Depth Integration

11/13/2025

The greatest lesson Rooted Soul has taught me, and perhaps the most revolutionary, is that life itself is a ceremony. We don’t need a retreat in Ecuador or a sacred circle or a special place to connect with Spirit. We just need intention, presence, and the willingness to treat every moment as sacred.

For most of my life, I separated the spiritual from the ordinary. Healing happened in therapy sessions or on meditation cushions. Spirit was accessed during ceremonies or at yoga retreats. The rest of life was just... life. Mundane. Separate from the sacred.

Everything changes when you stop compartmentalizing your spiritual practice and begin treating your entire life as sacred ground.

Here’s the practice I share in Rooted Soul, the one that I’ve been doing every morning for the past three years:
>> Light a candle or touch something that feels sacred to you.
>> Take three deep breaths.
>> Ask, “How may I be of service today?”
>> Listen. Feel what arises.
>> Then give thanks.

This simple ritual, which takes less than five minutes, shifts how you meet the day. It moves you from reactivity to intentionality. It reminds you that you are participating in the unfolding of consciousness.

What I’ve discovered is that when every act becomes a ceremony, life stops feeling divided. Brushing your teeth becomes a ceremony of self-care. Walking becomes a ceremony of connection with the earth. Working becomes a ceremony of service. The ordinary becomes extraordinary simply because you’re present to it.

This is the revolution that Rooted Soul is inviting you into: not escape from life, but full engagement with it. Not transcendence of the body, but embodiment of the soul. Not separation from the sacred, but recognition that everything, every moment, every breath, every encounter, is already sacred.

You’re already home. You just have to remember it. Start tomorrow morning. Light a candle. Breathe. Ask. Listen. Give thanks.
And watch what changes.

Rooted Soul: Link in bio

11/11/2025

From Chapter 11 of Rooted Soul: The Me Turns into WE
“The Divine Feminine power of Kali liberated the toxic masculine energy within me. The Divine Feminine energy of Grandmother Ayahuasca held me, instilling in me the compassion to forgive, opening my heart to allow the Divine Masculine to flow in and expand into every cell. The Divine Feminine and Masculine weaving together activated a power within me I had not sensed before. The best way I can describe the sensation was a beam of radiance.”

Integration is not a moment where you suddenly “get it” and then you’re healed forever. Integration is the ongoing practice of bringing fragmented pieces of yourself back into wholeness, again and again, in deeper and deeper spirals.

For decades, I suppressed my power to be “nice.” I had chosen the feminine over the masculine because I associated the masculine with the men who had hurt me, judged me, abandoned me.

But what I discovered through sacred ceremony is that the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine are not gendered. They’re qualities of consciousness, of energy, of being. The Divine Masculine is protection, boundaries, strength. The Divine Feminine is flow, compassion, creativity, surrender. We need both.

Integration happened when I realized I could be both strong and soft, both powerful and open, both a giver and a receiver. When I wove the fierce protection of the Divine Masculine with the compassionate flow of the Divine Feminine.

This is what integration looks like: not the end of the journey, but the beginning of living as your full self. Not transcending the wounds, but including them. Not reaching some spiritual ideal, but showing up as your actual, messy, beautiful, powerful self in every moment.

We don’t have to choose one or the other. We just have to let love—fierce, protective, flowing, creative love—take up space in all directions. Get your copy today: link in bio

11/10/2025

11/07/2025

“When we heal something in ourselves it creates a flow back into time. It sends a healing impulse to our ancestors. And it sends a healing impulse to our culture.” —Thomas Hübl

I used to think healing was only personal. I believed that if I just worked on myself hard enough: enough therapy, enough breathwork, enough spiritual practice, I could fix myself and then move on. My healing was my responsibility, my burden, my private work.

But through years of ancestral work, family constellation therapy, shamanic ceremony, and work with sacred medicine, I began to see something far more expansive: we are not isolated beings working through isolated wounds. We are part of a lineage. We are part of a family system. We are part of a culture. And the patterns we carry are not entirely our own.

