Fearless Intimacy Coaching

Home
United States
Denver, CO
Fearless Intimacy Coaching

Supporting Conscious Leaders create Sensual, Powerful Connections in Partnership & Beyond
www.raquelalexandra.com Welcome, Wonderful!

I’m Raquel, a relationship and intimacy coach, writer, speaker, and facilitator with over 10 years experience in leadership & transformational work. My purpose is to support busy, passionate leaders create their most pleasure-filled relationships by orienting to delight, turning up sensuality, and diving deep into integrated connection. With my background in mindful movement & meditation, indigeno

us wisdom traditions, divine feminine & masculine studies, and somatic sexological bodywork, I will guide, challenge & inspire you to explore the ecstatic depths of healing & transformation. I can’t wait to connect with you!

11/30/2021

There is SO much here!

Inquiry, discernment, play...

Not to mention the dynamics that we unconsciously seek out in potential partners.

Questions? Click the link in my bio and apply for coaching to begin to uncover how attachment plays a hugepart in your own relationships. There's a lot to explore with this one question!

11/27/2021

Apart from educating ourselves on the genocidal origins of Thanksgiving and supporting Indigenous voices and people...

We can also examine how we show appreciation.

Did you know that we're wired to do MORE of what we're appreciated for?

When you show emphatic appreciation for your Partners (and everyone else), you're lowkey entraining them to do it more often.

AND you trick your brain into enjoying what you appreciated EVEN MORE.

How many things can you thank your Partner for?

Thank you for listening.
Thank you for hanging out with me today.
Thank you for inviting me.
Thank you for that good XYZ in bed.

This doesn't only go for saying it--HOW do you express you gratitude?

Eye contact.
Touch.
Presence.
Emotion.

Say it with FEELING.

If you love it and want more of it, make sure to show how much it delights you.

11/23/2021

I notice so many posts about spotting narcissists, toxic f**kboys, toxic friends, toxic avengers, avoidant stringers-along...

But I don't see a whole lot of asking how WE are responsible for our relationships.

Polarity is a beautiful thing: By noticing what is magnetized toward us, we get a good idea of the vibes we're sending out.

Caveat: This never, ever includes any kind of abuse.

Relationships of all kinds reveal beliefs, attitudes and habits we have about our own worthiness and what we think we need.

So if you're noticing you've got a lot of ghosters, toxic friendships, or are surrounded by a ton of narcissists...

This is the PERFECT opportunity to ask yourself how these relationships are actually playing into your view of yourself.

And I get it: Sometimes the games, drama and angst are fun...

And then you get over it.

You get to decide who you spend your energy on.

*x

11/21/2021

Single & Dating? GOOD, because I'm so excited for this collaboration:

So many of my clients are single and ready to practice what we've been coaching on:
⚡️Showing up fully
⚡️Getting outside your comfort zone
⚡️Repatterning unhelpful habits

But they don't know where to MEET PEOPLE on the same page to practice flexing their new skills.

Enter .

Instead of swipe-induced existential crises of apps, Tawkify Matchmakers get to actually know clients, what they want in a Partnership and set them up with someone who they'll actually be compatible with.

Best part? As a Fearless Intimacy follower, You get to join the Dating Pool for FREE.

That means Matchmakers have access to your profile when curating dates for their clients.

You get to date without the swiping.

Join by clicking the link in my bio or visiting tawkify.raquelalexandra.com

Questions? DM me.

coach

11/19/2021

Repeat after me: The way I attach is PERFECT.

A lot of this work focuses on "getting more secure," but we have strengths JUST THE WAY WE ARE.

The way we attach were formed when we were infants as a way to survive in our environment.

Regardless of our attachment style, it was perfect to help us get what we needed when we were growing up--brilliant!

There is NOTHING wrong with the way you attach--but when you're resourced, you can begin to discern which of your tendencies serve the kind of connections you want, and which ones don't.

Ready to shift some of those unhelpful habits? Click Apply for Coaching in my bio and let's talk⚡️

11/18/2021

One of my favorite tools to use with couples is Love Mapping, which was pioneered by John Gottman as a way to create intimacy, shared experiences and a road map to each other's worlds.

Enter: Pleasure Mapping!

Now, you can do this with a partner, but I first invite you to do this by yourself.

We tend to be disconnected from what actually brings us that Deep Soul Nourishing Pleasure, and we need to figure out what good feels like to US first.

Want more? Let's have a conversation! Apply for Coaching in the link in my bio and let's talk⚡

11/16/2021

For every ONE negative interaction we have with our partners, we need FIVE positive ones to reinforce a thriving & happy relationship.

This doesn't only apply to our long-term romantic relationships--the 5:1 ratio applies to new or dating relationships, friends, family, roommates, coworkers, and anyone else you spend a lot of time with or value in your life.

A "negative reaction" doesn't have to be an all-out fight. It can be unanswered texts, dismissive comments, body language like rolling your eyes, or ignoring a request.

If there's a part of you that says a little "ouch," it's a negative interaction.

(IMPORTANT: Learn your ouches. Don't ignore, dismiss or toughen up against them. Communicate your ouches to your partner. Ask them about their ouches.)

