11/20/2025
CPTSD-is a trauma-related condition that develops after long-term, repeated, and inescapable traumatic experiences, especially those that occur through childhood or within close relationships.
So many who carry complex trauma don’t even know they’re carrying it.
I know, it sounds impossible but sometimes wounds weave themselves into the very air we breathe.
CPTSD grows in places we couldn’t leave, inside relationships we were tied to by love, or need, or simple survival.
It doesn’t announce itself with a clear beginning or end. It threads itself through the days and the years until it feels less like harm and more like “just life.”
So we grow up calling the hurtful things “normal.” We learn to make peace with what should never have been ours to bear. And then, later…maybe much later…someone looks at our story and whispers the word “trauma.” And everything inside us wants to say, “No… it wasn’t like that. Well, it didn’t feel like that.”
Because, usually, it just felt like any other Tuesday.
Our minds, our bodies, gracious guardians that they are, gave us dissociation, and distance, and all sorts of adaptive protections so we could keep going. But even the strongest defenses grow tired. Many years after we’ve walked out of the places that hurt us, the symptoms rise like a tide we never saw coming. What was adaptive, is now maladaptive. What worked, now causes more problems.
The truth is:
complex trauma rarely looks obvious.
Not to the world.
Not to the survivor.
Especially not to the survivor.
We think trauma announces itself with dramatic noise. Sometimes it does, but more often, it hides in the shame filled parts of us and gets masked by competence, humor, strength, or the habit of never making a fuss.
So maybe what we need is more compassion, more gentleness toward the stories we don’t see.
More grace for the people who learned to survive by pretending they didn’t hurt.
Maybe part of your own healing is to help the world slow down and see a little deeper. To tell the truth about what trauma can look like. To make space for every survivor…
Even the ones who don’t yet have the words for what they lived through.
❤️🩹