People House

05/27/2026

BREAK THE STIGMA! :)

05/26/2026

Reminder: This event is coming this Saturday!

Thank you to Heart First Therapy and Hazel Art Bar for donating proceeds to People House ACP!

05/26/2026

Let’s Get Physical || By TJ Dubovich, MA, MFTC

When it comes to understanding our bodies from a s*xual perspective, I find many clients don’t even know where to begin. This isn’t a critique on them but a concern as to why this exists and what we can do as practitioners to equip our clients with deeper somatic congruence and knowledge of their bodies and erotic self.

It appears in westernized American culture we are challenged to feel completely present within our bodies (with all the external stimuli and distraction, how could we?) during s*xual experiences, as mentioned in my previous blog. However, beyond that, we have a lack in information and clarity of s*x processes, issues, or ailments to give us strong roadmaps to full s*xual ownership of self. If we are not taught correct and inclusive information about our ge****ls, hormones, s*xual abilities as we age, etc – no wonder we find ourselves having uncertain, or even dissociative, s*xual experiences. My hope for this writing is to provide information and myth-busting to a small portion of a vast world in s*xual health awareness, as I know this information has been transformative in my own.

So. Let’s Get Physical.

Did you know that for approximately every 1 out of 1500 births someone is born with some type of inters*x condition? You may be wondering, what does that term even mean? “Inters*x is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or s*xual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male” (ISNA, 2026). Although the spectrum includes folks with varying external ge***al differences, it is more nuanced than just what can be seen. There are a variety of internal variations within the inters*x spectrum and folks can live a portion, or even most, of their lives not even knowing they are. The larger context of sharing this point is that even with our external ge***alia, there are vast differences in presentation and function. To know this is to normalize this and thus expand our understanding of how our bodies “should” look.

For the purpose of this article, I’m going to divide the next bit into 2 sections. One for AMAB folks (Assigned Male At Birth) and one for AFAB (Assigned Female At Birth). These terms are utilized because some folks (like those who are non-binary or transgender) may not identify with the gender of the s*x they were born.

Assigned Male at Birth
Did you know that for every decade an individual with a p***s is alive, there is a 10% increase in erectile dysfunction? It’s much more common than one may realize. For example, a 50yr old AMAB person can experience issues with getting or maintaining erections 50% of the time (NIDDK, 2026). Also, ED can be caused by a variety of issues so it can be beneficial to check with a primary care physician or urologist if there is concern – as it can be linked to cardiovascular health, diabetes (Yetman, 2025). If there are no medical issues, working with a s*x therapist can explore if there is any underlying trauma, anxiety, or self-esteem issues that are contributing to ED. The mental connection to the p***s can be complex and it’s completely normal to take time to process what may be distracting from staying present in pleasurable moments.

AMAB folks are born with prostates. “The prostate is a walnut-sized gland below the bladder, above the p***s, and in front of the re**um. Its primary function is to create prostate fluid, which is a component of semen” (Zachary et. al, 2024). However, it also can be stimulated to induce intense or***ms. This typically can be done by some sort of internal a**l massage/rectal play but also externally by stimulation of the perinium (the area between the sc***um and a**s). A**l play can be associated with q***r men, which is true, however AMAB folks of any s*xual orientation can explore prostate play with themselves or their partner. Societal scripts on what is appropriate heteronormative s*xual play can limit all genders.

Assigned Female at Birth
Did you know that what was originally considered PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) has finally been classified more accurately as PMOS (polyendocrine metabolic ovarian syndrome)? A complex condition that affects 1 in 8 people, it can cause “fluctuations in hormones that can affect weight, metabolic and mental health, the reproductive system and the skin” (Ungar, 2026) The advancement in understanding this condition is notable, as historically, AFAB medical conditions have not been as thoroughly researched as male counterparts. It also provides AFAB folks with more agency around understanding their s*xual health, which is a key ingredient to ownership of pleasure.

Another common but vastly misunderstood condition is dyspareunia, otherwise known as pain during in*******se. This affects up to 20% of AFAB folks as a chronic issue (ASHA, 2026). Dyspareunia can be caused by a variety of issues such as endometriosis, pelvic floor issues, fibroids, a retroverted uterus, and hormonal fluctuations – just to name a few. (ASHA, 2026). Many AFAB folks are socialized to accept that “pain just comes with s*x sometimes” but this does not need to be true. One way to explore this by yourself is to see if pain exists only with a partner or also with masturbation/toys, as that can be one factor to the underlying cause of the pain. To further this point, if individuals explore what does feel good for them – alone or with partners, it can lead to more understanding when something is off. Pelvic floor PTs and gynecologists can also be helpful in pinpointing what may be causing the pain.

