Telos Counseling at Aslan Institute

Telos Counseling at Aslan Institute Online therapy for adult children of narcissistic parents.

Maybe you don't need too much help boosting your mood on a Friday... but just in case, take a peek! In fact, it might pr...
08/11/2023

Maybe you don't need too much help boosting your mood on a Friday... but just in case, take a peek! In fact, it might prove more useful on Monday, so be sure to save it!

Which boundary have you found to be the most vital for you? Which do you feel could use a little TLC?
08/10/2023

Which boundary have you found to be the most vital for you? Which do you feel could use a little TLC?

Mindset matters! The way we talk to ourselves matters. When you feel fear or shame, take a step back and try to notice w...
08/10/2023

Mindset matters! The way we talk to ourselves matters.

When you feel fear or shame, take a step back and try to notice what your inner monologue is saying (chances are it's not helpful). Then, try to be compassionate with yourself and reframe the situation you're in. The point isn't to change the situation (oftentimes that's not possible); the point is to change *ourselves* in how we perceive the situation.

Don't get me wrong -- we all need a good venting session every now and then! However, effective therapy is more than jus...
08/08/2023

Don't get me wrong -- we all need a good venting session every now and then! However, effective therapy is more than just word-vomiting your frustration to someone who gets paid to listen to you.

Effective therapy requires structure, boundaries, and goals. It's the therapist's job to utilize their education and training to implement the best interventions for each client. Also, it's the client's job to have at least a general idea of what they'd like to work on, and assert their needs if they feel like those goals aren't being addressed. (Pro-tip: if that idea seems terrifying to you, that may be a great place to start with a therapist 😉).

Psychotherapy isn't just for folks who are struggling with trauma; it can be helpful for anyone! Simply getting curious ...
08/07/2023

Psychotherapy isn't just for folks who are struggling with trauma; it can be helpful for anyone! Simply getting curious about yourself is a great place to start. One piece of insight can ripple out toward each person you interact with in this world.

When children aren't allowed to express their emotions or are actively taught that expressing them was a sign of weaknes...
07/28/2023

When children aren't allowed to express their emotions or are actively taught that expressing them was a sign of weakness, then that realm of their existence never fully develops.

Many adult children of narcissists may notice these emotional limitations simply because they were never encouraged or allowed to experience their own feelings growing up.

If this resonates with you, remember first and foremost that you're not broken! Practice exercising self-compassion in this moment. Although these opportunities were taken away from you, it wasn't your fault, and you now have the chance to strengthen this part of you at your own free will.

Children are wired to interpret their parents' words and actions as love. Over time, the messages children receive becom...
07/28/2023

Children are wired to interpret their parents' words and actions as love. Over time, the messages children receive become internalized and influence their beliefs about themselves and the world around them. This pattern continues into adulthood if left unchecked, as is often the case in narcissistic family systems.

This contributes to why some adult children of narcissists seek intimate relationships with people whose behaviors resemble their parents; they've internalized inconsistency, contradictions, and abuse as love.

Similarly, adult children of narcissists often have difficulty describing their personality, strengths, or aspirations. They learned as children that exploring and expressing these traits was unsafe because doing so was interpreted by a narcissistic parent as threatening.

The term "gaslight" has become quite the buzzword over the last few years, to the point that its meaning has been dimini...
07/25/2023

The term "gaslight" has become quite the buzzword over the last few years, to the point that its meaning has been diminished to "simple disagreements," some would argue.

The term seems to have originated from a 1938 play "Gas Light," in which a husband intentionally leads his wife to believe she's insane in order to steal from her.

The modern definition of "gaslighting" follows suit, and is described as a form of psychological manipulation meant to cause the victim to question their memories or perception of reality.

Over time the effects of gaslighting can lead someone to become confused about their lived experience, feel reduced mental stability, and lose confidence or self-esteem. As the victim's will whittles away, they can become increasingly dependent on the narcissist, perpetuating the tragic cycle of abuse.

Our culture heavily rewards instant gratification. Even in healthcare, we've all gotten used to relatively "quick" treat...
07/25/2023

Our culture heavily rewards instant gratification. Even in healthcare, we've all gotten used to relatively "quick" treatments for various physical symptoms. When it comes to therapy, it's easy to fall into the same trap of expecting immediate results: mental suffering sucks and you just want it to go away.

The catch, of course, is that therapy is a process!

Therapy is rooted in the power of relationship, and relationships take time. Digging into pain takes courage, consistency, and perseverance; it requires doing the work outside of the session so that those insights you discover lead to small changes over time.

When you need motivation, remember to reflect on your healing journey and how far you've already progressed. As you look toward your future, try your best to trust the process.

Remember that progress is never linear, folks! Allow yourself a moment every now and then to reflect on the small improv...
07/21/2023

Remember that progress is never linear, folks! Allow yourself a moment every now and then to reflect on the small improvements you've noticed. They all add up!

Oftentimes you can save yourself a lot of frustration when you become aware of what you CAN control versus what you CAN'...
07/13/2023

Oftentimes you can save yourself a lot of frustration when you become aware of what you CAN control versus what you CAN'T control.

No, the situation itself may not change, and that usually sucks. But accepting things for what they turn out to be can lead to a much more peaceful existence.

Address

4141 Old Sibley Memorial Highway
Eagan, MN
55122

Opening Hours

Monday 3pm - 7pm
Tuesday 11am - 5pm
Wednesday 11am - 5pm
Thursday 11am - 5pm

Telephone

+16122170650

Website

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