The Radiant Life Project

The Radiant Life Project Activate your spark and illuminate your life from the inside-out with transformative inner work.

11/13/2025

You don’t recognize that person, because it’s not you anymore.

Before you went, no contact, you tolerated things you wouldn’t dream of allowing now. Maybe it was a toxic dynamic, maybe it was collapsing your boundaries or people pleasing or participating in drama.

Whatever your old patterns were that caused you so much suffering, this new version of you doesn’t do that anymore. You’ve come a really long way, and you should be incredibly proud.

⭐️ For help navigating your most toxic and challenging relationships check out my new book Mend or Move On at my LINK in BIO.

11/12/2025

Healthy connection requires boundaries. Any relationships that lack boundaries also lack the important ingredients of authenticity, trust, or healthy flow.

it’s a myth that if you’re in a healthy relationship, you shouldn’t need boundaries. In fact, the exact opposite is most likely true. The healthiest of relationships have the strongest and clearest boundaries.

boundaries sometimes get a bad rep, but they actually are the crucial ingredient to healthy connection. Because when you know where the other person‘s edges are, and they know where your edges are, you can be respectful of each other’s needs and capacity.

It’s also crucial for you to respect your own limits and boundaries, and not override your own needs and capacity. Without boundaries, we end up in the territory of self abandonment, resentment, and dishonesty in our relationships with others and ourselves. And that is not what makes healthy connection.

Get in the practice of asking your loved ones about their boundaries. Get curious about their limits and capacity, so you can be honoring and respectful of their needs and limits to facilitate the healthiest connection.

11/11/2025

My children owe me nothing, because healthy parenting is not transactional. It is my job as their mother to love, support, care, and provide for them - that’s the responsibility I undertook when I chose to be their mother.

Toxic relationships often ask you to “earn” love, or make you feel like you “owe” them something in return for the love, care, or support they provide.

Here are some examples of conditions that often exist within unhealthy, toxic dynamics (especially between parent and child):
✔️You must choose me first, above your friends and spouse
✔️You must take care of me when I’m older
✔️You must call or visit a certain amount
✔️You must give me grandchildren
✔️You must earn a degree and/or secure a prestigious career
✔️You must be loyal to me at the expense of yourself
❤️And many others…

The greatest reward of healthy parenting is not compliance, status, or loyalty from your children. It is them growing up, feeling safe, heard, seen, understood, and supported. If they trust you with their fears and secrets, if they go to you when there’s an issue to resolve, if they communicate with you when they have needs or desires, these are all healthy signs of a relationship that has the potential to thrive for a lifetime.
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📖 For help navigating your most challenging relationships, check out my new book “Mend or Move On” at my LINK in BIO
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11/10/2025

Yes, it really was that bad. The scars left by relational trauma and abuse are most often on the inside, invisible to the eye, which is why it can be tricky for these people to really believe that what happened to them was “real” or “that bad.”

When you can’t see broken bones or bruises, it can be more nebulous to pin down what happened and how severe it really was. And it’s much easier to be gaslit by others (and to gaslight yourself) about how valid and real your trauma is.

I am a licensed therapist, I work with people who have had deep relational trauma. I can tell you how difficult it is for many of these people to really own and accept that their trauma is valid because of the invisible nature of the scars it has left behind.

Just because this pain is internal doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, and doesn’t mean it wasn’t valid. Your internal scars from relational trauma are just as real as any other form of trauma or abuse.

If you need support working through your trauma, please seek out a licensed therapist to support your healing process.

📖 For help navigating your most challenging relationships, check out my new book “Mend or Move On” at my LINK in BIO.

11/09/2025

Sometimes emotions are annoying, let’s be honest. You don’t always want to (or have the capacity to) meet them with openness and curiosity, and maybe you wish you didn’t have to deal with emotions at all.

Instead of being annoyed by them, think about your emotions this way: They’re like the signaling system in your car that lets you know when something needs a little attention. Similar to your check engine light, if your emotions arise to let you know that anxiety or fear are present, it’s just a signal that something’s out of baseline status quo and needs a little more attention.

This is actually protective and preventative in the sense that emotions can help you from having a breakdown, burning out, or navigating immense damage control down the line.

Maybe your emotions are here to help you?
It’s worth considering so you can learn how to befriend them and gain information from them instead of resisting them.

talked about this recently on the podcast entitled “The Science of Happiness.” — Excellent episode, highly recommend.

11/08/2025

Wait, that’s not a real apology, right?
Nope. Not even a little bit.
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📖My book is here to support you with your most challenging relationships. Check out “Mend or Move On” at my LINK in BIO.

11/07/2025

Boundaries are actually about YOU, not THEM. Your boundaries express what you will do when your limits are crossed or when your needs are unmet.

➡️If you yell at me on the phone, I will hang up.
➡️If you disrespect me at Thanksgiving, I will leave.
➡️If I feel ganged up on by the family, I will go home.

