Anna Buchanan Counseling PLLC -Individual and Couples Therapy

09/07/2025

Healing takes time — and sometimes, it takes change too.

Healing starts from the inside, but it often shows up in the small choices we make every day. You might want to take better care of yourself, set boundaries, or try new habits — but actually making those changes can feel uncomfortable or even scary.

That’s because after hard or traumatic experiences, your nervous system is wired to prioritize safety. Feeling stuck or afraid of change is completely normal.

The key is to start small. Tiny shifts add up. One small change, one supportive habit, one new way of caring for yourself — when you're ready.
If you're feeling anxious, depleted, or on edge, know that your body is responding to chronic stress. Even if you’re doing the basics (sleep, food, movement), it might help to try body-based practices that support your nervous system.

Things like humming, cold water on your face, gentle movement, shaking out tension, or breathing slowly with your hand on your chest can send your body a message that it’s safe. These small actions can make a big difference.

This isn’t a season for pushing — it’s a season for nervous system repair. Lower the bar. Rest more. Ask for help. Be kind to yourself.

The nervous system doesn’t heal through force; it heals through consistent messages of safety, gentleness, and slowness.

If talk therapy or trauma-informed support feels right for you, I offer complimentary consultations here:

https://anna-buchanan.clientsecure.me

09/05/2025

Ever feel like you and your partner are having the same argument on repeat?

Different topic, same fight... and somehow, it always ends with one of you feeling hurt, distant, or totally misunderstood?

That’s what we call a negative cycle, and it shows up in so many relationships, from new couples to those who’ve been together for years.

It’s not about who’s right or wrong, it’s about how you’re both trying (and struggling) to connect.

As a couples therapist certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), I help partners notice these patterns and get underneath them — where the real emotions and needs live.

Here are a few ways to spot your cycle:

You try to talk about something important, and it turns into a fight or shut-down.

One of you tends to get louder or more emotional; the other gets quiet or pulls away.
You both walk away feeling like the other person just doesn’t get it.

Even when you love each other, you end up feeling alone in the relationship.

Here’s a quick tip:

Next time things get tense, ask yourself:
What am I really feeling right now (under the frustration or anger)?

What do I need from my partner that I might be scared to ask for?

Are we fighting each other — or just caught in a pattern we both hate?

When you can recognize the cycle as the problem and not each other — that’s when things start to shift.

You’re not broken. Your relationship isn’t doomed. You’re just stuck in a pattern you can learn to change…together.

Curious about how EFT works or want to chat more about your relationship? Send me a message — I’d love to connect.

Couples, individual and family therapy offering Telehealth appointments. Paperwork can be filled out online. Online payments are accepted. Schedule an appointment today. Contact me at (720) 526-0664.

07/16/2025

Come see me at my new office. Accepting new clients for telehealth or in person visits.

https://anna-buchanan.clientsecure.me/

07/11/2025

Good evening. I wanted to share that I am now offering in person sessions in Monument, CO as well as telehealth. I am a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) certified in EFT for couples. I also work with individuals with developmental trauma, anxiety and depression.

I provide professional consulting to therapists working with couples.

Reach out for a complimentary consultation to chat about whether therapy with me is the right fit for you.

https://anna-buchanan.clientsecure.me/

06/22/2025

06/18/2025

Facts

06/03/2025

🌙 Sleepovers This Summer: What Are the Benefits & Risks? + Helpful Video for Parents 🎥

Hey moms! With summer right around the corner, our kids are getting more invitations for sleepovers — and some are asking to host them too. While sleepovers can be a fun part of childhood, they also come with some risks that are worth thinking through.

✅ The Benefits:

They build independence and confidence in kids
A great opportunity for deepening friendships
Teaches kids how to adapt to different family routines and expectations
Just plain FUN — late-night giggles, movie marathons, and memories that last!
⚠️ The Concerns:

Lack of supervision or unknown adults/older kids in the home
Different household rules or values
Exposure to inappropriate content (TV, internet, etc.)
Potential for bullying or peer pressure
Issues around sleep (some kids may feel anxiety, homesickness, or not get proper rest)
If you’re on the fence or just want to be intentional about your decision-making, I found this really helpful video that walks through how to decide if a sleepover is the right choice for your child, and what questions to ask the hosting family:

👉 https://youtu.be/Zr-KrCwHQNU

Some great questions the video suggests:

Who will be home during the sleepover?
What’s the plan for the evening?
How are devices and internet access handled?
Where will the kids be sleeping?
Let’s support each other by sharing any tips or red flags you look out for — or even some great sleepover success stories!

