04/16/2026
If you coach or parent a female athlete, I want you to think about the last time she was complimented on something she worked hard for.
Did she accept it? Or did she immediately deflect attribute it to luck, minimize it, change the subject?
Most of us have watched this happen so many times we've stopped noticing it. It looks like modesty. It reads as likable and appropriate.
But underneath it, something else is happening. The athlete who can't receive accurate feedback about her own work eventually stops believing it. She starts attributing her results to anything other than herself. And quietly, without anyone noticing, she starts pulling back because if you're not willing to own your wins, you unconsciously stop reaching for them.
This isn't a confidence problem. It's a cultural one. And it starts earlier than most people realize.
I wrote about it this week on the blog. If you've ever watched a talented athlete shrink when she should have stood up straight this one's worth a read.
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