11/13/2025
One of the most successful ways to be able to learn from and change your negative cycle is to look at your own side of it. Get started on this process of looking at your own side of the negative cycle by following these steps.
Identify the Trigger: What was the triggering event that made you first feel like something went wrong? Was it when your partner let go of your hand? Was it when your partner raised their voice? Was it when your partner walked away?
Name Your Physiological Response: Like any external stimuli, the trigger that started the negative cycle in your mind has an impact on your body. Maybe your heart started to race. Maybe your stomach tightened into knots. This is important information to have because it’s the first signal you get from your body that something is wrong.
Label Your Emotions: Believe it or not, just the act of naming your emotions has the power to be able to diffuse their intensity and to help other people more accurately understand how you were impacted.
Notice Your Meaning Making: Meaning-making is the part where you start to connect the dots between the “trigger” and the “emotion.” Not everyone reacts to a certain word choice, facial expression, or behavior the same way you do, and your meaning-making is typically connected to your past.
Connect Your Internal Response to Your Behavior: Realizing what action you use to stay safe when you feel a certain way is crucial in being able to slow down the negative cycle.
Share with Your Partner: Finally, in order to start conquering the negative cycle as a team, you can tell your partner about your trigger, bodily response, emotion, meaning-making, and behavioral reaction.
Learn more here: https://thrivefamilyservices.com/looking-at-your-side-of-the-negative-cycle/