04/12/2026
Last night, I had the pleasure to hear Gabor Maté speak. His writings and teachings on addiction and trauma have fundamentally changed how we understand human suffering, not as pathology to be judged, but as adaptation to be understood. He spoke at length about freedom last night and this stirred something important in me that I have been contemplating this morning.
He spoke about how little of our behavior is truly “free” in the way we imagine. So much of what we call choice is shaped by conditioning: family imprinting, trauma, nervous system adaptations, cultural programming. If trauma has wired the brain for survival, then our reactions are often not conscious decisions at all, but automatic responses arising from old wounds. In that sense, what feels like free will may often be our past living through us.
I understand his point, and I deeply appreciate the compassion in it. It removes shame from human behavior and helps us see that many of our struggles…addiction, reactivity, self-sabotage, are not moral failings but patterned adaptations.
And yet, this is where I part ways with him.
Because while our conditioning may shape our first impulse, I still believe there is a sacred space in us that can intervene.
Viktor Frankl wrote that between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space lies our power to choose. I believe that space can be buried, narrowed, and obscured by trauma, but not erased. The work of healing is expanding that space.
This is where mindfulness becomes revolutionary. Practices like meditation, breathwork, contemplative pause, and disciplined self-observation strengthen our capacity to witness the pain body without becoming it. As Eckhart Tolle teaches, when unconscious emotional pain is triggered, it seeks to take us over, but awareness interrupts identification. Awareness creates choice.
Trauma and conditioning may condition the nervous system, but consciousness can recondition it.
Mindfulness is how we reclaim authorship over our lives, not by denying our imprinting, but by becoming aware enough to stop being ruled by it.
That, to me, is true liberation: not freedom from having been shaped, but freedom to stop being unconsciously driven by what shaped us 🙏.