In one of my Family Constellations sessions in Ecuador, this truth became visceral. As I watched representatives of my family members take on the emotional burdens I’d been carrying. I saw clearly that I had been shouldering loads that weren’t mine to carry. I had been holding patterns that belonged to my ancestors. When I finally released that burden, literally handing it back to them, to the Universe, to be transmuted and healed, something shifted. Not just in me, but in the entire ancestral line.

When you face what your family couldn’t face, when you release what they couldn’t release, when you forgive what they couldn’t forgive, it sends a healing impulse backward through time. It says: I see you. I understand. I’m healing this for all of us.

This is ancestral healing. And it’s some of the most profound work I’ve done.

In Rooted Soul, I share how my personal journey became a healing gift not just to myself, but to my entire ancestral line. How the shame I released was my ancestors’ shame. How the forgiveness I found was their forgiveness. How my wholeness became their wholeness.

That’s the deeper magic of this work. That’s why individual healing matters so much.

11/04/2025

Conscious Breathing: The Practice That Rewired My Nervous System

Breath is the bridge between the body and the soul. For years, I didn’t realize I was breathing shallowly, keeping myself in a quiet state of vigilance. Growing up with unpredictability and danger, my nervous system had learned to stay alert, to anticipate threats, to never fully relax. My breath, shallow, high in the chest, was the physical manifestation of a mind that never felt safe.

When I began learning conscious breathing in my studies, it started sending a signal to my nervous system: You’re safe now. You can relax. You can receive. Conscious breathing is different. It’s an invitation to your entire system to stand down.

Here’s the practice I still use, the one that changed my life:
>> Place one hand on your belly.
>> Inhale slowly, letting your belly rise first.
>> Let your ribs expand, your shoulders stay relaxed.
>> Hold your breath for a couple counts
>> Exhale slowly, releasing down into the earth.
>> Repeat five times. Or ten. Or twenty. Your body will tell you when it has received enough.

This single practice done consistently, can recalibrate your entire nervous system. When I breathe this way, my heart rate drops. My thoughts slow down. My shoulders release. My jaw unclenches. My whole being softens.
The reason this works is rooted in neuroscience and ancient wisdom alike.

When we breathe into the diaphragm, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system, our “rest and digest” response. This signals safety to every cell in our body. Our muscles can relax. Our immune system can activate. Our emotions can flow without overwhelm. Our consciousness can expand.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that conscious breathing is the foundation for all other healing work. You cannot feel safe in your body while you pull your breath up. You cannot focus while your nervous system is in a state of threat. But when you breathe consciously, everything becomes possible.

Healing begins in moments like this, one breath at a time.

10/30/2025

When Your Father’s Spirit Teaches You About Love
“As I asked the medicine to help me connect with this energy, Bola sang an icaro called ‘Let Go into the Flow.’ My father appeared, encouraging me, ‘Son, embrace the Divine Masculine. Feel the support I could not fully give you.’ I relaxed deeply, letting go into this newfound sense of protection and love.”

Healing rarely arrives as we expect. Sometimes it comes through visions, voices, or ancestral presences that rewrite our understanding of love, support, and what’s possible. It can come through a shaman’s song, through the presence of a father we thought was lost, through realizing that support was never absent, only unseen.

For most of my life, I searched for the support of strong men. I shaped myself to earn it, worked overtime to deserve it, and gave everything hoping they’d finally show up for me. Yet nothing I did was enough. My father’s conditional love taught me that my worth depended on performance. His words echoed through me: “Who do you think you are, Big Time?”

In that sweat lodge in Ecuador, something shifted. The medicine opened a doorway, and my father’s spirit met me there, not as the limited man with wounds, but as something larger. His soul showed me what he couldn’t in life: that I am worthy as I am. That support is my birthright. That the Divine Masculine is about protection, strength in service, a steady presence whispering, “I have your back.”

