Ryan Huling - Counselor

03/18/2025

Grief is not just an emotion—it’s an unraveling, a space where something once lived but is now gone. It carves through you, leaving a hollow ache where love once resided.

In the beginning, it feels unbearable, like a wound that will never close. But over time, the raw edges begin to mend. The pain softens, but the imprint remains—a quiet reminder of what once was. The truth is, you never truly "move on." You move with it. The love you had does not disappear; it transforms. It lingers in the echoes of laughter, in the warmth of old memories, in the silent moments where you still reach for what is no longer there. And that’s okay.

Grief is not a burden to be hidden. It is not a weakness to be ashamed of. It is the deepest proof that love existed, that something beautiful once touched your life. So let yourself feel it. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself remember.

There is no timeline, no “right” way to grieve. Some days will be heavy, and some will feel lighter. Some moments will bring unexpected waves of sadness, while others will fill you with gratitude for the love you were lucky enough to experience.

Honor your grief, for it is sacred. It is a testament to the depth of your heart. And in time, through the pain, you will find healing—not because you have forgotten, but because you have learned how to carry both love and loss together.

~ Anonymous (author unknown)

**edited for fact check

02/08/2025

Here are my reflections on the song: May Day by Three Days Grace.

This song makes me think of the pressures of life, needing help, pretending to be fine and not asking for help. I think of men, myself and others, that feel they must be strong at all times and put up a brave front.

" We rise like passengers without a pilot."
This line could represent lack of mentorship/leadership and or men's isolation-concrete and felt. Where have all our heroes gone?

"It's hard to keep fighting when we're barely surviving."
I have felt that. Others, I am sure have felt that and feel that. It's hard to put up a brave front when we are struggling.

"We walk like dead people who haven't died yet."
It's killing us, pretending to be strong all the time. Many men are divorced from their hearts and weighed down by the pressures of life.

"We'll never say May Day."
We will never ask for help or admit our struggles is what that means to me.

Some common sayings that feed this mentality:
Never say die
Never surrender
I will sleep when I'm dead
Quitters never win
Just do it
God never gives us more than we can handle

I believe there are times when some of the above sayings are appropriate. The problem is when those types of sayings become absolutes; we're going down and unwilling to say May Day.

It's not weakness to admit your struggles.
It's not weakness to ask for help.

11/02/2024

"Greatness comes from developing a super power that adapts from the blow that almost killed you. We are most passionate about that which we are denied."

I found this tucked away in old folder of mine and I am not sure who wrote it. I may even have, but it is good stuff that I can relate to.

I had a blow that threatened to kill my career a couple of years ago. I was basically fired by a practice that I worked for. I had high hopes for my work at this place. I was basically told that I wasn't good enough for them. I had thoughts of giving up the work altogether, but I kept plugging along.

Not only did I keep plugging along but I had more motivation than ever to make my career as a counselor work. And guess what? My work paid off when I invested in myself and working for myself. I established my own remote private practice and things have been going very well for me since.

Our darkest moments can propel us to a bright future.

05/17/2024

Let's keep pretending we are fine Let's keep ignoring the darkness The darkness in ourselves The darkness in the world The darkness in those around us as long as we are "Happy" Everything is fine

Let’s keep pretending we are fine Let’s keep ignoring the darkness The darkness in ourselves The darkness in the world The darkness in those around us as long as we are “Happy& #82…

04/05/2024

The substance of life

What do you do when life beats you down? Can you be honest with yourself? Can you allow yourself to face the truth? To feel what you really feel? Or will you pretend that everything is fine?

03/17/2024

9 ways to cultivate stillness right now.

03/17/2024

We can be quick to deny our difficult emotions.

We mutter under our breath that "we're fine" as we shove aside anxiety, anger, or disappointment. But suppressing or attempting to “do away with” our emotions simply doesn't work. It only makes us feel worse.

By showing up to a difficult emotion and accepting it, we free ourselves to move beyond it. Acceptance is the prerequisite for positive change.

03/15/2024

Here are some fun facts for you! According to the CDC men make up nearly 80% of su***des. 80%!!! And the su***de rate is nearly FOUR TIMES higher for men than women. Why is this? Could it be that we are told over and over that we are the problem and to blame for every societal ill? Watch out for toxic masculinity?!...

Here are some fun facts for you! According to the CDC men make up nearly 80% of su***des. 80%!!! And the su***de rate is nearly FOUR TIMES higher for men than women. Why is this? Could it be that w…

03/15/2024

Here are some fun facts for you! According to the CDC men make up nearly 80% of su***des. 80%!!! And the su***de rate is nearly FOUR TIMES higher for men than women.
Why is this? Could it be that we are told over and over that we are the problem and to blame for every societal ill? Watch out for toxic masculinity?! Men are tired of the BS and increasingly they have no safe outlet to really express their manhood. So, they isolate, go figure?!
Men and boys are also much more likely to do a mass shooting. Pent up anger, loss of hope, no safe outlet. Isolation is a killer.

02/20/2024

What is Badassery? Brene Brown in her book: Rising Strong defines it and it's not what you think.

“When I see people stand fully in their truth. Or when I see someone fall down, get back up and say, “ damn, that really hurt, but this is important to me and I'm going in again. “ My reaction is: “ What a Badass!”

There are too many people today who instead of feeling hurt, are acting out their hurt. Instead of acknowledging pain they're inflicting pain on others. Rather than risking feeling disappointed they’re choosing to live disappointed.

Emotional stoicism is not badassery. Blustery posturing is not badassery. Swagger is not badassery. Perfection is about the furthest thing in the world from badassery. To me the real badass is the person who says, “ our family is really hurting. We could use your support. “
And the man who tells his son, “ it’s okay to be sad. We all get sad. We just need to talk about it.” And the woman who says, “ look, our team dropped the ball. We need to stop blaming each other and have some tough conversations about what happened so we can fix it and move forward. “

People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.” (Brene Brown)

02/15/2024

I made the mistake of watching the news this morning. Mass shooting at the super bowl parade? Why? 9 children shot and 1 innocent person killed. There was a man who stepped in and tackled one of the shooters apparently, so that is good. It could have been worse. Gotta love the CBS eye opener where they show you all these news stories in a few seconds....

I made the mistake of watching the news this morning. Mass shooting at the super bowl parade? Why? 9 children shot and 1 innocent person killed. There was a man who stepped in and tackled one of th…

02/14/2024

No one is exempt from pain and struggle. We are born into the fight. We all have fears and self doubts. What happens when we pretend or avoid these difficult thoughts and emotions? We can try to bury them in a number of ways. But they don't go away, really. And the irony is, the more we avoid, the more it builds under the surface....

No one is exempt from pain and struggle. We are born into the fight. We all have fears and self doubts. What happens when we pretend or avoid these difficult thoughts and emotions? We can try to bu…