LD Counseling Services

12/30/2025

Understanding the PDA Nervous System
Why It’s Not “Won’t,” It’s “Can’t”

If you really want to understand PDA, you have to understand the nervous system underneath it.
Because PDA isn’t about personality.
It’s not about behaviour.
It’s not about “choices.”
It’s a physiological profile, a brain-body system wired to detect pressure differently.
And once you understand that, everything about PDA makes sense.

A PDAer’s nervous system is built on protection first

Think of the PDA nervous system like a highly sensitive alarm system.
It wasn’t designed for compliance, it was designed for survival.

Demands, big, small, spoken, unspoken, all get processed as:
⚠️ pressure
⚠️ loss of autonomy
⚠️ potential overwhelm
⚠️ threat to safety

Not because the person is dramatic.
Not because they’re avoiding responsibility.
But because their body sends a signal that says:
“This is too much right now.”

So what counts as a “demand”?
Here’s the part many people miss:
• “Time to get ready.”
• “Can you turn off your game?”
• “Let’s go.”
• “Choose one.”
• Routines
• Expectations
• Social interactions
• Even their own goals or plans

For a PDAer, these can activate the same part of the nervous system that responds to danger.
This is why they may freeze, negotiate, avoid, explode, comply then collapse, or mask until burnout hits.

The PDA nervous system moves FAST
A PDAer can switch states quickly:

Regulated → Activated
A tiny shift in tone, urgency, or expectation can send them straight into fight/flight.

Activated → Panic
Once adrenaline hits, logical thinking shuts down.
You’re now dealing with a survival response, not a behaviour.

Panic → Shutdown
If they can’t escape the demand, their system may go flat, numb, or inward.

None of this is conscious.
It’s neurobiological.

Why the nervous system reacts this way.....
PDAers often have:
✔️ High interoceptive sensitivity (or low — both can be overwhelming)
✔️ High threat perception
✔️ High sensitivity to control
✔️ Difficulty regulating once activated
✔️ Strong need for autonomy to feel safe
✔️ Intense emotional experiences
✔️ Deep thinking + anxiety loops
✔️ A history of masking or misunderstanding

It’s a profile wired to stay in control to stay safe.

And here’s the part families need to hear:
When a PDAer resists, avoids, panics, argues, or shuts down when faced with a demand…
They are not being difficult.
They are not being oppositional.
They are not manipulating you.
They are protecting their nervous system the only way their body knows how.

What helps the PDA nervous system feel safe?
Predictability without rigidity
Collaboration instead of instructions
Declarative language (“I’m wondering…”)
Choice and autonomy
Low-pressure environments
Humour, connection, shared control
Pauses and gentle pacing
Interest-led engagement
Non-judgmental co-regulation
Removing shame from the equation

Safety first.
Connection second.
Then maybe ..... maaaaaaybe ......the demand can be explored.

If you take nothing else from this,
PDA isn’t a behaviour problem.
It’s a nervous system profile.
And once you support the nervous system, everything else can soften.

12/25/2025

Today, we pause to remember Officer Ashlee Stoneburner and to honor the life she lived and the good she brought into the world. Ashlee was a dedicated public servant whose compassion, commitment, and care for others left a lasting impression. Her life mattered, and her memory continues to matter.

As a department, we believe in looking out for one another—on duty and off. Let today serve as a reminder to check in, to listen, and to offer support when it’s needed. Small moments of connection can make a meaningful difference.

If you are struggling, or if someone you know may be, help is always available. You can call or text 988 to reach the Su***de & Crisis Lifeline. It is free, confidential, and available 24/7. Reaching out is a sign of strength, and no one has to face challenges alone.

Ashlee, thank you for your service and the light you shared.
You are remembered. You are valued.

12/24/2025

Wishing you a season with a little space to breathe and a few good moments that stick.
— LD Counseling Services

12/16/2025

✨ Little update ✨

I’ve officially finished my training and I’m now a Certified Integrative Mental Health Practitioner (CIMHP).

Integrative mental health looks at the whole person, including things like mental and emotional health, the nervous system, trauma, stress, hormones, nutrition, sleep, lifestyle, movement, somatics, and how all of that lives in the body and manifests in different ways for different people. It’s about understanding why symptoms show up and then creating a whole person plan to manage the root cause, not just trying to shut them down.

This approach feels very aligned with where Wild Rose Integrative Health is headed and the kind of care I want to keep building. Grateful for the learning, the people I get to work with, and… I’m super excited for all of the new stuff there is to come this spring! Stay tuned! 🤍🌿

12/10/2025

Recent brain scans have revealed that children living with unstable families where the child is exposed to endless arguing between the parents or themselves are abused/neglected, have brain changes similar to combat soldiers after returning from active duty. In some cases, the brains of abused children are in even worse shape than the combat soldiers.

Childhood trauma and the trauma experienced by combat soldiers can create similar, long-lasting changes in the brain’s structure and chemistry. The core reason is that the brain, whether developing or mature, adapts to a high-stress, unpredictable environment by entering a persistent state of hypervigilance, prioritizing survival over other functions.

The key difference lies in the context of the trauma. A child’s brain is still developing, making it highly susceptible to having its core structures and functions altered. A soldier’s brain, which is already mature, is changed by extreme stress but is less fundamentally altered than a child’s.

The shared neurobiological process: An over-activated alarm system.

