Purpose in Grace Counseling

10/15/2024

Children’s trust in parents ability to protect them offer a protective shield; that trust filters and makes bearable stressful life events

10/22/2023

09/06/2023

The infant brain is unique. It is not a miniature version of an adult brain. This might seem obvious, yet our culture expects infant brains to accomplish many adult brain tasks.

Many people are influenced to expect infants, 0-3 years to learn to:

Tolerate loneliness when awake and asleep

Self soothe or self regulate- go from a high stress state to a low stress state alone

Manage emotions like sadness, frustration, disappointment

Manage pain both emotional and physical

Play independently

Feed on a schedule

Sleep on a schedule

Parents are told they need to teach these things to babies. And I f they don’t, they are making their baby clingy and causing problems. This is absolutely false!

Infants can only begin to do these things when their prefrontal cortex starts to function at around age 3. These skills emerge slowly across childhood up to age 6 and beyond.

At each stage of development, it is only rational to expect an infant to use the brain circuits it has developed. We would not expect a 3 month old to use brain circuits that we know emerge in a 3 year old. It is comparable to asking someone who has only been exposed to English to summon the brain power and miraculously connect brain cells to understand French. Similarly we do not expect two 3 month old infants to have all of the same brain circuits. It takes time to develop complex brain circuitry and each infant’s brain makes circuits at its own pace.

Infants cannot use brain circuits they have not yet developed. We can support their brain development best by being responsive and nurturing. We don’t have to teach or force any of these things. When baby shows you they can do these things - that’s when they can do them.

When we attempt to teach infants complex concepts before their brain can handle them, it actually does accelerate their brain development but not in the way we want. When infants are taught developmentally inappropriate things, it can be stressful. It can accelerate and accentuate the brain development of fear circuits.

08/03/2023

Quote of the Day

08/03/2023

🩶🩶

So imperative!

06/06/2023

Thought for the Day.
Lovely words..........................