some of these questions may sound familiar. If they do, know you're not alone and that learning more about your partner's attachment style can only help you better understand how they might navigate conflict and your role in the relationship.

10/20/2023

We don't all have the same hours in a day.

For some of us, 24 hours =/= 24 hours.

For some of us, 24 hours may feel like 24 minutes. While others of us may experience 24 hours like 24 weeks.

This is especially true when it comes to breakups. Knowing how you experience time after a breakup can help you better understand your healing process while also giving you the tools to understand your partner or ex’s needs, too.

You know where to swipe!

10/12/2023

In case you need to hear this today.

It's normal to cry about a past relationship years after it's ended.

Some of my clients have been coaching with me for years. Some of those clients originally came to me to help them heal from a breakup. As they've moved through their coaching, many clients have learned to find peace with their past relationships but are suprised when past feelings resurface.

It's normal to have feelings resurface years after a relationship has ended, even when you thought you were "over it."

In these instances, I remind my clients that emotions aren’t like a light switch. Just because a relationship ends, doesn’t mean your feelings about that person end with it.

Instead, I encourage clients to think of emotions more like a glacier moving.

As time passes, more of the glacier melts, just as your feelings may subside the more time you experience after the breakup.

It's important to remember that many other factors can also influence how you heal from a breakup such as how long were together with that person and how you handled the breakup in the immediate aftermath. These factors also influence how you might feel about the relationship years later.

So, remember these feelings are normal. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Allow yourself to have the feelings. Acknowledge them, and tell yourself that you will be okay.

09/28/2023

A lot of resources and time have been spent on trying to understand WHY people cheat.

I could share so much from my own personal experience and experience as a connection coach that sheds light on the who, what, where, and why of infidelity.

I have coached clients who have cheated and who have been cheated on. As someone who has done both, I want to share two common misconceptions about cheating that most of my clients have needed to hear as they work through this personal challenge.

MISCONCEPTION #1:
The person that was cheated on did something wrong.

Cheating is rarely, if ever, about the person who was cheated on. Most of the time, people cheat because they struggle with their sense of self.

This might look like struggling with self-worth, self-esteem, self-trust, or other insecurities including financial stability and emotional maturity.

MISCONCEPTION #2:
Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Scientifically and personally, this is just plain false.

I’ve coached hundreds of people who admit to being unfaithful and want to change, and, together, found great success.

Plus...

The narrative of “once a cheater, always a cheater,” assumes that people are incapable of change.

Which we know just isn't true. I speak from personal and professional experience!

We are evolving creatures who change our minds constantly about things as minor as our favorite foods to as major as our career choices.

While infidelity can’t be healed on a whim, it is something that people -- both those who cheat and those who are cheated on -- can heal from and move beyond.

09/12/2023

The no contact period isn't just popular advice. It's a science-backed practice that can actually help you recover from a breakup, and if you desire, help you build a better relationship with your ex.

SHARE this with someone you know who may be struggling with the no contact period and could benefit from these reminders. If that person is you, swipe to see some of the tips and practices my own clients have implemented during the no contact period with great success.

What others would you add to this list?

09/07/2023

Are you curious about how your attachment style influences your reactions in relationships?

Discovering your attachment style can be a game-changer in understanding how you relate to others.

Because our attachment styles are often influenced by our levels of self-worth and interpersonal trust, knowing how we react to conflict at present can help us improve our relationships moving forward.

To get a sense of your attachment style, consider the following questions:

❓ How do you feel if your partner doesn't respond to you right away?
❓ Do you worry that your partner will leave you?
❓ What do you do when your partner is upset?
❓ What do you do when you are upset with you partner?
❓ How do you react when you experience conflict with people you are close to?