So what's a positive interaction?

Anything that leaves you feeling heard, loved, silly, inspired, s*xy, proud, strong, supported, etc.

A few ways to get the ratio back on track:

⚡Be goofy, flirty, silly.
⚡Demonstrate your appreciation
⚡Send a sweet text
⚡Touch, kiss, snuggle without distraction
⚡Find things you agree on
⚡Be curious & interested
⚡Do something sweet
⚡Say honest, adorable things

How's the ratio with your most important relationships lately?

How can you ask for more positive interactions while also dishing them out?

11/15/2021

When we envision the person we want to be--that Aligned, Ideal, Integrated Self that we know we can show up as for our Partners, we have a reference point for when we're are definitely NOT feeling like our Ideal Selves.

Yes, it's really challenging for me to show up as the silly, laughing, delighted and open-hearted Self when I'm actually...

Cranky. Irritated. Sad. Overwhelmed.

BUT THAT'S WHEN WE NEED IT MOST.

That's why this takes trying over and over again, because inviting in a new perspective when we're elbow-deep in a story, a mood or a thinking pattern feels like a massive shift.

Like sometimes I'd rather just lay in the dark and cry. (Which I totally do. And that's a good thing.)

But THEN, when I'm done wallowing and moving that stuck energy, the play must return.

It's like putting on a pair of jeans fresh from the dryer.

First of all: Ugh, pants.
Secondly, they're tight, stiff, uncomfortable.

But then you wear them a little bit, you do the squat thing, you spend a little time moving in them, and they loosen, get more comfortable, and your butt looks amazing.

It's the same with the attitude of Play--it doesn't always feel good off the bat. It can feel weird, uncomfortable and forced.

But then you move with it, you start to laugh, you begin to imagine and get excited.

And your butt looks amazing.

11/13/2021

And it doesn't mean ANYTHING about you.

This is for those of us with people-pleasing tendencies out there:

How much time do we waste on...

a) Try to win over people who clearly aren't interested (potential friends, potential clients, and family of origin, included)

b) Making that mean something about our worth?

Answers:

a & b) A Sh*t-Ton.

Remember: We can only control our own thoughts, feelings and actions.

No one is obligated to like you, AND you're still loveable, worthy, and fu***ng fantastic.

11/12/2021

Oh, how we LOVE to think we can control things outside of ourselves.

SPOILER ALERT: We can't.

And we drive ourselves crazy trying to do the impossible!

No amount of worrying will get the person you’re dating to text you back faster.

No amount of nagging with get your Partner to pay more attention to you.

No amount of resisting and pushing others away will help you feel freer.

When we are in the middle of cultivating nourishing, thriving relationships, we HAVE to relinquish control over everything but ourselves.

11/10/2021

Expressing our needs can be tough, but the benefits WAY outweigh the discomfort.

But enduring? There are NO benefits to enduring when isn't feeling good.

Need a little support expressing your desires? Apply for coaching in the link in my bio and let's talk ⚡

11/09/2021

That last one because we ALL judge! 😅

We cannot create new, thriving things from a place of scarcity...and this goes for relationships too.

When we grasp, hold onto, desperately need, withhold, dismiss, avoid, run from...

It's all scarcity, baby.

Break the pattern and start feeling something NEW. Apply for Coaching in the link in my bio and let's talk.

11/08/2021

Oh BABY, are we hard on ourselves!

If you understood the magnitude of what you do when you DO GOOD LOVE, you'd be so ecstatically proud of yourself.

Because it's not only for your Partner or the Partnership--this work teaches you to trust, to express and to unfurl YOURSELF.

My clients are so courageous for looking at the pieces that are hard to look at, sitting with the anxiety and the tears and the pain.

Because it's so, so worth it to become more of themselves.

Interested? Click Apply for Coaching in the link in my bio and let's talk. 💕

11/05/2021

Say it with me: I cannot fix other people 🙌🏼💕

11/03/2021

As the weather gets colder, we might get a little...snappy. 🥲

Be kind yourself as we make this seasonal shift, and you'll be kinder to your Partner, too.

11/02/2021

We all do it, we've all received it.

There's ALWAYS space to practice celebrating the No--both giving it AND getting it ⚡

10/29/2021

"They weren't right for you," is the chorus tell ourselves and hear from our crew as a relationship ends.

But let's be real: You weren't right for them either.

We always focus on the Other:

The work THEY need to do to grow.

How THEY didn't give you what you need

How THEY'RE not in your alignment...

It is always, ALWAYS a two-way street.

We forget the ways we were toxic, unsupportive or just NOT A GOOD FIT.

This isn't about overextending yourself and abandoning your boundaries.

This is about recognizing and taking responsibility for what YOU need to change to show up in your next relationship.

One of the bravest questions to ask is: How did I contribute to this?

DISCLAIMER: ABUSE IS NEVER YOUR FAULT

How do you want to show up?

Reach out for a little support--I can't wait to hear from you!

Address

Denver, CO

Website

http://raquelalexandra.com/

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Fearless Intimacy Coaching posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Fearless Intimacy Coaching: