Rachel Bernstein, LMFT

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United States
Encino, CA
Rachel Bernstein, LMFT

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, and educator who treats children, adults, couples and families.

12/12/2025

Faith, at its best, brings peace, connection, and meaning.

But when it’s used to shame, isolate, or control, that’s spiritual abuse.

If your faith community uses fear to keep you obedient, that isn’t devotion, it’s manipulation.

If questions are treated like rebellion, or doubt is called sin, that isn’t guidance, it’s control.

True spirituality invites you to explore, to feel safe in uncertainty, and to form a personal connection to what you believe.

Control-based religion demands blind loyalty and punishes independence.

You are allowed to redefine faith in a way that feels kind, safe, and real to you.

More importantly, healing doesn’t mean losing your spirituality, it means freeing it from fear.

If you’re healing through an experience of manipulation, I created a tool for self guided support.

The Restart and Restore Journal is available now on Amazon.

https://bit.ly/restartandrestore

12/11/2025

Check out this podcast episode with Brian Recker, a former Evangelical pastor who made the decision to step away from ministry in 2020.

Brian opens up about something many people silently struggle with: how the fear of hell is used to control behavior, shape identity, and keep people from questioning harmful teachings. His story is honest, grounded, and deeply relatable for anyone who has ever felt trapped by fear-based doctrine.

We also talk about what life looks like after leaving a high-control religious environment, how he rebuilt his beliefs, and why he decided to write a book about the experience.

If you’re deconstructing, healing from spiritual abuse, or simply curious about what happens when someone chooses freedom over fear, this is a conversation you’ll want to hear.

🎧 Listen now & let me know your thoughts. Available wherever you listen to podcasts.

https://bit.ly/IndoctriNationBrianRecker

12/10/2025

Healing doesn’t always feel like progress and that’s okay.

It’s not about “getting over it.” It’s about learning how to live with truth, not fear.
It’s the small, quiet moments telling you that you’re changing:
When you say no without apologizing.
When you rest and don’t feel guilty.
When you laugh, and it feels genuine again.

Healing is letting your nervous system relearn safety. It’s allowing your thoughts to belong to you again. It’s reclaiming your time, your boundaries, and your peace.

You might not even notice it happening until one day you realize you reacted differently, spoke up sooner, or felt calm where you once felt panic.

That’s what healing actually looks like.

I’m Rachel Bernstein, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Cult Specialist. I wrote the Restart & Restore Journal and Companion Notebook to provide a clear framework for recovery, and self-discovery.

Available now on Amazon.
https://bit.ly/restartandrestore

12/09/2025

So many survivors ask, “How could I not see it?” or “Why did I stay so long?”

But you didn’t “fall for it.” You were trained to ignore your instincts, to question your own reality, and to equate obedience with safety.

You might have said “yes” when really you meant “no” or even “maybe”.

That’s what coercive control does. It mixes fear with love and rewards compliance with belonging. It teaches you that survival means silence.

Remember, it’s not weakness.

It’s how manipulation works. You were surviving in the only way you could with the information and safety you had at the time.

The shame you’re carrying isn’t yours. It belongs to the people who used your hope and trust as weapons.

Interested in continued healing from your experience? I created the Restart & Restore Journal and Companion Notebook for you. Available now on Amazon!

https://bit.ly/restartandrestore

12/08/2025

Commitment and control might look similar from the outside, but inside, they feel completely different.

Healthy commitment comes from choice. You show up because you want to, because it aligns with your values and brings meaning to your life.

High-control, on the other hand, comes from fear. You show up because you’re scared of what will happen if you don’t.

One gives you energy. The other drains it.

In healthy spaces, your voice is heard, and questions are welcomed. In high-control spaces, silence is rewarded and independence is seen as betrayal.

If a group demands loyalty but punishes individuality, that isn’t devotion, it’s obedience built on fear.

Healthy commitment inspires growth. High-control requires surrender.

Does that resonate? Let me know in the comments below ⬇️

12/05/2025

It feels magical at first… constant attention, affection, and validation. You think, “Finally, someone sees me.”

But that’s not love. That’s love bombing.

