01/10/2026
Try this opener if you don’t know how to start — it gives you a calm, caring way to bring up planning without sounding scary or dramatic.
When to use it
- When you want to talk with a partner, parent, or adult child about “what if” topics.
- When you’ve been putting it off because you don’t want to stress anyone out.
- When you want the conversation to feel like care, not control.
The simple opener (script)
“I’ve been thinking about what matters to me if something unexpected happens. I’d like to make things easier for you. Could we talk for 20 minutes this week?”
Why this works
- It starts with your feelings, not their mistakes.
- It frames planning as a gift: less confusion, fewer hard decisions later.
- It asks for a short, specific time (20 minutes) which feels doable.
How to say it gently
- Send it as a text first if an in-person talk feels heavy.
- Swap in your own words: “I want to make things easier for you” → “I want to take some pressure off you.”
- If they’re hesitant: “We don’t have to decide everything. Just one small first step.”
If you want a simple next step
End the 20 minutes by agreeing on one thing to capture (for example: who to call, where key documents are, or what matters most in a tough situation).
Need more gentle wording and tips? The Gentle Approach.
Read more here >> https://loom.ly/QCjN4ts
