Sandy Pedram, Esq., LMFT

10/13/2025

ACCOUNTABILITY, A LACK OF IT, is the main cause of relationships coming apart, relationship death. Thank you Chris Perry for this:

**NEVER TRUST A MAN WHO gets upset over your reactions to his actions!**
You got mad because of what he did, and now he’s mad because you reacted. Then he tries to gaslight you by saying you’re “always arguing,” or that you “create negativity.” No — that’s not you being dramatic. That’s *manipulation.* That’s *narcissistic behavior.* You don’t get to hurt people and then play the victim when they call you out.

This is one of the oldest tricks in the narcissist’s playbook — provoke a reaction, then use that reaction to shift blame. They’ll ignore the root cause of your feelings and focus only on how you expressed them. Suddenly, it’s not about their betrayal, disrespect, or dishonesty anymore — it’s about your “tone,” your “attitude,” or how you “overreacted.” It’s emotional warfare disguised as a misunderstanding.

They create chaos, watch you respond in pain or anger, and then point the finger back at you, saying, “See? You’re the problem.” It’s a cycle designed to silence you. Because the moment you start questioning your own reactions, they win. You stop defending yourself, you stop speaking up, and you start walking on eggshells — trying to manage *their* emotions while abandoning your own.

But let’s be clear: having an emotional reaction to being hurt is not wrong. It’s human. The real problem lies with the person who caused the pain and then refuses to take accountability for it. A mature, emotionally intelligent man will listen, reflect, and try to understand your feelings — not punish you for having them.

When someone truly cares about you, they’ll want to make things right, not twist things around to make you feel guilty for caring. A manipulator, on the other hand, will always try to make you doubt yourself.

So no, you’re not “too sensitive.” You’re not “starting drama.” You’re responding to disrespect that shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

Never trust a man who’s more offended by your reaction than his behavior. Because when someone tries to silence your truth — it’s not love. It’s control.

10/10/2025

Its so great to hear someone legitimize self-compassion in this way, rather than scold a person for repetition compulsion

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPEkuo5j5hK/?igsh=bmpqZnFwNzl6OTlv

09/20/2025

Choose your hard

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DN2bX7x5r0L/?igsh=a21nYXRhMTc5dXBn

09/09/2025

09/08/2025

To my dear clients who come in with shattered trust in the goodness of the world, a loss of innocence, after the experience of NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: do not "underestimate the moral structure of reality," as Jordan Peterson says.

"The universe will avenge your perpetrator for "tearing apart the invisible threads that bind human beings together... There's a built-in mechanism in the fabric of reality that rejects that kind of behavior eventually because truth has weight... justice unfolds, not instantly, not always visibly, but inevitably...Truth, time, and consequence. These are the tools through which divine justice moves through the world and they are far more effective than any human retaliation could ever be...STAND IN TRUTH...Truth is like gravity. It doesn't care whether you acknowledge it or not...eventually reality asserts itself...Consequence when born of truth and filtered through time hits where it matters most. It doesn't always strike publicly. It shows up in the narcissists inner world: anxiety, emptiness, fear, instability...consume them...[they] become incapable of experiencing real connection, peace, or meaning."

A narcissists target "may not see the process as it unfolds... may never witness the fall, but it's important to understand that JUSTICE ISN'T DEPENDENT UPON YOUR OBSERVATION. It's bigger than that. The very act of holding to the truth, refusing to repay evil with evil, refusing to become what hurt you, that's an alignment with divine order. That's how you stay connected to justice: not by pursuing revenge but by trusting the structure of reality to deal with those who violate it."

HAVE FAITH

09/02/2025

https://voyagela.com/interview/meet-sandy-pedram-of-sandy-p-pedram-esq-lmft/

Today we'd like to introduce you to Sandy Pedram. Hi Sandy, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story. I have always been philosophically intrigued by human relationships, behavior, and stories. These interests led me to study English Literature, Persian Liter

08/31/2025

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNlW98nsT1I/?igsh=MW1lYTJkajNjbm0ybA==

08/17/2025

Why do men suffer from insecurity so frequently on average: perhaps because the ideals of masculinity are so unforgiving and difficult to live up to, arguably more difficult than that of the feminine archetype. Men do the craziest things trying to prove their masculinity to themselves. In the context of Couples work, this comes up as defensiveness. Perhaps in popular parlance it might be referred to as dealing with a man's ego. Whatever one calls it, it is often what gets in the way of a couple's deeper intimacy and connection: a male partners refusal to acknowledge, as Jung might say, "the roots within him that reach down to hell," his shadow.

08/13/2025

This is the REAL Iran: LOVE

https://www.instagram.com/p/DNJCM_SxQ6t/?img_index=12&igsh=MWxwbnZwcDE4d3Nsdg==

08/09/2025

The only way to be powerful in a relationship is to accept influence
-John Gottman

08/01/2025

Client's often wont stop and be still until they experience collapse, which often gets labeled as some form of depression. When the mind in it's sense of self-importance demands too much of the the soul and spirit, the body will often shut us down for a "deep rest." A client pointed this out to me today: that she heard Jim Carey refer to depression as a deep rest. Navigating the parodoxes of our every day lives as human beings can be so exhausting that everyone years for this at some point, DEEP REST

06/22/2025

Many clients who start psychotherapy with me are there because they’re struggling to reconcile/integrate the extreme good and extreme bad in a loved one