Abby Gagerman, LCSW at AEG Wellness, LLC

05/20/2025

Sharing this specifically for Dads of teen daughters who have been struggling with "attitude", "disrespect", "defiance", or any other parenting conflict with these young women in their lives:
"For Dads In Conflict with Teen Daughters"

Dads of Teenage Daughters:

03/10/2025

Do you have a child who is in their early 20s right now? This might be helpful …

“Enjoy your 20s. I wish I could go back!”

02/14/2025

If you’re having conflicts with your teen- consider this, please!

A common complaint that many of my teen clients have is that when they are struggling, instead of trying to help them, their parents get angry with them and yell or punish them. While many of us were raised with parentin...

12/23/2024

For many who suffer during this time of year, it comes down to this:
The holidays are a time when what life is supposed to look like and what life actually is bump up against each other and show us how different they really are.

If you experience this, what can you do about it? Try this strategy this year:
1. Notice what it is you think your life should look like.
2. Ask (and answer) yourself WHY you think it should look that way. Where did you get the picture in your head from?
3. Look at your life through the lens of someone else, perhaps someone’s life whose you wouldn’t want and describe (not judge) what you see.
4. Change what is within your control. Even if it will p**s people off. You matter too.
5. What you can’t change, accept. Accept your reality. Accept your truth. Breathe in, breathe out. The holidays don’t have to be amazing or perfect or even pleasant. They just have to be. Try to release the tight hold you have on your narrative about what the holidays should be like. And remember, this is temporary. It will be January next week.

12/23/2024

12/11/2024

I absolutely loved being a part of this episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us with The Coach Chronicles’ brilliant and bright light, Leslie Randolph. ❤️❤️❤️

There is nothing harder than watching your kid suffer. And there is no greater suffering in the eyes of a tween or teen than feeling excluded, unwanted, or altogether dropped and discarded.

The need to belong is hardwired into our brains. It is part of our biology and critical for our survival. Never does that feel more dire than those tumultuous tween and teen years when their brains are still very much under construction.

At this age and stage, they believe getting dropped or not being a part of the group is actually dangerous and a threat to their existence.

As a self-confidence coach for teens and the mom of two tweens, I know logically this isn't true but I also know that when it's happening to you or your kid, that logic is sometimes hard to find.

I also know I'm not alone with this struggle.

The majority of calls I get from moms about confidence coaching are in response to the social struggles their tween or teen is facing. They don't know what to say or what to do to help their teen through it with their self-confidence and self-worth in tact.

To help me tackle the topic of Tween & Teen Social Struggles, I invited my friend and colleague Abby Gagerman, LCSW at AEG Wellness, LLC to the show.

In this episode, Abby helps us unpack the phenomenon of getting dropped, both why it happens and what we as parents can do. She helps us differentiate between the desire to fit in and the need to belong, and the toll that can take on teens.

Abby offers us practical and actionable tips to help our tweens and teens through this struggle and shares what we as parents MUST do to best support our kids.

​This episode is must-listen for moms of tweens or teens. Click the link in comments to tune in today.

09/07/2024

I love this because It captures the idea that once we’ve recognized that we don’t exist for the benefit of others, that we’re not responsible for other people’s emotions, and most importantly, we can’t control anyone else, even what they think of us, we become free. And in that freedom we finally become the amazing person we were meant to be. And it’s fu***ng fantastic. No one else’s opinion matters. And it never has.

08/03/2024

Love is not transactional. When we really allow ourselves to love someone, this means accepting them the way they are. It means not controlling them or their actions. It means knowing what’s in their heart. Boundaries are important for all of us, and we set them by acting in line with our values, but we can’t control what others do, and we must accept that. Even if it’s our partner. Even if it’s our child. Letting go of control is the path to peace.

07/20/2024

When people we love, especially our children, do things or say things we wouldn’t, things that we think are wrong or dangerous or harmful, we often respond with judgement. “How could you?” “I don’t understand you.” “That’s a bad person.” When we notice this, it’s helpful in our relationships and for our own peace for us to respond instead with curiosity. Think to yourself, “I’m human. They’re human. What would have had to happen to me to lead to that action/belief/mindset?” If you really think about an answer to that, with truth and not judgement or bias, you’ll understand their why. And it’s never “because they’re a bad person”. , ,

07/13/2024

I love this. We often don’t know what to do or say when someone we love is in pain, especially our children. So we lean into trying to fix it or trying to “bright side” it by using the language, “at least”. Next time someone you love is in pain, regardless of the cause of that pain, try just being with them in it and not saying anything. Show them you could hold that pain with them. This is everything, especially for our children who need to learn how to accept their pain. , ,

06/22/2024

Something my teen clients always complain about: when their parents say to them, “what happened to my sweet little child?” This really upsets them because it implies that they’re doing something wrong by just growing up. We aren’t meant to be sweet little children forever. We are supposed to challenge, to push back, to change. What happened to your sweet little child? They weren’t frozen in time. Think about what that would mean if they were.

Instead of expressing this thought- whether you’re just thinking out loud or whether you’re intentionally trying to guilt your teen into compliance- pause. Step back. Enjoy that your child is alive. That they’re able to grow up. Stop controlling them. Just watch and be there. Hold the guiding light. Let them figure it out while you’re still there to catch them.

05/25/2024

I’ve been talking a lot lately with my clients about not making ourselves smaller. So many of us were raised around the idea that it’s our responsibility to make everyone else comfortable or happy. Except that this often comes with putting our own needs last. We are told this is being “selfless” or “nice”. But no one ever told us that by being so very selfless and so very nice, we are making ourselves so small that we don’t live our authentic lives. And then we wonder why we feel so low, so tired, so very unhappy. It’s time we end this intergenerational curse. Next time you notice yourself making yourself smaller, try something different. Advocate for yourself. Say no. Express your feelings. Express your opinions. And if you’re “too much” for the person you’re talking to? Let them go find less.