LeBauer Counseling

06/13/2022

06/10/2022

05/26/2022

05/25/2022

In times of crisis, children want to know, "Who will take care of me?" Here are some tips to help reassure children during scary times.

05/13/2022

05/07/2022

Brilliant piece from a revered colleague:

6 Tips for Getting the Most Out of Therapy

Fluff the Hour.  Build in time before and after your session to journal or take a few notes.  We only spend 50 minutes together, but a lot can happen during that time. Show up early and allow time to notice what’s percolating in you, or take notes throughout the week about thoughts or feelings you may want to explore.  After our session, give yourself time to reflect before jumping back into your day.

Talk About Our Relationship.  Exploring our relationship in present time offers some of the richest moments of therapy.  Rarely do we get a chance to investigate the “here and now” in relationships as explicitly as we can in session.  How are we doing?  What ideas or curiosities do you have about me?  What do I think about you?  Is there something I said last week that stuck with you?  Bring it up.  Confronting your therapist with challenging feelings can actually strengthen your relationship.

Say the Odd Thought.   Therapy is a great place to get weird.  Have a sudden impulse?  Say it (rather than doing it).  Flash to a memory?  Share it.  Speak freely and see if something new might happen.

Allow Change.  Often we ask for change and feel uncomfortable when it actually happens.  Accept that if you are seeking change, things might really change, and it could be more than you expect.  A sexual concern, an addictive habit, interpersonal conflicts - shifting these patterns may require more of an overhaul than just a simple tweak.

Try New Things.  Therapy is a great place for thinkers to feel, for listeners to talk, for the passive to try being assertive.  Practice confrontation.  Let yourself cry and be witnessed.  Notice when you engage familiar patterns (“I’m angry again”), and talk about it.  The regrets people have on their deathbeds are usually not about things they did and more often relate to the risks they never took.

Engage and Enjoy.  Therapy is like enrolling in a course in which you are the subject matter.  If you’re curious, open, and motivated to do some work, it could be one of the most challenging and rewarding classes you ever take.

05/06/2022

Learning to tolerate the discomfort of imperfection is healthy for your relationships.

Even in healthy relationships, things will not be easy and require you to make some emotional shifts.

03/17/2022

How do I stay connected to an inner sense of self without losing you?
How do I stay connected to you without losing me?

From the moment we are born, we straddle two sets of contradictory needs: the need for security and the need for freedom. The holding together of that duality is one of the great paradoxes of love. To hold that conversation successfully: to find that place inside us where we feel as if we are living a life we can call our own while enjoying the joy of close relationships may be one of the central triumphs of the human experience.

On April 24th, I will join extraordinary poet and dear friend David Whyte as we explore love in its most inclusive form, not only the forms that it takes with one specific person, but across the full spectrum of experience.

Please visit the link below to join us for Intimacy and Independence: The Paradox of Love. https://bit.ly/362GoaA

02/22/2022

When it comes to fixing your relationship, you play a bigger role than you realize. Learn how to focus on what you can do.

02/18/2022

Have you ever reflected on an argument you had with your partner and just thought, “We do not get each other”? Or maybe you find yourself wondering, “Why does this matter so much to them? Why can’t they see it from my perspective?” Or even, “Why does this matter so much to me?”

The latest release from the Gottman Relationship Coach, Dealing with Conflict, is here to help you uncover the answers to those questions and more.

Every individual is unique, which means every relationship is an equally singular combination of dreams, opinions, viewpoints, and proclivities. Dive deep into the inner world of your relationship and gain an understanding of each other to ease communication and conflict—only on our new Gottman Connect platform.

Purchase the Gottman Relationship Coach: Dealing with Conflict today and work toward “getting” each other, even in conflict: http://bit.ly/3iaoR1K

Please note: This post is not intended to address situations of abuse.