Portia On Purpose

07/15/2025

You are not getting old.
You are getting stiff.
Seek flexibility.
Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally

07/15/2025

Let me just say this.... If you listen to Andrea read this poem... and if yiu have ever lost anyone who mattered to you....or you have contemplated losing them...or being the lost one.... YOU WILL CRY and BE HEALED in the same moment. I unraveled listening to them read this about themself and dedicated to their partner. WORDS MATTER!!!!! 😭😭😭

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/16Z3Q2ivi6/

07/15/2025

07/10/2025

Charlotte North Carolina....here I come 🫠
Excited about the opportunity to share my professional knowledge and lived experienced.

Grateful to Get at this work.
Presenting 2 sessions at the Black Girls in Social Work Homecoming Conference 2025.

07/03/2025

05/30/2025

One of the most neglected aspects of mental health is ACCESS to care and support. Despite the growing awareness of mental health issues, many people still struggle to find affordable, accessible, and culturally competent care.

Another overlooked factor is PREVENTION—we often wait until a crisis hits before seeking help, rather than proactively building emotional resilience and coping strategies. Stigma also plays a huge role, preventing people from openly discussing their struggles and seeking support.

Additionally, SOCIAL DETERMINANTS, such as poverty, discrimination, and lack of community resources, are frequently ignored in mainstream conversations. Mental health isn’t just about individual well-being—it’s deeply connected to systemic issues that affect entire populations.

What do you think—have you noticed any other aspects of mental health that don’t get enough attention?

05/26/2025

Dealing with stress, joy, setbacks, and triumphs? Some people approach this ride with a dichotomous mindset—they see things in black and white, good or bad, success or failure. It’s like they’re flipping a coin and saying, “Heads, I’m thriving. Tails, I’m doomed.” This kind of thinking can be rigid and limiting because it doesn’t leave room for nuance. If you fail at something, you might think, “Well, I’m just terrible at this,” instead of recognizing that failure is part of growth.
Now, enter dialectical thinking, which is more like a dance between opposing ideas. Instead of choosing between two extremes, dialectical thinking says, “Hey, maybe both can be true at the same time.” It’s the art of holding contradictions and finding balance. For example, you can be frustrated with your job AND grateful for the paycheck. You can love someone AND be annoyed by them. Dialectical thinking allows for flexibility, growth, and a more realistic view of life’s complexities.
So, if dichotomy is a rigid “either/or” approach, dialectic is a fluid “both/and” perspective. One keeps you stuck in extremes, while the other helps you adapt and evolve. Life is messy, unpredictable, and full of contradictions.
The more we embrace dialectical thinking, the better we can ride the waves without wiping out.

05/23/2025

Crying is not weakness. It is Wellness.
Today, I woke up tearful, grateful and sad. Yep! All these states of being at the same time.
I am actively grieving the birthday of an ancient and profound friend. It’s been several years since he transitioned and yet the hurt of losing him surfaces like new at different times and for some known and unknown reasons. Grief is timeless. The saddest part is not knowing that the last time I saw him was indeed the last time. We ate Asian food (on my lunch break) which was not his favorite, but mine. He wore a white three buttoned polo (his favorite style) and khaki pants. He was an impeccable and intentional dresser with his own style. He picked at the food. We laughed. He patiently and gracefully watched me devour it, steam and all.
That image sums up who and how he was: Particular, present, patient and kind. His favorite phrase was “Love is an action word!”. He embodied that for me in a way that I could not understand as the version of myself I was then. Now, years and many tears later, I get it. Love has less to do with what you say and more to do with how you show up for yourself and others because of who you are and what you believe about yourself and them. That is the gutting part of the grief….that the lessons didn’t hit this deep until he was gone.
Today will be a tearful day. I’ll cry and laugh and reflect. He was quite a character.
I have been exhausted lately, thinking I need “rest”. While that is true, what I have actually needed the most is to allow my grief to surface, to come up for air, to breathe, to stretch and to see the Sun and to relieve itself of the burdens of regret, loneliness, isolation and longing.
Crying is not weakness. It is Wellness.
Crying is a fundamental part of emotional healing, acting as a bridge between distress and resolution. When we allow ourselves to cry, we create space for emotions to be fully experienced, rather than stored away or dismissed. Crying is an essential mechanism for emotional regulation—helping individuals integrate difficult experiences, process grief, and restore balance in the nervous system.
In therapeutic contexts, crying often marks a breakthrough. It allows the release of built-up tension and fosters deeper self-awareness. This is particularly beneficial for individuals who struggle with emotional repression, as tears can signify an opening up to vulnerability and self-acceptance. I encourage you to see tears not as a failure of control, but as a necessary and natural response to pain, overwhelm, or even profound joy.
Crying also plays a role in cognitive processing. The emotional catharsis that follows a good cry often leads to clearer thinking, improved problem-solving, and a greater ability to reflect on challenging experiences with perspective and insight. When combined with other healing practices—such as mindfulness, journaling, or somatic therapies—crying can become a powerful tool for personal growth.

