Fabiola Ekleberry, LPC-S, NCC

08/22/2025

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When we are busy, do we really listen to our children? Probably not because we’re often lost in our own thoughts, lost in our to-do-list and this is when our ability to really listen gets pushed aside and we find ourselves only half present to what our child wants to say. When this happens, our child doesn’t feel that there was even a chance to be heard.

Most of the time, we just want our child to listen to what we want them to do - we want a fast response because our thoughts are so full of all that we need to do that we fall short when it comes to really listening to them and this is results in their negative behavior.

So how can we expect our child to really listen to us when the model that we’re giving them is the opposite?

Parenting is so hard but when we make mindfulness a daily practice we take small steps towards change.

Listening takes conscious effort especially when it means being mindful because in the “space” we create when we really listen we validate our child as a valuable member of the family. We validate our child’s right to be heard instead of feeling dismissed. We validate that they are important.

When we really listen to our child, we actually take the focus away from our need to defend our opinion or thoughts about what should happen or what we want to make our child do. Instead we create a loving space where the focus is solely on listening and being present.

After all, what they really want is our presence and to be heard!

Being heard is communication
Being heard builds trust
Being heard increases compassion
Being heard reduces conflict
Being heard lessens misunderstandings
Being heard deepens relationships

Quote: L.R. Knost
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via We Nurture Collective