Insightful Counseling, LLC

08/28/2025

08/26/2025

Compassion for yourself and understanding we deserve kindness, forgiveness and compassion for ourselves as much or more than we give to others- that's where true healing begins🩷❤️💛🩵💙

08/25/2025

✨ Healthy Relationships Begin with Safety and Growth ✨

In therapy, we often talk about the difference between a relationship that supports growth and one that limits it. At the heart of a healthy partnership are mutual respect, accountability, and safe communication.

When these pieces are missing—when a partner relies on control, name-calling, or explosive anger—it creates an unsafe environment that stifles trust and connection. Without the ability to acknowledge mistakes and take responsibility, true growth in the relationship becomes nearly impossible.

💡 A healthy relationship does not mean the absence of conflict—it means that disagreements can be discussed calmly, respectfully, and with care for each other’s wellbeing.

At Insightful Counseling, we help individuals recognize these patterns, learn to trust their own voice, and build the skills necessary for relationships that foster healing rather than harm.

If you find yourself questioning what a “healthy relationship” really looks like, or if you are ready to move from fear and chaos into clarity and self-empowerment, know that support is available. You deserve relationships that allow you to feel safe, seen, and valued.

🌱 Healing begins with awareness, and growth happens when we choose differently for ourselves.

~Laurie

👉 If this message resonates with you—or you’re curious about how therapy can support you on this journey—reach out to schedule a session.

08/23/2025

And, as always, this blueprint started early.
We learned how to treat ourselves by how we were treated and by how we watched our adults and communities interact with the world. That’s the origin of the pattern.

But as adults, when we start seeing these patterns where others aren’t valuing or showing up for us and we continue to prioritize those relationships, we have to take a step back and get curious about the relationship we have with ourselves first.

Do you have a relationship to your own needs and feelings, and do you value those needs and feelings and prioritize holding time and space for them in your life?

Do you value your time and energy?

Do you feel connected to your own agency and power? Do you see the connection between your choices and how you feel in your daily life?

Do you understand how great you are? And how worthy and deserving of love you are?

If you’re struggling to get your needs met in relationship, turn to the one you have with you first.
Start small - start doing little things and keeping little promises to yourself that make you feel proud and connected. It can be as small as flossing your teeth or journaling.
Take care of yourself in ways that feel important to you.
Prioritize these little acts of actual self care.

Over time, this little trust you build with yourself will turn into bigger, deeper trust. When you show up for you, it will become a lot more normal to be in relationships with people who show up for you. And it’ll feel a lot less interesting to pursue the attention of people who can’t.

08/21/2025

In the same way that other peoples' behavior is about them...your responses to the world are about you.

So if you want to break the patterns of continued emotional turmoil, you have to start with learning how to check in with you.

Which is why it's important to take a step back regularly to check in take a look at how your "stuff" is impacting your current worldview.

To see where old pain is being projected onto new people & events.

To take inventory of the things and people that really give you energy, and the ones that aren't working for you anymore (and where you need to set some energetic or overt boundaries).

To see how the stories you're telling yourself about who you are and how the world works are impacting you.

To recognize when you're feeling more reactive than usual, and pause to address the deeper needs that aren't being met, or the places that need some rest and care.

And to be aware of when you're feeling calmer, more generous, and happier than usual and to be able to notice what that feels like and what contributes to that state for YOU, so that you can bring it into your life more readily.

For many, we've been taught to disconnect from our own bodies & intuition from a young age, and so we struggle with this kind of self-reflection and self-awareness.
But it's never too late to come back to yourself; to start tuning in to your own body so that you can begin making choices that help you feel more regulated, connected, motivated.
You can and if you DO- YOU WILL!

"Never settling- always becoming- forever staying true to you!" ~Laurie

08/18/2025

Understanding Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)

What it is:
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) describes the intense emotional pain, shame, or fear of rejection that occurs in response to perceived criticism, failure, or abandonment. The reaction can feel immediate and overwhelming, often out of proportion to the actual event. While not a formal diagnosis, RSD is widely recognized in mental health practice, especially in relation to ADHD and trauma.

Where it comes from and why it happens:
• Neurological roots: Brain regions involved in emotion regulation (like the amygdala and prefrontal cortex) can become hyper-reactive to social cues, making even subtle criticism feel like a threat.
• Trauma: Early experiences of neglect, abuse, or invalidation sensitize the nervous system to anticipate rejection. This creates a lasting, heightened alertness to disapproval.
• ADHD and neurodivergence: Research shows that 70–99% of individuals with ADHD report significant symptoms of RSD. The same neurological differences that affect attention also intensify emotional reactivity.
• Trauma prevalence: Among trauma survivors and those with CPTSD, rejection sensitivity is extremely common—often reported at nearly double the rate of the general population. This is because repeated interpersonal wounds prime the brain and body to expect rejection.

Coping skills and supports:
• Pause and ground (3-3-3 method): Name three things you can see, three things you can hear, and three things you can feel in your body. This helps bring awareness back to the present before reacting.
• Reality-check thoughts: Ask yourself: Am I interpreting or assuming rejection, or do I have evidence? What else might be true?
• Self-compassion: Remind yourself that sensitivity to rejection is a nervous system response, not a personal weakness.
• Communicate needs: Share your triggers with trusted people who can clarify intent and offer reassurance.
• Therapeutic strategies: Approaches like CBT, DBT, EMDR, and polyvagal-informed tools can help retrain the brain and calm the nervous system.
• Boundaries & structure: Reduce exposure to highly critical environments and build supportive, validating spaces.

Key reminders:
Experiencing RSD does not mean you are broken or “too sensitive.” It reflects how your brain and body learned to protect you from pain. With awareness, compassion, and effective tools, you can retrain these responses, strengthen resilience, and cultivate healthier self-trust and relationships.

~Laurie Cook, LCSW

08/17/2025

We talk about generational wealth as money, property, or opportunity passed down — but the greatest inheritance we can give our children is not in our bank accounts, it’s in our nervous systems.

A child who grows up with parents who can pause before reacting, who can own their feelings instead of projecting them, who can meet conflict without breaking connection — that child carries a different kind of wealth.

They inherit stability. They inherit trust. They inherit the model of what it looks like to be human without losing humanity.

Because when parents regulate themselves, children don’t have to carry the weight of emotions that were never theirs to hold. And when parents grow in self-awareness, children don’t have to untangle the knots of old patterns just to find their own voice.

THAT is next generation wealth: passing down the freedom to live unburdened by wounds that weren’t theirs, and the strength to face life with both the courage and compassion that they deserve. ❤️

08/12/2025

You weren’t born feeling unworthy.
Life taught you to feel that way.

It started when love seemed far away unless you worked for it.
When you had to give more than you had.
When you had to hide your pain to keep the peace.

You became skilled at changing yourself to fit what others needed.
You learned to watch for danger even in safe places.
You forgot that you were already enough.

Now when life feels calm, your mind still searches for the problem.
You wonder if you spoke wrong.
You question if you did enough.
You wait for the moment things fall apart.

You are not too much for wanting love that stays.
You are not unworthy because someone failed to see your value.
You are enough right now.
You always have been.