Related to dyspareunia, AFAB folks can have varying experiences of or**sm & intensity. In a study completed of over 24,000 U.S. adults, it found that AFAB folks or**smed around 46-58% of the time during s*xual in*******se, in comparison to AMAB folks or**sming 70-85% (Gesselman et. al, 2024). That finding may not be surprising but why this or**sm gap exists might be. Folks with vulvas/vaginas tend to or**sm from cl****al stimulation. Depending on many factors including ones’ anatomy (if ones’ cl****is is more than 2.5cm from their vaginal opening, it’s much more difficult to or**sm from pe*******on alone), psychological state, or type of touch can lead to a plethora of pleasure experiences.

With this information, I hope one can start to explore their own body with more intention, as I know we are not taught or supported to do this. There is so much to learn about ourselves from our erotic template so take tune in and see what you find.

Afterword: If you are a clinician reading this and finding yourself feeling uncomfortable, please educate yourself or refer your clients to a certified s*x therapists, coaches or educators. This step could serve our community to become more stable and secure in our s*xual selves.

Resources:

AASECT: American Association of S*xuality Educations, Counselors and Therapists (https://www.aasect.org/)
S*xual Health Alliance (https://s*xualhealthalliance.com/)
Integrative S*x Therapy Institute (https://www.integratives*xtherapyinstitute.com/)
Planned Parenthood (https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn)
If you are someone seeking counseling or currently in therapy, please know you can always advocate for this information. Ask questions for yourself, vet potential clinicians on their knowledge and if it’s not a good fit, trust yourself to find someone who is.

Resources:

AASECT: American Association of S*xuality Educations, Counselors and Therapists Referral Directory (https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory)
Podcasts: Savage Love, S*x ed with DB, S*x and Psychology Podcast, S*x with Emily, In Bed with Alexa: Have Better S*x
Books: Every Body by Julia Rothman, Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Bonk by Mary Roach
References:

American S*xual Health Association (2026, Feb 3rd). Dyspareunia – Why S*x Hurts. https://www.ashas*xualhealth.org/dyspareunia-s*x-hurts/

Gesselman, A. N., Bennett-Brown, M., Dubé, S., Kaufman, E. M., Campbell, J. T., & Garcia, J. R. (2024). The lifelong or**sm gap: Exploring age’s impact on or**sm rates. S*xual Medicine, 12(3). https://doi.org/10.1093/s*xmed/qfae042

Ungar, L. (2026, May 18). The condition known as PCOS is now called PMOS. what to know about the name change and treatment. PBS. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/the-condition-known-as-pcos-is-now-called-pmos-what-to-know-about-the-name-change-and-treatment

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (2026). Definition & Facts for erectile dysfunction – NIDDK. National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/urologic-diseases/erectile-dysfunction/definition-facts

What is inters*x?. Inters*x Society of North America. (2026) https://isna.org/faq/what_is_inters*x/

Yetman, D. (2025, April 10). How common is Ed? statistics, diagnostic criteria, risk factors. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/how-common-is-ed

Zachary, Z., Engle, G., & Strong, R. (2024, October 30). Male G-**ot: How to find it, stimulate it, best positions & more. Men’s Health. https://www.menshealth.com/s*x-women/a19541010/how-to-find-the-male-g-spot/

05/25/2026

Thank you to all!

05/24/2026

Gratitude always wins.

05/23/2026

ACP SUPERVISOR SPOTLIGHT featuring: Christina Valastro, MA, LPCC

I have found my calling in psychotherapy. As early as middle school, I was interested in having friends of every age group and from various backgrounds. I discovered I was a good listener and observer with enormous curiosity about everything. I loved hearing about people’s unique experiences and ways of navigating life. Over time, I realized my interest in people is because humans are truly fascinating beings. My belief is we’re essentially a pretty cool species, and quite adaptable!

I’ve worked in various healthcare settings for most of my adult life and have long been committed to working as a therapist. My own story has helped motivate and shape me in this work. When two family members were diagnosed with cancer – first my mother and weeks later, my husband – I became acutely aware of how precious and unpredictable life can be.

