Lisa Grossenbacher, LCSW

11/04/2025

Yes!
The best BIP in the world won’t regulate a child if there’s not a present, frontloading adult helping them through a melt down.

09/22/2025

Yes! This is why we regulate instead of punish!

07/21/2025

09/25/2024

07/15/2024

Post inspired by some client sessions of late, during which, put simply, parents have argued — ARGUED — about **whether it's okay to say nice things to their child.** Let that sink in. It seems we're — as thoughtful, aware, well-intentioned, aspirational cycle-breaking parents — perhaps taking it a bit too far. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​And, I mean, I get it. There is so much — too much, in my opinion — information about these kinds of things out there in the social media-verse, and we'll all find any excuse we can to make ourselves feel bad about something in the way we parent. Amirite?

And yes, per Subtitle #2, there IS a lot of really interesting research about different kinds of praise and the impact it may or may not have on kids, studies about specific vs. general, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, praise in the context of treatment for child behavioral issues, etc., etc., etc.. If you are inclined to dig into that, then great (see Subtitle #4). Off the top of my head, I have no doubt that both and , among many others, have posts that do a great job of breaking it all down.

But please, please, PLEASE do not lose the forest for the trees here (Subtitle #5). Everyone likes to hear kind things, and say kind things, and when we start overthinking what feels right, then feel confused at best and guilty at worst, we're not doing anyone — our kids least of all — a service.

So breathe. And go ahead and tell your little one that you think their latest finger painting is just awesome, that seeing it totally brightened your day.

06/08/2024

I repeat: eye on the ball, people. Come on, now.​​​​​​​​​.​​​​​​​​​.

03/08/2024

When emotions are high, the best response is no words, no advice, and no lecture.

When kids are angry, frustrated, sad or worried, they don’t need us to step in and talk about how they need to act or feel. When adults do that, it’s typically to soothe their own worries and concern and it doesn’t help kids feel any better. It only amps up their anxiety and stress.

Kids just need us to be a calm presence and to take the time to hear them. They don't need us to fix them or the situation.

Often, all our children need is a hug, a small gesture like a hug and a calm supportive presence is enough.