That moment didn’t erase years of longing or loss, but it transformed my relationship to masculine energy. It was never about erasing the past. I reclaimed what was lost and discovered that love can transcend death itself.
This is the mystery Rooted Soul invites you into: that transformation is possible beyond logic. That those we think are gone are still near. That healing happens in dimensions we’re just beginning to remember.
From Chapter 5: My First Sacred Journey

Rooted Soul is available now: link in bio.

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10/27/2025

After decades of searching, healing, learning, and remembering, today, Rooted Soul: Weaving Sacred Threads and Conscious Embodiment into Oneness is officially out in the world.
This book is an invitation. An invitation to come home to your body. To remember that the sacred and the human were never separate. To trust that your story, no matter how fragmented, how painful, how shameful it feels, carries the map back to wholeness.
This is not a quick-fix self-help manual. This is not a linear narrative of triumph and recovery. This is the messy, beautiful, honest story of what it takes to truly inhabit your own flesh, to reclaim your power, and to serve something greater than yourself.
From the AIDS crisis in 1980s New York to the shamans of Ecuador and the mystical landscapes of England, this journey changed everything I thought I knew about healing, love, and spirit. It shattered my certainty and rebuilt my faith. It taught me that wholeness requires both descending into the depths of our wounds and ascending into the light of our potential.
What I’ve learned is this: your healing is never just personal. When you face what your family couldn’t face, when you release the pain your ancestors carried, when you reclaim the fragmented pieces of yourself, you send a ripple backward through generations and forward into the collective consciousness. Your individual awakening becomes humanity’s awakening.
If you’ve ever felt disconnected from yourself, if you’ve carried shame that didn’t belong to you, if you’ve longed to live more fully in your truth, if you’ve wondered whether healing is even possible—this book was written for you.
It’s the story of remembering what was never truly lost.

Get your copy today: link in bio

10/23/2025

There was a time when I wanted to hide every broken part of me. I thought healing meant erasing my pain, transcending my trauma, becoming someone untouched by what had happened to me. I believed that wholeness meant perfection—a smooth, polished, unblemished self.

But as the years unfolded and I moved through years of therapy, somatic work, and spiritual practice, I began to see that my deepest wounds had been doorways. The places where I was most broken were exactly where light began to shine through.

This doesn’t mean romanticizing pain or pretending trauma is good. It means recognizing that our willingness to face our wounds, to feel them fully, to integrate them—this is where transformation lives. Every time I turned toward the pain instead of away from it, every time I breathed into the places that hurt most, every time I allowed myself to grieve what was lost, I discovered something waiting on the other side: not the absence of pain, but the presence of light.

Through sacred plant medicines in Ecuador, I experienced the truth of Rumi’s words viscerally. Grandmother Ayahuasca didn’t take my pain away. Instead, she held me while I felt it completely. She showed me that my deepest wounds—the ones from childhood abuse, from watching friends die in the AIDS crisis, from decades of disconnection from my own body—could become sacred ground.

Breathwork showed me that blocked emotion isn’t stuck forever. When we breathe into it, when we move it through our bodies, when we give it voice and expression, it releases. And in that release, we find space. In that space, light enters.

In Rooted Soul, I share how even the darkest moments—the moments I thought would destroy me—became the very places where I finally found myself. Where I finally came home.

Your pain is not your failure. It’s your initiation. Launch day is only a few days away, October 27.

10/21/2025

There are days when I still forget that the earth is right here: steady, patient, holding me no matter what chaos is swirling above. There are mornings when my nervous system is dysregulated, my thoughts are spiraling, my anxiety is climbing, and I catch myself disconnected from the very ground beneath my feet.

That disconnection is where suffering lives. We spend our lives reaching upward, seeking answers, chasing transcendence, and meanwhile, we’re floating untethered, starved of the most basic nourishment: connection to the earth that sustains us.

For decades, I taught somatic practices without fully understanding this truth. I could guide people through breathwork and movement, help them release trapped emotion, but something was still missing. It wasn’t until I traveled to Ecuador and studied with indigenous shamans that I truly understood: we must be rooted to receive. We must be grounded to ascend.

