Debbie Dery, M.A, LMFT

05/25/2025

A narcissist often shows more warmth to strangers than to their own family. Their desperate need for admiration drives them to ignore those closest to them, prioritizing the approval of near-strangers instead. In private, they’re controlling, cruel, and calculating—shattering harmony at home while maintaining a flawless public image. Remember, a charming facade doesn’t reflect their true nature behind closed doors.

03/30/2025

What does RSD look like?

"Ever send a text, not get a reply, and suddenly you're the star of your own rejection-themed TED Talk? 🎤 That might be Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) crashing the party. It’s that overly dramatic inner critic, common with ADHD, that loves to take tiny moments and spin them into Shakespearean tragedies. 🎭 The truth? It's not rejection—it’s just your brain being a little *extra*.

Good news: there are ways to quiet the drama and take back the narrative.
🙏
"

03/29/2025

The integrity project-

Respect is genuinely valuing others—their rights, their perspectives, and their humanity.

It’s not about reinforcing a self-centered worldview that demands obedience, validation of superiority, or imposes conditional acceptance rooted in fear.

True respect is not transactional. It’s foundational.
🙏🌸

03/24/2025

Rumi's story about the elephant and the blind men is a profound parable that explores perception, understanding, and the nature of truth.

Here's a brief summary:

In the story, a group of blind men encounter an elephant for the first time. Each man touches a different part of the elephant and forms his own interpretation of what the creature is.
One touches the tusk and thinks it is like a spear, another touches the trunk and likens it to a snake, a third feels its leg and believes it's a tree, while another feels its side and says it’s a wall.
They argue fiercely, each convinced that their perspective is the only correct one.

Rumi uses this tale to illustrate how individual perspectives, while valid in their own right, often fail to grasp the entire truth. It's a reminder of the importance of humility, open-mindedness, and the recognition that reality is often more complex than what any single viewpoint can capture!

Happy Monday 🙏

03/21/2025

The integrity project-

Integrity builds trust.
When people see you're genuine and stick to your principles, it fosters respect and openness.
This authenticity allows for deeper connections, because people feel they can trust you with their true selves, leading to more meaningful, honest relationships. 💕🙏

03/19/2025

In a world of quick fixes and instant gratification,
integrity and
character building
stand out more than ever.
It's essential to nurture these qualities for healthier relationships and communities.

03/18/2025

You know that saying: ​"You can choose your friends but not your family?​"

The idea that we sometimes avoid family because it's easier to be around friends who don't challenge us as deeply is a perspective that isn't often considered.

Friends can be chosen based on mutual interests, values, and comfort levels, while family relationships are often more complex and harder to navigate.

It’s true that growth often comes from discomfort and facing conflicts, not avoiding them. When we avoid difficult family dynamics, it might feel like self-protection, but it could also be a way of avoiding necessary growth.

​However, Family relationships can push us to confront parts of ourselves that friendships might not.

​I​t is also valid to recognize when family relationships are genuinely harmful or abusive and create boundaries for self-preservation.

There's a balance between protecting ourselves from toxicity and avoiding challenges that could lead to personal growth.

Where do you draw the line between protection and personal growth?

Take control today!

02/28/2025

02/16/2025

Love Deepak Chopra’s
S.T.O.P to help prevent reactivity

Stop
Take three breaths
Observe
Proceed with compassion and awareness

Happy Saturday!
🙏

02/05/2025

02/03/2025

When You Overextend Yourself for Your Children

Take a moment to reflect on your intentions. Are you helping them grow, or meeting an emotional need of your own?

Sometimes, in doing too much, you may unintentionally boost your own sense of worth while diminishing theirs.

True support empowers them to build confidence, resilience, and independence.