05/22/2025

As a psychotherapist, I can affirm that effective communication is foundational to mental health—both in therapeutic settings and in daily life. Here are the top ten reasons why effective communication is beneficial for mental health:

1. Reduces Internal Stress and Anxiety
When individuals can clearly express their thoughts and feelings, it reduces the emotional burden of bottling things up, which often contributes to anxiety and stress.

2. Enhances Self-Awareness
Verbalizing emotions helps people process and understand their own inner experiences, leading to greater self-insight and emotional clarity.

3. Builds Stronger Relationships
Healthy communication strengthens interpersonal bonds. Feeling heard and understood fosters emotional safety and connection, which are vital to mental well-being.

4. Prevents Misunderstandings and Conflict
Clear and assertive communication can reduce unnecessary conflict and the emotional toll that comes from feeling misjudged, dismissed, or unheard.

5. Improves Problem-Solving and Coping Skills
Expressing concerns effectively leads to collaborative problem-solving, rather than emotional reactivity or avoidance, which supports resilience and emotional regulation.

6. Validates Emotions and Experiences
Being able to name and express emotions—and have them validated by others—reinforces a sense of worth, belonging, and psychological safety.

7. Encourages Healthy Boundaries
Effective communication empowers people to set and maintain boundaries, which protects mental health and prevents burnout, resentment, or codependency.

8. Reduces Feelings of Isolation and Loneliness
Sharing one's inner world with others cultivates connection and reduces the sense of being alone in one’s struggles, which is a protective factor against depression.

9. Promotes Self-Advocacy
When individuals can articulate their needs and values, they are more likely to advocate for themselves in work, healthcare, and relationships, enhancing autonomy and empowerment.

10. Supports Therapeutic Progress
In therapy, communication is the vehicle for change. Being open and honest in dialogue with a therapist facilitates healing, insight, and emotional growth.

05/21/2025

"Laughter is indeed good Medicine."

According to neuroscience research laughter:

reduces stress
boosts immunity
improves gut health
helps create "happiness" hormones
reduces pain sensitivity
strengthen muscles
improves circulation
lowers blood pressure

05/14/2025

What do you do to express your creativity?

Do you feel more present and grounded?

Do you feel your head and your heart sync up when you are in that special, creative and vibrant space?

Having difficulty expressing yourself?
Create something.

1 + 1 = 3

05/08/2025

Nature nurtures mental health by reducing stress, improving mood, and enhancing cognitive function.

Green spaces and sunlight boost serotonin, while fresh air and movement increase energy and relaxation.

Exposure to natural beauty fosters mindfulness, creativity, and emotional resilience.

The rhythmic patterns of nature—waves, leaves rustling, birds singing—help regulate nervous system responses.

Studies show time in nature lowers anxiety and depression, promoting a sense of connection and peace within oneself and the world.