Your boundaries require nothing from anyone else.
They just give them a heads up about where your edges are, and what YOU will do if they are pressed.

REQUESTS, on the other hand, ask something of others.

➡️Please don’t yell at me on the phone.
➡️Do not disrespect me at Thanksgiving.
➡️Don’t gang up on me with other family members.

❓See the difference❓

📖: For navigating your most challenging relationships, check out my new book “Mend or Move On” at my LINK in BIO.

11/06/2025

Relationship warning sign: you don’t share good, exciting things about your life with them because you know they’ll respond in a way that will make you feel terrible.

Their shame, casual dismissal, anger… it’s their negative projection to you being happy - healthy - whole - thriving… all things they’d probably rather you not be.

They would much rather you be in drama, chaos, pain, codependency with them so they can exert power and control over you and feel seeded by you.

I’ll share something personal here: 18 years ago when I got engaged, I was absolutely terrified to share the news of the engagement with a few of my close family members. Why? They had shown me through years and decades that they didn’t support my happiness. They responded repeatedly to my moments of joy and excitement with shame, dismissal, and even anger. So when I had happy news to share, they were my absolute last phone call that I didn’t even want to make. And you know what? When I finally did tell them about my engagement, they responded exactly how I thought they would… no surprise, but it was still immensely painful.

📖 For help navigating your most toxic relationships, check out my new book “Mend or Move On” at my LINK in BIO
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11/05/2025

Manipulation & Gaslighting: HOT TOPICS! But do you know what they really mean and why they’re so harmful in relationships?

I am Kate King, I’m a licensed therapist.
Manipulation (and gaslighting, which is a subset of manipulation) can be the most toxic element in a dysfunctional relationship. They deeply and profoundly mess with the trust between people, as well as a person’s trust with their Self. This hijacks their nervous system and makes them feel deeply unsafe in a way that they may not be able to put their finger on — which results in further unsafety, because they can’t figure out why they’re unsafe. Do you follow?

MANIPULATION is when someone nudges you toward a belief or an action that you wouldn’t have normally chosen for yourself, but that ultimately benefits their needs & agenda. It’s when they mess with your mind to coerce you into choosing something or directing your energy in a way that suits them rather than you.

GASLIGHTING is a form of manipulation.
It is when someone messes with your mind to the extent where you no longer believe that your reality is real. It is a profound state of confusion used to benefit the ends of another person. The thing you perceived as real, they convince is not. And they convince you that what they say, think and believe is more real than what you say, think, or believe.

There are many forms of manipulation. Gaslighting is just one of them. No form of manipulation in relationships is ever healthy or safe. Your nervous system will tell you that at a deep level. When trust is derailed in such a way because your mind has been messed with by the agenda and coercion of another person, it’s difficult to come back from that.

📖For help navigating your most complex, messy relationships, check out my new book “Mend or Move On” at my LINK in BIO.

11/04/2025

No, I don’t think there’s an “estrangement epidemic” happening. And no, therapists aren’t making people cut off from their families.

It’s a therapists job to meet their client where they’re at, and to support their mental and emotional wellbeing. Sometimes that means teaching healthy communication, boundary setting, and strategies for relationship repair. Other times it means helping them break free from harmful relationships. Either way, the client’s needs are the focus.

Also: For those who say that therapists are getting rich on breaking up families… I have no idea how this makes sense to you (have you seen therapist salaries?).

Estrangement isn’t a trend.
It’s been happening for as long as there have been people. With social media and technology, maybe we have a forum to be more open and conversational about it. But estrangement certainly doesn’t happen because of social media. I’ve never met a client considering no-contact who got the idea from a social media therapist. People who choose no-contact typically endure immense suffering for years or decades before finally choosing estrangement. They don’t impulsively cut people off from a social media video.

📖 For help navigating your toughest relationships, check out my new book “Mend or Move On” at my LINK in BIO.

11/03/2025

Staking your future on an apology that may never come from a person who is unwilling or unable to foster healthy relationship repair will only harm your present and future Self, and it will keep your past wounds from healing.

True apologies require a deep level of humility, accountability, and emotional maturity that not everyone is capable of — especially if they haven’t done their personal work, or if their mental health is unstable.

Sometimes the best you can do is accept that an apology may never come, and move forward towards a life of greater freedom, peace, and joy without the weight of a relationship that doesn’t (and possibly never did) serve your highest good.

📖For help navigating your trickiest relationships, see my new book Mend or Move On at my LINK in BIO.

11/02/2025

I mean, sometimes you just don’t need your phone reminding you of that toxic person with every ding and chime, you know?

It’s not a permanent solution for dealing with that unhealthy relationship, but it’ll give you a little space while you navigate the bigger issue at hand and what to do about it.

📖Need help with your most challenging relationships? I got you. Check out my new book, Mend or Move On, at my LINK in BIO.

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