03/03/2023
When our babes are born, they completely rely on us to meet their needs.
One of the first things they can begin to do on their own is feed themselves (yes they can do this as early as 6 months, if we let them).
But we’re generally taught that we should feed them, so we take that power away.
Then, we might think we know better (for any number of reasons - growing too much, growing too little, having a hard time sleeping, seeking optimal nutrition...), so we stop them when they want to keep eating, or we push them to eat more. We force our food choices on them.
The message we’re sending is simple: I know your body better than you, just do what I say and you’ll be alright.
It only gets worse as babies grow into toddlers ,and then children, who try to take their power back. Telling kids “You need to eat this before you can eat/have/do that”. Straight up hiding veggies in other foods...
Our children are naturally intuitive. They know when we’re trying to pull one over on them. They know if we’re desperate for them to eat more/less/different.
So, if we’re going to make a change and allow them to be in charge - to decide what goes into their body, to TRUST themselves and their body, to be allowed to respond to the messages they get - then what can we do as parents??
We get to create an environment that fosters wellbeing. We get to provide opportunities for our children to learn about themselves and their bodies. We get to show them, by our own example, what it looks like to have a consensual relationship to self - honoring our bodies by nourishing them with foods that make us feel good and are enjoyable - Dare I even say taking pleasure in feeding ourselves.
Our children are watching us. They’re learning how and what to eat, AND they’re learning body autonomy and Radical Self-Love.
Let me be clear - this is NOT to induce guilt or shame in any form. The purpose of this message is to shed light on something that isn’t talked about enough. This looks different for every family. There’s so much at play here - the need for consent education, awareness of diet culture, the mother wound...I could go on and on. And to take it a step further, what it looks like will depend entirely on who your child is - where they are developmentally, how they best communicate, what kind of energy they have, what way of eating works best for their body. And yes, there are shortcuts to learning this stuff about them, so you don’t have to go down the long road of trial and error! Tho there will ALWAYS be trial and error, you can just shorten the learning curve a bit.
Being human is a wild ride, and playing the role of parent in this world is even wilder!
