Dr Colette Lord: Trauma Therapist

12/06/2025

12/05/2025

Food for thought.

11/28/2025

The window of tolerance is the range in which we as humans are able to function most effectively.

When we are in this window, we are able to take in information and utilize it, responding to the needs and demands of our day-to-day lives.

This window is regulated by the ventral vagal portion of our parasympathetic nervous system. In the window of tolerance, we are able to socially engage and we feel safe and connected to others.

The physical signs of being in your window of tolerance are:
* Digestion & immune systems are functioning
* engagement in eye contact
* heart rate & blood pressure regulated
* circulation in non-vital organs
* normal breathing

The mental signs of being in your window of tolerance are:
* able to tolerate stress
* able to self-soothe
* able to be curious & engaged
*able to be curious & engaged
* able to connect with others
* in the present moment
* grounded
* calm & regulated
* managing stressors effectively

Want to widen your window of tolerance so that you have more capacity to deal with day-to-day stressors without going into overwhelm or shut down? Then here are just a handful of skills to explore and practice that will help expand your window of tolerance:
🧘‍♀️Mindfulness
🏃‍♀️Exercise, yoga
🫁Breathwork
🎨Art therapy
📝Talk/journal about feelings
💆‍♀️Take care of your health
🙏Spiritual or religious activities
💭Visualization exercises
🛠️DBT skills
🙆‍♀️Somatic therapies
🦮Animals
🎗️Support groups
🧸Inner child work
🎵Music
🥰Practice self-compassion
🩺Biofeedback
🧎‍♀️‍➡️Progressive muscle relaxation

Stay tuned for future posts where I will discuss signs of hypo- and hyper-arousal as well as coping skills useful in both states.

11/26/2025

Sadie is wishing her tote was full of trainings from Precision EMDR Academy. If only she knew that there is a sitewide sale going on now for all the advanced trainings we offer, including my training on working with DID.

Head on over to www.PrecisionEMDR.com or check out the link in my bio.

Use coupon code BFCM20 for 20% today!

11/26/2025

It’s that time of year when you may be looking to purchse trainings. Over at Precision EMDR Academy we are having a site wide sale on all of our advanced EMDR courses with promo code BFCM20 for 20% off!

This includes my training on working with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

All of the advanced trainings are grounded in the AIP model and in a thorough understanding and care for developmental and attachment trauma. Check out the link in my bio or follow the link on the Screen.

You can also check out for more info on the full range of offerings!

11/24/2025

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID/OSDD) is a diagnosis that consists of these types of symptoms:

🧠Memory problems
🧠Disremembered actions
🧠Trance
🧠Depersonalization
🧠 Derealization
🧠Somatoform symptoms
🧠Manifestation of self-states

Memory problems involve memory loss that's more severe than normal forgetfulness.

An inability to recall large parts of childhood and/or losing time in the present.

Disremembered actions are when a person finds evidence of actions they must’ve taken but have no memory of having done those things.

May find new clothes in the closet, writing or artwork they don't remember creating, etc.

Trance symptoms are an involuntary escape from reality.

May look like going away in their mind when something upsetting happens or staring off into space, losing awareness of what's happening around them.

Depersonalization symptoms involve a sense of detachment from self.

May watch themselves as if the’re another person or feeling detached from themselves.

Derealization symptoms involve a sense of detachment from the people/things.

Perceptions may change with the world being seen through ,fog or their sense of time may slow down or sped up.

Somatoform symptoms involve experiencing physical symptoms that have no medical cause.

May have pain or seizures for no known reason, changes in their ability to walk or see, or having no feeling in their body for no known reason.

The most well-known symptom of DID is the manifestation of self-states in DID, when there is a sense of having independent or separate sides/parts of self.

May be experienced as hearing voices that correspond to these different sides or feeling like one changes from being an adult to a child or teen.

There's a lot of myths & misconceptions about the diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder & those who carry the diagnosis.

And if you are an EMDR therapist interested in learning more about recognizing DID and working with it, check out the link in my bio.

11/21/2025

Holiday reminders:

Do not pressure, harass, questions, or judge those who choose not to have contact with their family.

This is typically an incredibly painful choice they've had to make.

It is already going to be difficult enough to manage the holidays without getting grief from others.

