Mainspring Counseling and Training Services, LLC

05/13/2025

12/31/2024

Step IV: Tell a Different Story

If you are still listening {reading}, I commend you. I would have tapped out a long time ago. Working through the four steps is not always the easiest thing. On some level, it points out you have a more discipline than most.

Ok, here’s Part 4:
The person you hear the most is you. To reinforce your intention and replace old, limiting thought patterns, this step focuses on consistently engaging with your new narrative. Yes, goals are great! More importantly, it’s the intention statement translated into how you think about yourself and how you see the world. You got to live, breathe and eat that thing.

1. Revisit Your Intention Daily
Commit to reading, speaking, or writing your intention statement every day.
Pair this with an existing habit for consistency.
For example:
Mirror Practice: Place your intention on your bathroom mirror and read it out loud while brushing your teeth.
Morning Routine: Write it in your journal as part of a gratitude or reflection practice.

2. Create Multiple Points of Engagement
Immerse yourself in your intention through different mediums:
Sticky Notes: Place reminders in your workspace, car, or near your bed.
Audio Note: Record yourself reading your intention statement and play it during your commute or workout.
Screensaver: Design a digital version for your phone or computer wallpaper.
Wear It: Turn your intention into a T-shirt or keychain as a daily visual cue.

3. Living the New Story:
Begin saving intentionally, each contribution reminding you of the pride and freedom you’ll feel.
Celebrate small milestones, like setting up your savings account or researching car models.
Visualize yourself in the car, embodying the discipline and success it represents.
By embedding this new narrative into daily life, you replace old patterns with a positive, intentional story that keeps you engaged in the experience of growth.

12/30/2024

Tips for Self-Kindness and Belonging to Self

Speak the Words You Need to Hear
If there are words left unspoken, speak them to yourself. Affirm your worth, forgive your mistakes, and express gratitude for the lessons you’ve learned. You are deserving of the same kindness you would offer a dear friend.

12/25/2024

Part III: Set an Intention

Now that you’ve clarified your “why” in the previous step, let’s move to the second part: the experience. This is my favorite part. When we combine your “why” with the experience you want to have, it forms the basis of a healthy intention statement. In some practices, this is also referred to as a manifestation.

Why Focus on the Experience?
Many goals focus solely on outcomes—what the achievement will allow you to do—but neglect the emotional experience tied to it. By tuning into the internal joy or fulfillment that achieving your goal will bring, you create a vision that is personally meaningful and motivating.

Let’s use the example of buying car. When I was younger and a little less gray and bald and bald, buying a car was about “They-esteem”; how people would view and value me. Let’s look at the same example using your ‘Why’ and ‘Experience’.

Example: Buying a New Car
Clarify the Why
You might say, “I want to buy a new car because I value independence and enjoy the freedom of driving something that reflects my hard work.”

Next, ask yourself: Am I willing to do the work to save and buy this car regardless of what others think or say?
If the answer is yes, move to the experience.

Visualize the Experience
Don’t just think about what the car enables (e.g., driving to work). Instead, immerse yourself in the experience of owning it. These are the moments of joy and self-validation that make your intention sustainable

Imagine the fresh leather scent and the satisfaction of keeping it pristine after a car wash.
Feel the joy walking out to your car, feeling confident.
Hear the bassline of your favorite song as you cruise, embracing the luxury of what you’ve achieved.
Envision the pride of knowing your discipline and hard work made this a reality.

An intention combines your ‘why’ with the envisioned ‘experience’. It is deeply personal and emotionally resonant. For example:
“I will work towards buying my car because I deserve the freedom and joy it brings. I see myself savoring the little details—smelling the leather, polishing the wheels, and feeling the pride of knowing I’ve earned this through my discipline.”

12/23/2024

Tips for Self-Kindness and Belonging to Self

Create Your Own Belonging
Belonging isn’t just about connection with others—it’s about feeling at home within yourself. Practice self-belonging by carving out quiet moments to listen to your thoughts and feelings. Journaling, meditating, or simply sitting with your emotions can help you reconnect with your inner self.

12/22/2024

I’ve identified another reason why goals often fail: people rarely acknowledge the connection between their goals and external validation. I like to frame external validation as “They-esteem” vs “Self-esteem”.

At our core, we all seek what I call the Big Three: to be heard, to be valued, and to belong.

