Kneading To Unwind

03/01/2026

🍀 THE GOLD HAS ARRIVED 🍀

The Pot of Gold giveaway officially starts TODAY.

Every March appointment with Claudia gets a chance to pull a scratch-off ticket after their session… and yes, some sessions are being erased from existence. 💰

But if you don’t strike gold…

Don’t worry — the Leprechaun’s Gold is still waiting.
(And by that I mean chocolate coins, because nobody should leave empty-handed.) 🍫

So if you haven’t booked your March appointment yet, this is your sign. Book online before the pot runs dry and the leprechauns lock the door. 🔐 🍀
kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

Who’s feeling lucky? 🍀

02/23/2026

🎰🍀 MARCH HAS NO SUPERVISION 🍀🎰

Claudia Gold McClover is officially unsupervised.

For the ENTIRE month of March, every appointment booked with Claudia enters the Spa Casino.

You walk in tight.
You walk out melted.

Then AFTER your session…
You reach into the ✨Pot of Gold✨ and pull ONE scratch-off ticket.

If it’s a winner?

YOUR SESSION IS FREE.

Gone.
Erased.
Financially deleted.

Now listen carefully.

There are TWO locations. Each location has its own pot and each pot holds THREE winning tickets. That’s six total chances for someone to leave relaxed and undefeated.

Monika remains responsible, while I remain spiraled.

The pots are loaded.
The gold is restless.
And I am absolutely unsupervised.

Book your March appointment with Claudia before those last few remaining spots disappear!
kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

Melt. Scratch. Pray to the rainbow.

Signed,
Claudia Gold McClover 🍀
Keeper of the Pot. Destroyer of Receipts.
Totally Unsupervised. 🎰💰🔥

With locations in Newport and Depoe Bay, we're proud to be trusted by the community, our Veterans and those who know the difference between a good massage and a life-changing one.

02/19/2026

🚨 MARCH MADNESS: LEPRECHAUN EDITION 🚨

For the ENTIRE month of March, if you book your appointment with Claudia (yes ME, not sweet, responsible, rational Monika)

You get to reach into my ✨POT OF GOLD✨ and pull a scratch-off ticket.

If it’s a winner…

YOUR. SESSION. IS. FREE.

Not discounted.
Not “$10 off.”
Not “store credit.”

FREE.

As in your tight shoulders just got financially forgiven.
As in your stress got evicted AND refunded.
As in I apparently let a leprechaun take over my frontal lobe.

Picture it:
You walk in stressed.
You leave relaxed.
And then BOOM, you scratch and suddenly you’re the chosen one.

This is happening ALL. MONTH. LONG.
With Claudia ONLY!!

Monika will be peacefully minding her professional business. Meanwhile I’m over here shaking the pot like it owes me money.

So if you haven’t scheduled your March appointment yet…

THIS IS YOUR SIGN.
Your omen.
Your green-glowing muscle salvation.

Book your March session with Claudia.
Come test your luck.
Come strike gold.
kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

Because nothing says Happy St. Patrick’s Day like a great massage and questionable business decisions.🍀💰

02/15/2026

Many of you know that outside of Kneading To Unwind and Nat's Lash Lab, my husband serves our community as a K9 handler with the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office. 💙🐾

After the retirement of his incredible partner, Ghost, they are now accepting donations to help fund his next K9.

This community has always shown up for us, and we are beyond grateful for the continued support of the families behind the badge.

If you’re interested in donating, please see the information below:

🤝 In person donations:
Bring cash or a check (payable to the Lincoln County Foundation) to the Support Services Division at the Lincoln County Courthouse (225 W. Olive St., Room 203, Newport, OR 97635). Make sure the check notes the donation is for the Patrol K9 Program.

✉️ Mail in donations:
Mail your check (payable to the to the Lincoln County Foundation) using the address below. Make sure the check notes the donation is for the Patrol K9 Program.

Mail to
Lincoln County Foundation
Attn: Lincoln County Sheriff Community Fund - Patrol K9 Program
PO BOX 622
Newport, OR 97365

02/15/2026

Cupid clocked in. 💘 Towels were warm. Stones were hot. The ocean behaved. And our first official Valentine’s Couples Day? A whole love story.

Three couples. Three spots. Fully booked. Zero crumbs left.

Now that Monika has joined, Couples Massage officially entered its power era and today was the debut. Hot stones melting stress into oblivion. Warm towels cocooning you like royalty. Chocolate-covered strawberries because we’re classy. Hershey’s kisses because we’re sweet, but not too sweet. 😉

To our three couples who secured those spots before anyone else could blink, you understood the assignment. We hope you floated out relaxed, reconnected, and just smug enough to know you did Valentine’s Day better than everyone else.

And since this was our first official round offering multiple couples sessions like this, and it was a full-on success…

Yeah. We’re talking about doing this more often. 👀

We’re working out the details, so behave. But just know, dinner reservations are predictable.

Hot stones, strawberries, and kisses while the ocean sets the mood.

That’s elite energy. 💅🏼💘

02/14/2026

💌 HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY 💌

From your favorite trio:

Claudia
The Stress Slayer

Monika
The Nervous System Whisperer

Natalie
The Lash Architect.

Today we just want to say thank you.

Thank you for trusting Claudia to knead your stress into submission.

Thank you for letting Monika realign your nervous system and place hot stones on you like you’re royalty at a spa in another dimension.

Thank you for letting Nat give you lashes so dramatic they could headline their own love story.

Valentine’s isn’t just about roses and chocolates.
It’s about taking care of yourself.
It’s about showing up for your body.
It’s about looking in the mirror and saying, “Yes. I deserve this.”

