05/28/2019
Unfortunately, our culture has created an atmosphere in which men and women often feel ashamed regarding the challenges and symptoms associated with “pelvic floor dysfunction”.
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In working with female pelvic health patients, I have become comfortable discussing highly sensitive topics; bathroom habits, sexual in*******se, childbirth stories, and more. Of course these conversations always have professional boundaries to protect the patient’s dignity as well as to maintain a healthy “doctor-patient” relationship.
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I’m struck by the number of times I hear, “I’m so embarrassed”, “I haven’t told this to anyone”, “Is this too much information?”. It’s often the first time anyone has asked women the questions we ask in the initial pelvic health physical therapy evaluation, and it opens up discussions that many women have never had. The irony is that many of the symptoms that these women are experiencing and feel ashamed about are really common, just not talked about.
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I am a big fan of Brené Brown and her research on shame. Brown says the antidote to shame is empathy. She explains that by talking about your shame with a friend who expresses empathy, the painful feelings cannot survive.
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Yes, these intimate topics probably aren’t appropriate for discussion at a dinner party, or when first getting to know someone. However, let’s take Brené’s wisdom to heart. Maybe we can be become more comfortable with listening to what our wives, sisters, and girlfriends are experiencing. We can ask them how they are feeling after childbirth or while they journey through the transition of menopause.
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We can listen to their response without judgment and express empathy to extinguish unnecessary shame. We can remind them that they are not alone, and encourage them to seek appropriate treatment. Eliminating the stigma, shame, and isolation they are experiencing may be half the battle when it comes to their healing process from issues related to their pelvic health
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