💬 What’s your family’s approach to sleepovers? Do you allow them, and if so, under what circumstances?

06/03/2025

🌙 Sleepovers This Summer: What Are the Benefits & Risks? + Helpful Video for Parents 🎥

Hey moms! With summer right around the corner, our kids are getting more invitations for sleepovers — and some are asking to host them too. While sleepovers can be a fun part of childhood, they also come with some risks that are worth thinking through.

✅ The Benefits:

They build independence and confidence in kids
A great opportunity for deepening friendships
Teaches kids how to adapt to different family routines and expectations
Just plain FUN — late-night giggles, movie marathons, and memories that last!

⚠️ The Concerns:

Lack of supervision or unknown adults/older kids in the home
Different household rules or values
Exposure to inappropriate content (TV, internet, etc.)

Potential for bullying or peer pressure
Issues around sleep (some kids may feel anxiety, homesickness, or not get proper rest)
If you’re on the fence or just want to be intentional about your decision-making, I found this really helpful video that walks through how to decide if a sleepover is the right choice for your child, and what questions to ask the hosting family:

👉 https://youtu.be/Zr-KrCwHQNU

Some great questions the video suggests:

Who will be home during the sleepover?
What’s the plan for the evening?
How are devices and internet access handled?
Where will the kids be sleeping?
Let’s support each other by sharing any tips or red flags you look out for — or even some great sleepover success stories!

Are sleepovers a rite of passage or a parental dilemma? 🛏️ Join ICP on CTV Morning Live as psychologist Tammy Schamuhn delves into the pros and cons of chil...

04/27/2025

Parenting food for thought

“Love is the medium, love is the message
We could say that touch is the medium and love is the message, but love is also a medium in the sense that it is the best soil for a child's growth.
Every heart is nurtured by love and opens as it accepts love. Being loved makes one more loving. It also helps create resilience.
Love is communicated not just through touch, but also by tone of voice, facial expression, re-sponsiveness, words, and quality of care. A child can feel how much (or how little) love is there.
When present, love informs other kinds of parenting behaviors like protection, encourage-ment, support, and guidance, and they are better received. The absence of love causes each of these to be experienced in a way that can make them a detriment rather than a help. For example, when love is absent, protective limits may be experienced as restrictive and unfair. When limits are set without love, a child may perceive such limits as a power trip. When encouragement is given but the child doesn't feel love, it may feel like pushing rather than supporting; the child may even feel that the parents want his or her success for their own glorification. Thus, without love, nothing works well, and with love even the clumsiest parenting can be forgiven.” (Cori, J-LPC)

04/20/2025

I saw this post today and I want to acknowledge how heart felt it is but also how it creates toxic shame for mothers. Please read below.

I don’t want a break from my kids.
I want a break from the noise.
From the messes I clean just for them to reappear.
From the laundry that multiplies faster than I can fold.
From the dishes stacked high and the to-do list that never stops growing.

But not from their tiny voices calling “Mama.”
Not from their little hands reaching for mine.
Not from the giggles or the chaos or the cuddles that ground me.

They are my peace in the storm.
They remind me what really matters.
They bring me back to the now when the world tries to pull me in a hundred different directions.

It’s everything else.
It’s never been motherhood that’s too much.

My response: This is so heartfelt and true—and it’s such a beautiful reflection of how deeply you love and value your role as a mother.

And still, it’s also okay to want a break for yourself.

Not because your children are too much, but because you matter, too.

Because your mind, your body, your heart—deserve rest and space to breathe.

Wanting to step away doesn’t mean you’re stepping out of motherhood.
It means you’re human.
And sometimes, even the most grounded hearts need time to recenter, to hear their own thoughts, to simply be.

You can hold gratitude for your babies and still hold space for yourself.
Both are true. Both are valid.
You don’t need to choose between them—you were never meant to.

03/31/2025

The negative cycle is the root of most relationship disconnection. Learn how small triggers escalate into big conflicts and uncover the emotional patterns underneath.