12/04/2024
Hate is always a choice…a choice to avoid an examination of m conscience, a choice to project blame instead of sitting with responsibility, a choice to make conformity a selfish standard to mask difference.
They “other” people to gain a sense of control over their own insecurities, to hold power in the assuredness of superiority. The fears of rejection get regurgitated as the bile of hatred, to take the spotlight off their own deficiencies, a narcissistic attack to solidly the wounds of their past into scars of indifference for our collective future.
Nothing could be more transparently self-absorbed or childishly fearful than hate. To be that committed to a path of interference with a group’s existence or autonomy begs the question of how deeply they fear their own erasure & irrelevance down deep in the root of their own stories.
Hate is an easy solution that narcissists use to control the conversation, to center their victimhood as a justification for irrationality.
Love is harder, requiring a level of self-honesty that accepts the good, the bad, the beautiful & ugly as equal and deserving of healing ❤️🩹 love believes in repairing the wrongs, not making the chasm of disconnection wider.
The leadership advice:
1) regularly turn the mirror on yourself to ensure you are not rolling into the ease of hate
2) use the strength of your love to show someone else the mirror…by naming their hate as a choice. Plant that seed of “you’re choosing to see it this way because then you never have to deal with your own insufficiencies” (with or without actually saying those words😅)
3) frame the fear so the scapegoat can’t enter the room. Each time they project blame, make them identify the fear driving that blame. Make them spend their words on themselves, not others.
4) Don’t let them get away with big, broad statements. Break it down into smaller parts and make them articulate their (lack of) vision.
5) Don’t engage unless you have an anchor to stay detached in your observation otherwise you could end up making their point for them. Make them do the emotional heavy lifting.
I hope this framing was helpful to you 😇
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