Millcreek Counseling Associates

11/26/2025

IT'S NOT "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" IT'S "WHAT HAPPENED TO ME & HOW DID IT SHAPE ME?"

What happened (the event)
-Big T or little t trauma
-One-time or ongoing
-Relational, developmental, or environmental
• breakup or divorce
• A global pandemic
• A traumatic birth or surgery
• Cancer
• A car crash
• childhood bullying
• An emotionally unavailable parent
• A physical or sexual assault
• Chronic microaggressions
• An unexpected loss

How it felt (your experience)
• "I don't belong."
• “No one came for me."
• "I had to freeze or shut down."
• "I was powerless and confused.”
• " have to stay strong for everyone else."
• "It's not ok to feel."
• “I’ll never be safe again"
• “It's my fault"
• "I'm not good enough"

How it shaped you (The Effects)
• anxiety
• shame and guilt
• emotional numbness
• perfectionism
• Nightmares, or intrusive thoughts
• Hypervigilance (always scanning for threat)
• "People pleasing" and overfunctoning
• Body tension, fatigue, or chronic pain
• Disconnection in relationships
• Chronic irritability
• Avoidance
• Difficulty trusting

11/25/2025

11/25/2025

11/25/2025

You want your 5-year-old to calm down, listen, and pull it together. But they’re acting exactly like a child with an undeveloped brain is supposed to. The real problem isn’t their emotions. It’s that yours are still running the show. You can’t expect them to regulate what you, a grown man, haven’t learned to control.

If this feels overwhelming, you’re not alone. The good news? Mastering self-control and emotional regulation gives you the tools to handle stress with patience and intention, even in the hardest moments. 🧠💪

When you develop these skills, you stop matching their chaos with your own and start guiding them through theirs. You meet their big feelings with calm. You show them what control looks like. You lead from maturity, not reaction. And everything shifts.

Because your child isn’t looking for perfection. They’re looking for a dad whose presence helps them settle, not spin out.

So how are you showing up right now? Keep expecting them to handle emotions you cannot, or become the steady father they can actually learn from?

If this resonates, the next step is to tap the link in my bio to book a call and learn how to master self-control and emotional regulation to create a happy marriage. Let’s build the kind of steadiness your family can trust. ⚡
– Jason

11/23/2025

11/23/2025

11/23/2025

You come home stressed and your wife immediately shifts into management mode. She’s checking your energy, adjusting her tone, making sure nothing sets you off. She’s not relaxing into the evening—she’s bracing for it.

When you can’t regulate your own emotions, she becomes responsible for regulating them for you. She’s managing your stress, your moods, your reactions. She can’t just be your wife—she has to be your emotional caretaker, constantly working to keep you stable.

A man who controls his emotions creates a home his wife can finally exhale in. A man who can’t? He turns his wife into a full-time emotional manager who never gets to rest because she’s too busy keeping him calm.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. The good news? Mastering self-control and regulating your nervous system gives you the tools to handle stress with patience and intention, even in the hardest moments. 🧠💪

When you develop these skills, you free her from the exhausting job of managing you. She can finally relax because she knows you’ve got yourself handled. Your home becomes a place where she can rest instead of constantly monitoring your emotional temperature.

Imagine your wife’s shoulders dropping the moment you walk in because she knows she doesn’t have to manage you. That’s what happens when you take responsibility for your own emotional state and give her back the partnership she deserves.

If this resonates, tap the link in my bio to book a call and learn how to master self-control and emotional regulation to create a happy marriage. Let’s build a marriage she can finally relax into. ⚡

- Jason