So whether you’re cuddled up with your Valentine, your kids, your dog, or your peace and quiet, we hope today feels warm, relaxed, and a little luxurious.

We appreciate every single one of you.

Now go eat that chocolate. You’ve earned it. 💗

02/12/2026

If your body has been sending passive-aggressive emails lately… this is your cue to book with Monika.

She’s offering services that go beyond your “just rub my shoulders” appointment:

✨ Massage with Hot Stones & Heated Bamboo
Warm stones and heated bamboo work together to melt tension, boost circulation, and help muscles release without feeling like you went ten rounds with a forklift.

✨ CranioSacral Therapy
A gentle technique that supports your nervous system, reduces stress, and helps your body settle down when life has it running in five different tabs at once.

✨ BEMER Therapy
A non-invasive therapy designed to enhance circulation and support your body’s natural healing and recovery process. Think “upgrade your internal WiFi.”

✨ Certified Health Coaching
Guidance, accountability, and real-life strategies to help you build healthier habits without the all-or-nothing burnout spiral.

Professional. Knowledgeable. Calm.
But still here to save your stiff neck and questionable life choices.

Book your session online.👇🏼
https://monikaadams.com/schedule?fbclid=IwdGRjcAP7QqJleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEecq17Q_S9tAQTE--lg92j9iRAQptaG3d2KAQCusrAmt5IjuXqXzx0zmikrU4_aem_iwE7yVcxdCHF47BBFdfs3w

Your future self is already grateful. 💛

02/11/2026

👑✨ A MESSAGE FROM HER ROYAL HIGHNESS, MISS LUNA ✨👑

Listen carefully, subjects.

There are 31 HOURS LEFT for you to secure my rightful place in FIRST.

Thirty. One. Hours.

I did not spend all this time being majestic, oversized, and effortlessly iconic just to come in third.

Do you know how embarrassing that would be?
I would have to dramatically sigh.
Possibly refuse eye contact.
Maybe even lay sideways across the entire couch in protest.

Also, don’t mind my headband. My mom is an esthetician. I get complimentary self-care. Royal skin requires royal maintenance.

This is what peak performance looks like.

I am a 100+ pound supermodel.
A professional side-eye specialist.
A philanthropist of vibes.

The $10,000 prize is basically already mine.
You just need to click the link and make it official.

Vote.
Share.
Text the group chat.
Send it to that one friend who never responds but still watches your stories.

👇🏼 CAST YOUR VOTE FOR YOUR QUEEN HERE 👇🏼
https://americasfavpet.com/2026/luna-f3b0

Let’s not fumble this, peasants.
I look phenomenal in first place.

👑🐾

02/06/2026

VALENTINE’S DAY: ABSOLUTELY SOLD TF OUT ❤️‍🔥

Y’all did not hesitate!

All THREE Valentine’s Day Couples Massage spots are FILLED.

Gone. Booked. Closed. 🔒

To the couples who locked it in:
🔥 Hot stones
🍓 Strawberries
🥂 Sparkling cider
😌 Silence you can’t buy at dinner

To everyone who waited:
This is what we mean when we say act accordingly 😏

When Claudia & Monika drop something limited, it doesn’t sit, it disappears. Every. Single. Time.

Thank you to everyone who booked and trusted us with your Valentine’s plans.

More couples sessions coming soon.

Next time, don’t blink. 👀

02/05/2026

Valentine’s Day Survival Kit — LIMITED EDITION 💘

Because nothing says “I still choose you” like silence, hot stones, and not talking for 60 whole minutes.

🗓 Saturday, February 14th
🔥 ONLY TWO COUPLES OPENINGS
💆‍♀️ 60-Minute Couples Massage
💰 $280

✨ What’s included (because chaos needs luxury):
• 🔥 Hot stones to melt the beef
• 🧺 Warm towels to calm the nervous system and the mouths
• 🍓 Chocolate-covered strawberries (emotional support snacks)
• 🥂 Sparkling cider because love is fragile

Perfect for:
✔ Couples in love
✔ Couples on probation
✔ Couples who said “we’re fine” through clenched teeth
✔ Couples who already argued about where to eat

📞 Call ASAP to reserve before someone else locks down your spot and you’re stuck with dinner reservations and no relaxation.

541-992-3166

Love is temporary.
Relaxation is legendary. ❤️

01/23/2026

🚨THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT🚨

Meet our new massage therapist that is joining us, effective immediately. Offering exclusive services that are completely unique to the county. She will only be available at our Depoe Bay location.

Monika Adams, M.Ed., LMT is a Licensed Massage Therapist and Mastery Certified Health Coach, with a background in Functional Nutrition. Monika specializes in CranioSacral Therapy (CST) and releasing long held trauma from the body, gently. Monika helps clients recalibrate, repattern, and heal.

Monika’s passion for wellness, and health education is ALL about helping to simplify the science so people better understand what is going on inside their bodies. Monika's mission is to help people feel better, and to bring better health outcomes to the planet—one person—and their trillions of cells at a time!

Monika recently followed her heart and relocated to the Oregon Coast. She loves Depoe Bay--and our resident whales. She is delighted to join forces with us and can't wait to help you feel better too!

She is now accepting clients and booking immediately.
https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/service-menus/work-with-monika

For appointments, questions, or availability, please contact her directly: 360-536-8092

01/21/2026

I opened my email this morning expecting the usual.
Instead I received something that made me sit straight up in bed like a cartoon character.

WHAT JUST LANDED IN MY INBOX was NOT on my 2026 bingo card. 😌 Unplanned. Unexpected and VERY much about to change some things. 😌

I cannot say WHAT yet, but just know that this announcement is coming in the next couple of days and it is NOT small!

Stay tuned. Stay nosy. Mind your business but also absolutely don’t. 👀🔥