02/06/2025
Enough Specialness
Specialness is a commodity, or so I thought. I grew up believing that if people told you you were special, it meant that you were taking from the “pool of special” and there was only a limited amount. Not everyone got to be special. For me, this meant that I was supposed to be special but of course, to never be too special, never stand out too much, never take more than your fair share because you might be taking away from someone else’s special. And so, like with all conditioned beliefs, this is the lens from which I have lived much of my life–trying to fulfill that which I am good at, just not being too good in case someone feels bad about themselves or doesn’t get their fair share of special.
I recently had the opportunity to examine this belief. During a small group class that was on its final Zoom meeting, someone posed a personal question and was seeking feedback. The teacher invited the class to chime in and offer their expertise. As soon as the question was posed, I received an intuitive hit, an answer but I didn’t respond. I kept my mouth shut, not even aware that I was holding back this information–I didn’t want to appear like a know-it-all, or someone who was trying to take the limelight, etc. Everyone weighed in with their feedback and during that short pause of silence where we were about to transition, I heard the command in my head, “Say it!” and so I did.
As soon as I offered the information that had come to me, the other person’s body relaxed a little. They let out a sigh, and simply said, “That really lands for me. That’s helpful. Thank you.” I didn’t think much of it until a follow up check-in where the person shared what insight they had received because of what I had offered them. That is when I realized, there is enough specialness for everyone. It is not a commodity. It’s life’s way of interacting through each of us so we can all be vehicles for good. Had I been unwilling to share my ‘specialness’ at that moment, this person would not have had the insight they needed to move forward. I don’t know the level of impact my words had and I don’t need to know. What I do need to understand is that I have to act when I am called to offer something. I am not responsible for making sure everyone feels special. I am responsible for serving in the biggest and best way I can and that feels so scary at times.
We have a responsibility to share our gifts! They serve no one living small little lives in our own heads, limiting ourselves. Just writing this and posting feels risky. What if no one likes it? What if no one reads it? What if someone makes fun of it? And yet, I am doing it because I feel called to do it. The outcome is not mine to determine. Mine is simply to act on that which I am called to act; to speak about that which I am called to speak; and to do that which fulfills my greater purpose, even when I don’t know what that is.
So now I am curious. Where have you felt yourself holding back–fearing you might be overstepping an imaginary limitation? What will you do differently today knowing that your version of special can only be delivered through you? How will you face that fear and do something different, no matter how big or small, so that your life moves forward in a more beneficial way?
Thank you for taking the time to read this and comment on it. I hope you find some value in it. I wish you a most pleasant day.
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