Thanks for taking the time to read my personal story of transformation. I share it with you not to gloat about my successes or to gain sympathy from strangers, but to connect with those who are struggling in the same ways I have struggled. I believe I have faced incredible challenges and traumas so that I could learn to heal, and go on to help others heal themselves in similar ways.
Perhaps you can relate to some of the things I’ve been through...
Until age 29, I lived my life in an almost constant state of stress and trauma. I had experienced so many different kinds of hardships as a child that my psyche was fragmented and I was not living in the same reality as everyone else. Instead, I was living in the hell my mind had created to try to protect me and help me survive. A hell where everyone was my enemy and no one, not even myself, could be trusted. I was in so much pain that on most days, I didn’t want to live on this planet anymore.
But something kept pushing me forward--the hope that I could heal and support others who had struggled with the same hardships I had to experience. It was the only thing that made sense to me.
Since age 13, I have been engaged in some kind of self-healing. First with therapeutic journaling as a teenager, then with yoga, mindfulness/meditation and entheogens as a young adult. During my NYU master’s program, I studied psychology, sociology and human behavior so that I could better understand what was happening to me and the therapeutic models designed to help others heal. I spent 6 years providing trauma counseling to young people and noticed that the more healing I gave to my clients the more I was healed.
I wish I could say that the 6 therapists I saw from age 6 to 29 helped me to heal. Unfortunately, because my relationship issues were so extreme, I unknowingly acted out the same patterns of distrust and dysfunction that I had learned as a child with my therapists. It seemed like no one could give me the support I actually needed and it perpetuated my social isolation.
In 2014, after my first trip to Burning Man and my mom’s death two weeks later, something clicked. I realized that I needed to stop depending on others to give me what I needed and instead take radical responsibility for my emotions and healing. I needed to be my own parent, because my mom was never going to be able to.
Over the last five years, I have been intensely engaged with my own personal healing from physical illness (auto-immune disorder), emotional and mental problems (emotional self-regulation, self-trust, trauma, abuse, alcoholism, suicidality, anxiety, self-harm, financial scarcity, and self-sabotage), social issues (social isolation, attachment dysfunctions, distrust, codependency, death/loss, and domestic violence), and spiritual disconnection (hopelessness, lack of trust/faith, and soul loss).
Now that I’ve healed on deep levels of mind, body and soul, most days I feel true happiness, freedom and safety. I trust in the universe and in the goodness of others in ways I have never felt in my life. I’m now in a healthy marriage with my soulmate (!) and we’re expecting our first child in January 2020. My life is exactly as I want it to be and I live every day with gratitude and love. Are there still challenges? Of course! But I have a strong foundation of self-healing tools to cope with them and bounce back with ease.
There’s nothing I want more than to teach and empower others’ self-healing, so that we can be leaders in creating a better world for everyone. I’m passionate about turning this chaotic, dysfunctional world into a place of healing and growth, and want to align with others who share this same vision. Team work makes the dream work. ;)
Interested in learning more? Follow me on social media and please feel free to reach out to me via private message with any questions you have. I’m here to help.