One of the most profound teachings from Ecuadorian tradition is that personal healing is never separate from healing the earth. Every time we ground ourselves, we’re in relationship with Mother Earth. Every time we receive her support, we’re also offering our consciousness back to her. It’s a reciprocal exchange, a sacred dance of mutual nourishment.

Here’s the practice from Rooted Soul that I now teach in every session, every ceremony, every workshop:

Stand barefoot on the earth. Feel your feet spread wide and your weight drop down. Imagine roots extending deep into the soil. Then, lift your hands toward the sky and picture Source energy pouring through you, down your arms, through your body, into those roots below.

This is not about escaping the world or transcending the body, but about remembering that you belong to this earth, that she belongs to you, and that together you’re part of something far larger than your individual struggle.

When you’re grounded, you can receive. When you’re rooted, you can grow.

10/16/2025

“I lay on the treatment table, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. The room was dim. A gentle candle flame flickered from a table close to my feet. Doc Kim placed her hand gently on my abdomen just above my sacrum. I trembled as a tingling wave of fear overtook me. I gasped, struggling to breathe. Heavy, suffocating energy closed in on me, pushing my body into the table. I was transported to the early 1960s. I saw and felt a large hairy arm brushing forcefully over my mouth. I knew: This is terribly wrong. I wanted to scream. There was no one to hear me. I wanted to reach out, but no one was there to save me. Without words or understanding, I left my body.”

That moment when my body revealed what my mind had buried for decades, marked the beginning of my healing. Not because it was easy or comfortable, but because it revealed what I had been running from for my entire life.

Many of us leave our bodies without even realizing it. We dissociate in moments when life feels too painful, too loud, or too unsafe to stay. We fragment ourselves as a survival mechanism, and it works—until it doesn’t. Until we’re living half a life, present in the room but absent from ourselves, numb to both pain and joy.

But here’s what I learned: the body remembers. It carries both the wound and the wisdom. It holds the imprint of every touch, every word, every moment we weren’t held. Our nervous systems encode these experiences not as memories but as felt sense, stored in our muscles, our breath patterns, our posture, our very presence in the world.

Rooted Soul begins here, in the place where pain first became separation, and where healing begins with the radical act of coming home to ourselves. It’s the story of learning to inhabit my own flesh again—not as a problem to be solved, but as a sacred vessel to be honored.

If you’ve ever dissociated, if you’ve ever felt like you were watching your life from outside yourself, if you’ve ever wondered why your body doesn’t feel like home—this book is for you.

Rooted Soul launches October 27.

10/14/2025

For most of my life, I searched for something I thought I’d lost: peace, belonging, a sense of being truly at home in my own body. But as I moved through decades of therapy, somatic work, sacred ceremonies, and spiritual practice, I began to understand something fundamental: wholeness wasn’t something to find or fix. It had been there all along, quietly waiting beneath the noise, beneath the pain, beneath the layers of protection I’d built to survive.

We carry the imprint of every wound we’ve ever sustained—in our muscles, our fascia, our nervous systems, and our souls. We fragment ourselves piece by piece, leaving parts of ourselves behind in moments of danger, shame, or overwhelming feeling. I believed I was broken. But what if we’re not broken at all? What if we’re just... scattered?

Rooted Soul was born from the remembering that wholeness is our original state. It’s about coming back to the body—that sacred vessel we’ve been taught to distrust. It’s about reconnecting to the earth, to the truth that lives inside us when we stop running from ourselves. It’s about retrieving the fragmented pieces and integrating them back into a coherent whole.

This journey took me from the isolation of childhood trauma through decades of seeking, from the theater stages of New York City to the healing circles of Ecuador, from the depths of ancestral work to the mystical landscapes of England. What I discovered is that coming home to yourself isn’t a destination—it’s a practice, a daily commitment to living in alignment with your truth.

My hope with this book is that it invites you to remember too: that nothing essential was ever missing. You were never broken. You were never unworthy. You were only waiting to remember who you’ve always been.

Rooted Soul launches officially on October 27.

09/16/2025

Magical Cornwall, UK✨💜