It is not too much to expect family to use your correct name and/or pronouns

It is not too much to expect your partner to be accepted and treated with respect

It is not too much to expect to not have your weight or what you eat commented on or critiqued

You get to decide who you hug or talk to

Bring items that can help you ground or soothe yourself

Remember you can leave at any time, not matter what your family thinks

You don't have to be with your family if it is harmful for you, you have a choice

Don't expect to heal old wounds or for your family to have changed

11/20/2025

My heart goes out to all sexual abuse survivors struggling right now with the constant new about the Epstein files. You all deserve so much better!

11/19/2025

A common occurrence around the holidays when we return home, and are faced with our families, is that we find ourselves returning to ways of being and interacting that were more common when we were younger.

This can often include less healthy ways of communicating or handling our emotions.

Be kind and compassionate with yourself this holiday season if you recognize this happening.
This is not necessarily a sign you are regressing or reverting. Our families exert a strong pull to old, established patterns.

The more you can be aware of this, the more prepared you can be going into this situation and come up with a plan to protect and take care of yourself.

If you are in the process of figuring your gender or sexual identity and you know that your family will not be okay with it or will be toxic, to protect yourself it is perfectly okay to revert to presenting and acting as you did before.

Only you can know what is right, safe and healthy for you. You have every right to be seen and celebrate with people who affirm who you truly are. And only you know your family and if this can be done safely.

If you are returning to an abusive, toxic or neglectful home situation, this can pull for old ways of coping such as people pleasing or making yourself small.

It might pull for more aggressive ways of behaving or use of unhealthy coping (alcohol, drugs, self-harm, food, etc).

If you have a dissociative disorder, you may be triggered to disconnect from yourself or switch into parts of self that used to dominate when you were growing up.

Regardless, you can go in prepared, know what types of things might trigger you.

Look back at what has come up in the past, what’s been triggering and what other, healthy coping strategies you may have.

Are there people or subjects to avoid, ways to get a break, things you can bring to help you through?

Talk to your therapist, talk to your partner, get support.

11/17/2025

Sadie stayed dry this weekend. Did you?

☔️🐾🌧️💜

11/15/2025

Window of Tolerance

This term was originally coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, to describe the optimal zone of arousal in which a person is able to function most effectively.

When you are in this zone you are able to effectively able to take in and process information and respond to the demands of everyday life without too much difficulty.

When we are outside this zone it is difficult to take in information, think rationally and make healthy decisions.

When a person is experiencing hyper-arousal, they are in a state of fight or flight. Their system is revved up and they may be experiencing anxiety/panic or anger, racing thoughts, and hypervigilance.

When a person is experiencing hypo-arousal, they are in a state of freeze. Their nervous system is in shut down and they may be experiencing emotional numbing, mind going blank, dissociation, or paralysis.

When there has been chronic traumatic experiences and stress our window of tolerance shrinks, so that it take less to throw us into hypo or hyper-arousal.

Therapy, self-care, mindfulness practices and yoga can all help widen the window of tolerance so that you can handle more without overwhelming your system.

11/14/2025

This week is Transgender Awareness Week, which culminates in Thursday’s Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR).

TDOR was established by trans advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith as a vigil to honor Rita Hester, a transgender woman who was killed in 1998.

This Day of Remembrance is when we remember the trans and gender diverse individuals lost to violence over the past year. As the visibility of trans folx has increased and the current administration has disproportionately targeted this community, so has the violence against them.

Participate in TDOR by attending or organizing a vigil on November 20 to honor all those whose lives were lost to anti-transgender violence this year.

It is so incredibly important that this week of awareness ends with the Day of Remembrance, because awareness and visibility without active protection of civil liberties, activism and action, leaves trans and non-binary folx more vulnerable.

I am tired of saying how each year has seen an unprecedented number of deaths of trans and gender diverse folx.

Visibility and awareness are important first steps, as lack of awareness leaves much too much room for misunderstandings, bias and prejudice. And our BIPOC trans women and femmes are the ones suffering.


It is well past time to demand justice for trans and gender diverse people in life and not just honor them in death.

It is time for those of us in positions of power and privilege to use those resources to up-lift others and fight for their rights and safety.