08/24/2024
Summer = when my kids grow like wildflowers. Shoes that fit Memorial Day weekend no longer fit. Something about sunshine + climbing + splashing (and in my kids’ case, a daily dose of popsicles and corn) just makes em explode. They’re taller for sure, but it’s the subtle changes that remind me we’re entering big kid mode: fewer tantrums these days (though trust me they still happen & that’s a-ok because growing up is hard), no one follows me into the bathroom anymore, & somehow dressing up in ball gowns + dragon wings while “cooking” in the play kitchen has become a thing of the past. And I’m honestly not sure when that happened, but it was both a long time ago and a second ago.
Being off call last week gave me a second to breathe and notice these quiet markers of change in my kids and how much I’ve grown, too. It was a very intense and wild summer on call, y’all. I attended some of the most curious births I’ve ever experienced as a doula. Two NICU rosebuds, a precipitous birth after a huge oxytocin surge that came from tucking her kids in bed over the phone from the hospital, the heftiest rosebud on record after 42 weeks cozy in the womb, the teenciest rosebud on record who showed us her fightin’ spirit right away, a rosebud whose mama went rock climbing that morning because she didn’t think there was any way those sensations were actual contractions, and a mama of three -who was experiencing some heavy duty preeclampsia symptoms- smile and announce, “How soon can we bring the kids in here? I really like my kids. I’m glad we made another one.” I’m so grateful to witness such strength and beauty and moments of solemnity with new parents, to be welcomed into such a vulnerable space, & to build lasting relationships with my clients. This work of story-holding and witnessing can also be hard on my heart. I love the s**t out of my clients. I care for them so much.
I eventually learned this summer to slow the F down & refill my cup however the hell I can (horseys! Joining the Y!). I also made a rule for myself to only accept clients I vibe with, and doing less is actually doing much more.
Thank goodness for the sun and for this beautiful season of growth 💐