It’s a tool used to pull you in fast. The goal is to make you dependent on their approval, so when they withdraw it, you’ll do anything to get it back.

Real love doesn’t keep score or make you earn affection.

If it feels too perfect too soon, pause and look closer.

Think this may be what is happening to you but want clarity in knowing? Start with my Restart and Restore Journal. As a licensed therapist I created this tool to help you unpack your unique situation. ♥️

12/04/2025

Here’s what I wish more people understood: no one joins a cult on purpose.

People follow a promise.

A promise to belong.
A promise of clarity.
A promise of purpose and safety in a confusing world.

High-control groups know this and they use it. They offer the comfort of certainty in exchange for your independence.

They promise unconditional love, community, and meaning.

At first, it feels like everything you’ve been looking for. You finally feel seen, supported, and understood.

But over time, the warmth starts to feel conditional. The “love” comes with rules. The safety becomes surveillance.

Questioning is called rebellion. Leaving is treated as betrayal.

And before you realize it, the same hope that drew you in is being used to keep you from leaving.

That’s how manipulation works. It doesn’t look dangerous at first. It looks like acceptance.

It looks like belonging.

Understanding this matters, because when we replace judgment with compassion, we help survivors heal.

We stop asking, “Why didn’t you just leave?”

And start asking, “What did you need that they promised to give you?”

No one joins to be controlled, they join to be loved.

And it’s that very longing for love and safety that deserves our empathy, not our criticism.

12/03/2025

Control doesn’t always shout. Sometimes, it whispers. We call this the quiet side of control.

It might sound like:
“You’re the problem.”
“No one else gets you like we do.”
“If you leave, you’ll regret it.”

These aren’t signs of love or loyalty, they’re actually ways to keep you dependent. True care gives you freedom to grow, while manipulation keeps you small so you don’t realize how powerful you are without them.

Interested in walking through this? I have created resources and tools to help you.

Available on Amazon! https://bit.ly/restartandrestore

12/02/2025

Not every close knit community is a cult. The difference is in how much control they have over your thoughts, choices, and freedom.

A healthy group invites you to question, explore, and think for yourself.

VS.

A high-control group does the opposite… it tells you what’s right, who to trust, and what will happen if you leave.

If your belonging depends on silence, fear, or obedience, it’s not belonging at all; it’s control disguised as care.

11/18/2025

This interview was too good not to share again!

From a polygamist cult in rural Mexico to a life built on freedom and purpose, Pamela Jones’ story is one of the most powerful transformations I’ve ever heard.

Born into the Church of the Firstborn of the Fullness of Times, Pamela was raised to believe her only purpose was obedience, to serve a husband and bear children.

After 17 pregnancies and years of abuse, she did the unthinkable: she gathered her nine children and escaped.

Today, Pamela is a successful business owner, speaker, and author. She is a woman who turned survival into strength, and control into clarity.

In this interview, she shares what it takes to rebuild a life after indoctrination and how freedom is never out of reach, no matter where you start.

The full conversation is available on my YouTube channel 🎙️

11/17/2025

Healing after control doesn’t usually happen in one conversation or one breakthrough moment.

It often happens in quiet spaces, pen to paper, page by page, as you start to remember what safety feels like.

That’s where the Restart and Restore Journal comes in.

Imagine sitting down and opening to a page that asks you: “What did safety feel like before someone told you who to be?”

You likely pause, then you write, not to be perfect, but to be honest. And for the first time, your story has a place to land that isn’t filled with judgment or fear.

This journal was created for those moments! It was made for survivors of control, manipulation, or abuse who are ready to rebuild clarity and self-trust. Each prompt helps you unpack the layers: the beliefs planted by others, the emotions you’ve silenced, and the voice that’s still yours beneath it all.

Healing does not mean you are forgetting what happened. It’s remembering who you are, and have always truly been, underneath it.

Get yours on Amazon today! https://a.co/d/cT0ee2A

11/16/2025

When it comes to talking to your loved ones, the fastest way to close a door is by being judgmental.

The fastest way to open one is by prioritizing the connection, being openly curious and willing to truly listen.

Address

16255 Ventura Boulevard
Encino, CA
91436

Telephone

+18189070036

Website

http://www.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/

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