Within the next few years, my brave mother passed, my dear father followed her shortly after, and then my beloved husband left this world as well. Losing each of them was heartbreaking beyond measure, and also surprisingly led to remarkable blessings. I learned so much. I found that each grief experience is unique, and healing takes many forms. I discovered a strong support system is as vital as lifeblood, and the power of gratitude is infinite. I believe each of their lives and love have offered tremendous inspiration, and growth. I also presume these losses have made me a better person, friend, and counselor. I can accompany those in distress, whatever form that might take, with more empathy and understanding. I am able to welcome both grief and joy, plus everything in between, and I value the opportunity to share what I can with others. It is a true honor to walk alongside my clients who are growing, learning, and living with the uncertainty life presents.

SOUL SAVVY INSIGHT
Christinavalastro.com
970-541-1033

05/22/2026

05/21/2026

Say hello to this week's highlighted Core Practitioner, Lillian Bailey, LMFT, AASECT Certified S*x Therapist

I am here to support you in your s*xual challenges. As an AASECT-certified s*x therapist, I’ve dedicated my career to providing expert knowledge and compassionate guidance to individuals and couples struggling with aspects of their s*xuality, including shame, trauma, physical pain, and loss. The people I work with courageously seek to find greater connection with their pleasure, desire, and a sense of ease and comfort in their bodies. I’m so honored to be trusted with these intimate aspects of my clients’ lives, and I respect their trust by pursuing excellence as a clinician and holding their stories with great care. My greatest passion as a s*x therapist is helping people who feel disconnected from pleasure and desire. Oftentimes, my clients experience low desire and/or pain with s*x. To help them, I use an individualized approach where I integrate s*x education and mindfulness with evidence-based methods such as Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT). You deserve pleasure, joy, and deep connection to yourself and the most important people in your life. I’m constantly in awe of what my clients are able to achieve in their lives and relationships. You bring your challenges, and I’ll meet you with strong leadership, connected and gentle presence, and creativity. Let’s see what we can build together!

📞 651-564-4492✉ contact@lillianbaileymft.com🌐 lillianbaileymft.com/

05/20/2026

Lean in...

05/19/2026

Tending the Temple: Intuitive & Sensual Nervous System Care || By Bre Smith, LPCC

One frigid winter day I found myself soaking in a delicious hot bath. The lights were off and only a pine scented candle’s flame danced across the bathroom walls. I took a deep inhale, filling my lungs with warm air and my nostrils with the smell of sweet pine and yummy orange. I felt the seductive heat from the oily, salty water from where I had dumped two whole handfuls of coconut oil and just a little more epsom salt than I really needed. Boy, do I love oil! Few things make me feel as luscious and delightful as oil on my skin.

I am inspired and enticed and bolstered by Adrienne Maree Brown’s work collected in the book Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good. What if we followed the wisdom and delight of our body? This lighthouse of our life.

Intuitive Nervous System Care
A way in to connection with our intuition is through mindfulness and breath. It can be pausing, bringing attention inward, and taking three rounds of slow, long breaths. A slow dance with your breath–you can take as long as you like (there is plenty of time). Maybe notice what feels intriguing, interesting, nice, or like a sigh of relief. This can look like laying down, taking some sips of water, or going for a walk beneath the sun or moon, or dancing feverishly stomping with demands for your life. Following that quiet or loud knowing inside rather than the shoulds or shouldn’ts of chaos around you. (What do they know about your inner universe anyway? hehe) To follow the intelligence of your system with reverence and devotion.

Sensual Nervous System Care
Sensual nervous system care can feel like following what lights up and indulges your senses. Like the love of your life! That scrumptious feeling from your curled toes to your buzzing head with the cozy blanket touching your soft skin. That combo of just the right tastes to delight your tastebuds and your wild mind. That pair of socks or that shirt or that hat that you just can’t help but stare at your cute self in every reflection you come across. Mmm! That electrifying immersion in the icy mountain lake. That damp earth beneath your body and the gorgeous sun overhead. What if the world around you was for you? The birds singing your praises. The rocks begging to bolster you. The trees dying to dance with you. Your body yearning to romance you with the deepest love.

May you hold yourself with sweetness.

May you delight in yourself with tenderness.

May you see yourself in your holiness.

May you dance with yourself in joy.

About the Author: Bre Smith (she/they) is a mental health counselor, educator, artist, and writer with a background in psychology and community-based care. Their work centers on trauma-informed, somatic, and ecofeminist approaches to healing, with a focus on nervous system regulation, identity, and relational well-being. Through their writing, Breezy aims to demystify mental health and support more humane, accessible approaches to healing—both inside and outside the therapy room.

05/19/2026

Check out this Men's Support Group offered Sunday evenings at the House!