Trauma forces the brain to initiate a “fight-or-flight-or-freeze” response for survival. When this state becomes chronic, it changes the brain’s baseline functioning, creating a state of constant, heightened alert. This process affects key brain regions involved in emotion, memory and rational thought.

12/10/2025

❤️‍🩹

Psychologists and pediatric neuroscientists agree that the single most harmful habit in a baby’s first year is chronic unresponsiveness to distress, often described as repeatedly letting a baby cry for long periods without comfort. MRI studies on infant brain development show that when a baby’s stress signals go unanswered again and again, cortisol levels rise and begin to affect the growth of the limbic system, the region responsible for emotional safety, trust formation, and long term stress regulation.

This does not refer to brief crying or normal daily challenges. Instead, research focuses on patterns where a baby’s emotional needs are consistently overlooked. Studies from major developmental labs show that lack of responsive caregiving disrupts neural wiring in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, shaping how the child will process fear, connection, and emotional resilience later in life.

Experts stress that babies are biologically wired to expect comfort. Responsive caregiving strengthens emotional security, lowers stress hormones, builds healthy attachment, and supports stronger cognitive outcomes. The goal is not perfection but presence. Simple acts like picking up a crying baby, making eye contact, or soothing during stress create powerful protective effects on the developing brain.

Understanding this helps parents shift from pressure to connection and gives babies the emotional foundation they need for life.

12/02/2025

Depression is not caused by a simple chemical imbalance and the new science is reshaping everything we thought we knew.

For decades people were told depression comes from low serotonin. It sounded clear and comforting but it was never the full story. New brain imaging research shows that depression is far more complex. It involves disrupted brain circuits, altered communication between regions, and changes in how the brain processes stress and emotion. It is not just one chemical. It is a network level shift.

Modern scans reveal that areas like the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and hippocampus behave differently during depressive episodes. Some regions become overactive. Others go quiet. The pathways that help you regulate fear, motivation, and decision making start misfiring. This is why depression can feel like losing control over your own thoughts. Your brain’s wiring is struggling to keep balance.

This does not mean serotonin plays no role. It means it is only one piece of a much bigger biological puzzle. Treatments work because they help the brain reconnect circuits, not because they simply raise one chemical.

The takeaway is powerful. Depression is real. It is biological. It is not weakness and it is not something you can talk yourself out of. Your brain is responding to overload and imbalance across entire systems.

Understanding this brings hope. It means new therapies can be designed to repair circuits, retrain patterns, and give people more precise and effective paths to recovery.

11/26/2025

🐛🍬💝

Sour candy can literally help stop a panic attack.

According to mental health experts, the intense flavor acts as a grounding technique—its sharp, jarring taste pulls attention away from overwhelming thoughts and into the immediate physical sensation.

This redirection can help interrupt the cycle of spiraling anxiety, bringing individuals back to the present moment. Additionally, the act of chewing and the surge in saliva production may support the body's calming response, offering a sense of control during distress.

While not a cure or replacement for therapy, this sensory-based strategy can serve as a quick, practical tool in moments of high anxiety. As noted by experts cited by Utah State University, sour candy can be particularly helpful in grounding exercises used during panic attacks. However, they caution that frequent or intense anxiety should always be assessed by a healthcare professional to ensure appropriate long-term care.

Source: Utah State University Extension. (2023). Managing Anxiety with Grounding Techniques.

Al-Ghaili O

UPDATE-
We are so grateful to everyone's reaction to this post. Please give us feedback if you have tried it and how it worked for you! And if you are able please follow us! Please donate and help us in our mission to continue to raise awareness and support parents and caregivers raising children with Complex Trauma! 💚
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Mailing Address
Attach Families Inc.
9805 Statesville Road Suite 6156
Charlotte, NC 28269
United States

EIN-83-2090828

11/14/2025

🐴🤎✨✨✨

11/11/2025

🙏❤️🤍💚🎄🎅🏻

10/30/2025

💪

Exercise outperforms medication in fighting depression, says massive new study

A groundbreaking study of 128,119 people has revealed something remarkable, exercise is more effective at reducing symptoms of depression than medication alone. Researchers found that physical activity, even in small amounts, significantly boosts mood, lowers anxiety, and improves overall mental well-being.

The study compared people who exercised regularly with those treated using antidepressant drugs. The results were clear: movement triggers powerful changes in the brain that medication can’t fully replicate. Exercise increases blood flow, enhances neuroplasticity, and releases endorphins and dopamine, chemicals that naturally lift mood and strengthen emotional resilience.

What’s most encouraging is that the type or intensity of exercise didn’t matter much. Walking, running, cycling, dancing, or strength training all helped. The key was consistency, moving your body regularly, even for 20 minutes a day, created lasting benefits.

While antidepressants can still be life-changing for many, this study shows that combining or even replacing medication with physical activity could transform how we treat depression.

Your body isn’t just made to move, it’s wired to heal through movement. Every step, stretch, or sprint is your brain’s natural antidepressant.

10/23/2025

Sometimes life feels tangled, and that’s okay.
At LD Counseling Services, we have immediate openings for both telehealth and in-person sessions.

We work with kids, teens, adults, and couples, and we believe everyone deserves a space to untangle what’s hard and find their way forward.

Reach out today… it’s okay to ask for help.
Ennis, Montana | Telehealth anywhere in Montana
(406) 570-9530 | ldcounselingservices.com