These desires are deeply tied to our relationship with ourselves—how we take the time to truly hear, value, and create a sense of belonging within. However, when we externalize these needs, they shift into something else: to be praised, to be validated, and to be accepted.

When our “why” becomes more about what others think of us, we hand over control of our motivation. In essence, we “turn over the publishing rights to our story.” This creates a fragile foundation for pursuing goals.

The moment we realize that others aren’t cheering us on, acknowledging our efforts, or validating our achievements, the drive to keep going often fades. In other words, external validation becomes the fuel—and when that fuel runs out, so does the motivation to continue.

This step is about telling the truth: Why do you really want to pursue this goal?

Step 1: To ensure your goal is intrinsically motivated, write it down.

Step 2: Ask the question: “Am I willing to do the work regardless of what another person says or does?”

This reflection ensures your “why” is centered on your own growth, joy, and fulfillment—not external applause.

(Follow us for Part III: Set an Intention)

12/19/2024

Tips for Self-Kindness and Belonging to Self

Start with Compassionate Reflection

Instead of dwelling on what wasn’t said or done, gently ask yourself: What did I do well this year? Celebrate the small wins and moments where you showed up, even if imperfectly. Self-kindness begins by acknowledging your efforts without judgment.

12/18/2024

Thank you for the question. We’re going to let this cook... well slow slimmer and bring it to a boil. I’ll break my response into 4 parts. You know I love a 4-part breakdown.
Just about everything I do, I follow these 4 steps:

Get an Understanding
Tell the Truth
Set an Intention
Tell a Different Story

So, yes. I do think New Year’s Resolutions work. What may be difficult or hard to understand is that most resolutions fail by February. They fail by February due to overly ambitious goals, lack of clear planning, and insufficient readiness to make sustainable changes.

Listen, I want you to be success. I want to be successful. Sometimes it’s not a matter of do you want it enough. It’s more about do you have the right process that works for you. This is a self-kindness approach.

You will hear therapists and coaches say the same thing: setting small, measurable goals, tracking progress, and using accountability mechanisms like sharing goals with friends or using tools to stay on track. And yes, this is helpful, but it’s not all the story.

Here’s what they may not tell you. The key to sustainable, long-lasting change is understanding your ‘Why’ and desired experience.

First, let’s talk about step 2, Tell the Truth.
(Follow us for Part II: Tell the Truth)

12/16/2024

As you seek belonging outwardly, don’t forget to nurture the one relationship that lasts a lifetime—the one with yourself. Self-kindness is the key to feeling truly at home, no matter where the season takes you.

12/01/2024

World AIDS Day: Celebrating Resilience, Hope & Progress

Today, we honor the strength and courage of those affected by HIV/AIDS while celebrating the incredible strides made in prevention and care.

This is a day to recognize resilience and the power of biomedical advances, compassion, and collective action.

💡 Self-kindness fuels progress:

✨ Celebrate your courage and growth.
✨ Speak words of hope to yourself and others.
✨ Acknowledge that seeking care is a brave step.

Take Action for Change:

💖 Learn about life-saving biomedical advancements like PrEP, PEP, and antiretroviral therapy (ART).
💖 Support access to testing and care for everyone.
💖 Share awareness to fight stigma and promote prevention.

Together, we can work toward an HIV-free future, grounded in love, knowledge, and solidarity. 🌍 Let’s build a world where resilience shines and no one is left behind.

11/14/2024

“Dancing for Self-Kindness”

Dancing is one of the most freeing forms of self-kindness! It’s a moment to connect with your body, let go, and simply be.

Today, we invite you to dance like it’s a love letter to yourself. What’s one feeling you want to embody while you dance? Comment below!

11/13/2024

🌟 Happy World Kindness Day! 🌟

Did you know that World Kindness Day was first introduced in 1998 by the World Kindness Movement to highlight the importance of kindness in our daily lives? 🌍💚

This day, celebrated every year on November 13th, encourages people across the globe to pause and reflect on the power of kindness. Whether it’s a smile to a stranger, a helping hand to someone in need, or a moment of self-kindness—these small actions ripple out, creating a more caring world. 💫

At Mainspring, we believe that kindness starts from within. How we treat ourselves directly impacts how we treat others. Let’s celebrate today by spreading love, self-kindness, and understanding, knowing that every act of kindness leaves the world a little brighter. ✨