Robin Watts Mental Health Services of North Texas, PLLC

08/04/2025

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08/03/2025

08/03/2025

⚠️Handling betrayal trauma—especially when it comes from someone you trusted (e.g., a partner, parent, close friend, or spiritual leader)—is a complex and deeply personal process. It affects your sense of safety and your ability to regulate your emotions, often leading to symptoms similar to PTSD.

It's important to have self-compassion when healing from a relational rupture due to being misled or betrayed by someone you cared for (and may have thought cared for you).

Here are some steps that may be helpful to you as you travel this painful journey of recovery:

🔹 1. Acknowledge the Betrayal for What It Is:

Validate your feelings: Confusion, anger, grief, numbness, and disbelief are normal.

Don't minimize or rationalize the betrayal (e.g., “They didn’t mean to"…).

Instead, recognize the betrayal for what it is--a violation of trust, safety, and integrity.

🔹 2. Prioritize Safety and Stability:

Emotional trauma feels like a threat to your survival. Stabilization is key:

Create routines that feel predictable.

Limit or cut contact with the person who betrayed you (at least temporarily).

Get enough sleep, eat healthy food, and stay hydrated—your nervous system needs these to regulate.

🔹 3. Allow Yourself to Grieve:

Betrayal often includes the loss of a version of the person you thought you knew.

Let yourself mourn the loss of trust, the relationship as you knew it, or even your own self-concept (if your identity was tied to them).

You might cycle through grief stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance—and that’s okay...grief is not linear.

🔹 4. Name and Track the Trauma Responses--betrayal trauma can lead to:

Hypervigilance (constantly on edge and alert to threat)

Intrusive thoughts or nightmares

Numbing or dissociation

Low self-worth or shame

Compulsive checking (e.g., phones, emails, social media)

Relationship avoidance or over-attachment

Tracking these helps you understand that your reactions are not "crazy"—they are survival responses.

🔹 5. Reach Out for Support:

Look for a therapist trained and experienced in betrayal trauma, especially related to infidelity, narcissistic abuse, or childhood trauma.

Joint a support group. Betrayal is isolating, and knowing you’re not alone helps rebuild trust in humanity.

Seek the support of trusted friends or family members. Even one safe person can be a stabilizing force.

🔹 6. Reclaim Agency and Boundaries:

Set clear boundaries. Boundaries protect your peace--they are not punishment to the betrayer, although the betrayer may think you are trying to hurt them. You may need help learning what healthy boundaries look like.

Remind yourself that you didn’t cause this and you are not responsible for the behavior of others.

Explore self-compassion tools (like journaling, affirmations, or somatic exercises).

🔹 7. Choose Whether to Rebuild or Release the Relationship:

This decision comes AFTER STABILIZATION—not in the heat of trauma. In the heat of trauma, the brain is hijacked by feelings that prevent one from thinking logically.

Ask Yourself, "Can this person acknowledge the harm? Demonstrate authentic change?" (It's fairly easy to demonstrate fake change but inauthentic change is not sustainable)?

Forgiveness is optional and not required to heal. It’s okay to walk away. Walking away is often the path to healing.

🔹 8. Restore Inner Trust:

Betrayal often makes you second guess yourself. Betrayers are often exceptional at hiding the truth in ways that make you think you can't trust yourself anymore.

Healing involves rebuilding your internal compass, and reminding yourself to listen to your gut.

Reflect on moments you did sense something was off—this reaffirms your wisdom.

Take small, safe steps to rebuild confidence in your decisions.

🌿 And, remember, healing from a traumatic experience takes time.

Healing and grieving aren't linear, and don't happen quickly.

It’s okay if you:

Still think about it months later.

Need to cry again over the same memory.

Flip between hope and fury.

That’s not weakness—it’s part of the grief process.

It takes time to heal. It will likely be painful and slow, but it will be worth it. And, remember, "Discomfort is the price for growth."

07/26/2025

Ever wondered what happens when drama meets the law? Join us for a Court Demonstration where the objections are loud, the witnesses are confused, and the judge definitely didn’t sign up for this.

Watch us in the hot seat...

https://thetaff.com/events

07/24/2025

06/30/2025

Speak love. Speak life. Speak encouragement into your children—every chance you get. Your words have power. 💛

06/28/2025

I feel privileged to be among this outstanding group of emotionally intelligent professionals who value collaboration! 🤓

06/22/2025

Children who aren’t allowed to assert themselves often face a range of negative outcomes across emotional, social, cognitive, and even physical domains.

While each child’s experience is unique and shaped by many factors, the following are common outcomes associated with consistently being discouraged or punished for asserting themselves:

1. Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
• Children may begin to internalize the idea that their thoughts, feelings, or needs are unimportant.
• They can grow up feeling insecure, overly self-critical, or unworthy of respect or care.
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2. Difficulty Setting Boundaries
• Without the opportunity to practice saying “no” or expressing their preferences, children may struggle to establish personal boundaries later in life.
• This makes them more vulnerable to peer pressure, bullying, and even abusive relationships.
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3. Anxiety and Depression
• Constant suppression of feelings and autonomy can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, or depressive symptoms.
• They may develop perfectionistic tendencies or fear of making mistakes.
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4. Poor Communication and Social Skills
• These children may become passive in relationships, avoiding conflict at all costs.
• They might also struggle to speak up in groups, advocate for themselves at school or work, or form healthy friendships.
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5. Increased Risk of Rebellion or Passive Aggression
• Some children eventually rebel in adolescence, sometimes in risky or harmful ways.
• Others may express their frustration indirectly through passive-aggressive behavior or emotional withdrawal.
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6. Learned Helplessness
• When children are consistently discouraged from asserting themselves, they may develop a belief that their actions don’t matter or that they have no control over their lives.
• This mindset can limit achievement and resilience throughout life.
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7. Poor Decision-Making Skills
• A lack of practice in voicing opinions and making choices can impair critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
• These children may become overly dependent on others for guidance and validation.
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8. Struggles with Identity Formation
• Children who are not allowed to assert their preferences, interests, or values may grow up with a weak or unclear sense of self.
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9. Difficulty in Leadership or Assertive Roles
• As adults, one may find it challenging to take on leadership positions, advocate for others, or handle conflict constructively.
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Here are 4 ways children can be taught to be assertive, help them to develop confidence, learn how to set boundaries, and express themselves respectfully:
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🧠 1. Provide Social-Emotional Learning Opportunities
• Teach children self-awareness, empathy, emotional regulation, and communication skills - this builds core emotional skills that underpin assertiveness.
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🗣 2. Role-Playing
• Practice situations with children, like saying “no,” asking for help, or responding to peer pressure - this works because it builds neural memories/pathways for real-life situations. For example “What would you say if someone cut in line?”
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📚 3. Assertive Communication Skills Training
• Teach “I” Statements. For example, “I feel upset when you take my things without asking.”
• Boundary Setting: “I don’t like that. Please stop.”
• Refusal Skills: Saying “no” without aggression.
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🎯 4. Create Opportunities to Build Self-Esteem
• Assertiveness grows when children believe in themselves.
• Encourage independence.
• Avoid overprotection or excessive criticism.
• Create environments where children are encouraged to speak up.
• Mistakes are treated as learning opportunities.
• Respectful disagreement is modeled and rewarded.

01/26/2024

Anger is contagious.