Kneading To Unwind

07/30/2025

🚨 TENSION EVACUATION ROUTE: THIS WAY TO MASSAGE 💆🏻‍♀️

🌊The tsunami threat may have passed, but let’s be honest, your stress levels are still at a Category 5.

That tight neck? The emotional damage? That one knot that’s been living rent-free in your shoulder since 2019?

Yeah… it’s time.

If you’re looking for the real escape plan, follow the arrow to Kneading to Unwind.

I’ve got the skills to evacuate your tension before your back files a disaster claim. 😌

🗓️Book now!

Appointments are filling faster than people were googling “how far inland is safe.”
kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

07/30/2025

Anything for my beautiful granddaughter ❤️

We would like to thank Kneading To Unwind for donating towards the purchase of a Flyer Stand for our cheerleaders to practice on. 😀 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

07/27/2025

I hate to break it to you, but Labubu just booked a massage!

That’s right, this chaotic pocket-sized menace with trauma bangs and the emotional regulation of a raccoon in a rave vest has taken one of your spots.

He walked in like he owns the place. Had glitter in his fur, a stress knot in his soul, and audacity in his eyes. Told me he’s been “carrying the weight of the entire collector’s market on his shoulders.”

Meanwhile you’re over here saying, “I really need to book soon.” Soon was yesterday!

Labubu beat you to it. He showed up early, did a dramatic hair flip, and booked your ideal day AND time.

Let that sink in.

A limited-edition stress goblin is getting regular self-care while you’re out here living with a neck cramp from sleeping wrong in 2019.

📍Book now. Or be outbooked by a chaotic forest goblin.

kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

07/20/2025

🚨 PSA from your favorite knot-busting Queen: Depoe Bay has a rare few massage openings this week and yes, your shoulders just twitched reading that. 👀💆🏻‍♀️

If your back feels like a bundle of bad decisions and your neck sounds like popcorn every time you turn it, this is your sign. Don’t wait until the next full moon to get in. 🌝

✨ Book online before someone else beats you to it. Because baby, tight muscles are not a personality trait. 😉

kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

07/19/2025

✨PSA: Don’t wait until you’re caught in 4K at a Coldplay concert with someone who definitely isn’t on your payroll… I mean… calendar. 😬🎤🌌

If your back is carrying the weight of lies, secrets, and an entire HR department’s disappointment, it might be time to book a massage.

We can’t fix your judgment, but we can help with that knot in your neck from ducking paparazzi and dodging accountability. 💆🏻‍♀️📸

Appointments are filling up faster than scandalous TikToks go viral. Don’t get caught slippin’, unless it’s on a freshly oiled massage table. 💅🏼

📍Book now. Stay out of trouble. Or at least look relaxed while you’re in it.
kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

07/13/2025

🚨 Heads Up, Massage Fam! 🚨

There’s a little schedule shake-up coming soon and it’s all about making room for more of YOU. 💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻

In the near future, I’ll be adjusting my hours to allow for:

✨ VIP sessions — for those rockstars who pre-pay and need a last-minute spot

🌊 Tourist time slots — because I’ve been turning away way too many sore vacationers

🚑 Emergency appointments, for when your back’s throwing a tantrum and needs a timeout

To make this magic happen, availability between appointments will be tighter, so I kindly ask that you:

⏰ Arrive on time (fashionably late doesn’t work here, your session time still ends as scheduled, that policy will remain the same)

🧠 Plan ahead when possible, especially for regular sessions

This change is meant to help me be a little more available to everyone, while still keeping the quality of care high and the stress levels low for both of us. 😉

Thanks for rolling with the changes and always being amazing.

kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

07/10/2025

💡 Did You Know?

Heat, dehydration, and all that summer fun can leave your body feeling stiff, swollen, or just plain tired.

Massage improves circulation and helps your body recover from sun-fueled stress.

Whether you’re fresh off a beach day or burnt out from summer chaos, book your reset.

👉🏼 kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

07/04/2025

🎆 Happy 4th of July! 🇺🇸

May your snacks be endless, your drinks stay cold, and may you avoid becoming the “firework injury story” of the group.

Remember:
🔥 Light fireworks, not your eyebrows.
🌭 Eat responsibly (aka, 5 hot dogs max).
💆‍♀️ And if you pull a muscle chasing a rogue sparkler… you know who to call next week.

Stay safe and remember to keep all 10 fingers.
❤️💙🤍

06/30/2025

💅💄THE QUEEN OF LASHES IS 21! 👑🍸

Happy 21st birthday to my daughter, business bestie, and the glam behind Nat’s Lash Lab!

She’s now officially old enough to pop bottles legally — and trust me, she’s been practicing this strut like it’s NYFW and she’s front row with a martini in hand.

So help me in wishing this lash queen and birthday baddie a Happy 21st Birthday - and if you’re feeling generous feel free to buy her a birthday drink 🍹👇

Venmo:
CashApp: $mobnat

06/29/2025

Kneading to Unwind is Clocking Out for a Bit! 🎉

We will be CLOSED starting June 30th and will reopen on July 8th - because there’s a very important celebration happening…

🥳 Nat is turning 21 and we’re off to celebrate her like the queen she is! (Yes, we’re bringing sunscreen, Advil, and probably a piñata. Don’t ask.)

During this time, we will not be responding to text messages, calls, or voicemails. We’re fully committed to relaxing, recharging, and probably trying to remember where we left our sunglasses.

🧖‍♀️ We’ll be back July 8th, refreshed and ready to work out your post-holiday weekend knots!

Thanks for your patience & understanding—cheers to Nat’s big 2-1! 🎂🍹🎈

06/26/2025

When even aliens know the importance of self-care… what’s your excuse?

If you’ve been carrying the weight of the universe (or just your kids, your job, and your general life chaos) on your back—it’s time to phone home and book that massage.

Don’t wait for a blue alien with magic fingers to land in your backyard. Come see a licensed human instead. 😌💆‍♀️💆‍♂️

✨ Book online and let’s get you feeling out of this world.
kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

06/22/2025

💆🏻‍♀️✨ Book now. Enjoy now. Pay later.
Yes, you read that right — I accept Afterpay!

That means you can treat yourself to the massage you deserve without side-eyeing your bank account. 🫣

Relax now… worry about it (a little) later. 😌
Split your payment into four, and your stress into zero.

✨Book Now ✨
👉🏼 kneading2unwind.massagetherapy.com

Let’s get those knots out — financial and muscular.