The Healing Cottage

07/31/2025

🧵 CONTEMPLATIVE CRAFTERS CLUB (for women)
A quiet, soul-nourishing space to slow down, stitch, paint, knit, or collage—with guided reflection and optional prompts for emotional growth and grounding.
✨ No crafting skills required
🗓️ August 24th

If you're longing for deeper connection

Let’s grow together. 🌱

07/28/2025

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nearly 1 in 4 children now live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home. And even in intact families, emotional disconnection is on the rise.

We are living in a time where distractions are abundant, and connection is rare, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Seeking support, education, and community isn’t a sign of failure...it’s a sign of wisdom and strength.

- A father’s eyes brimmed with tears. A man who fiercely loves his children yet couldn't understand why they didn’t respect him. He was present...an incredible provider and protector...but despite all of that, the connection with his kid's lacked depth.

The love was there. That much was clear. But the relationships were strained, falling apart really, and it was breaking his heart.

He didn’t feel respected.
They didn’t feel important.

At home, the atmosphere had grown tense. Everyone retreated to their devices, bickering had become the norm, and when it came time for Dad to step in and correct behavior, he was met with eye rolls, resistance, and contempt.

The power struggle had begun.

Frustration overwhelmed him. His attempts to lead were met with opposition, and in moments of feeling disrespected, his own emotions took control. The cycle was becoming volatile, with no one really winning...only hurting.

So much confusion and pain.

He believed that being their dad automatically meant they should respect him.

Respect isn’t automatically given because of a title. It’s built through consistent connection, safe communication, and a parent’s willingness to lead with empathy and integrity.

Respect cannot be demanded; it must be cultivated.

Here’s the truth: without genuine connection, correction feels like rejection.

When children hear from us in moments of discipline more than anything else, they begin to believe:
"I’m only noticed when I’m in trouble."
That mindset creates a desperate pursuit of attention, often through negative behavior, because it’s the only way they know how to get it.

Connection is not a luxury.
It’s a necessity.

A secure, emotionally attuned bond with your children is the foundation for healthy discipline, mutual respect, and lifelong relationship.

However, It’s never too late to course-correct, to change patterns, and to learn how to truly connect with your children, beyond the surface.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about intentional presence...and healing begins with connection.

Unfortunately, this story is becoming more and more common. Today’s parents are stretched thin by economic pressure, the constant presence of screens, and a lack of access to clear, effective guidance on emotional connection and communication within families.

If you're struggling to connect with your children, you are not alone. Let's create your path forward.

From Amanda
Reach out or request an appointment here.
https://walkingfreefoundation.org/appointments/



.

07/27/2025

🌸 Now Enrolling! 🌸
Limited spots available for our upcoming girls’ class!

✨ Spoken & Set Apart:
A Poetry Journey to Purity, Confidence & Wholeness ✨

This 6-week class is designed for girls ages 12–16 and offers a safe, uplifting space to explore emotional health, purity, and confidence through poetry, Scripture, and connection.

🗓 Starts August 25, 2025
🕡 Mondays | 6:30–7:30 PM
📍 The Healing Cottage | 119 N Belair Rd, Evans, GA

💜 Tuition: $250
(Family discounts available)
📦 All materials included
🌟 Presentation for family:
October 6th

This is more than a class—it's a soul-nourishing experience where young hearts will be encouraged, inspired, and reminded of their worth in Christ. 💖

📲 To register or learn more, call/text Amanda (706) 564-7827

Let’s raise girls who know they are chosen, spoken over, and set apart. 🌷

07/25/2025

Sometimes we cry out for the heavens to open and we seek continual spiritual
deliverance from many sources but what if you’re not demonically oppressed , what if you’re just carrying what your soul was never meant to hold alone?

We gather at the altar, week after week, hoping for a pouring out but sometimes the healing comes not with oil on the forehead, but with a tear-streaked face in the safety of a quiet room, across from a caring counselor who helps you heal your heart, piece by piece.

Yes, there is a time for deliverance.
Yes, there are demons that flee and chains that break and prayers that shake the floorboards.
However, there is also trauma that lingers, childhoods that still echo in adult souls, grief that clings like heavy fog, and nervous systems that don’t know how to rest. There is pain in the body, not just the spirit.

Too often, we stay stuck in spiritual striving, doing all the right things while never sitting still long enough to ask,
"What happened to me?"
"What needs tending?"

Your pastor is precious, but he is not your therapist.
Your prayer warrior is fierce, but she is not your counselor.
Your prophet may see things, but they cannot fix what your nervous system has buried.

There is no shame in needing help.
No shame in calling a counselor.

There is no shame in saying, “I need more than words prayed, I need a hand to hold as I journey back to the place where I first forgot I was beloved. I need someone to help me find the way back to who I was before the breaking.”

Jesus never said healing would only come from pulpits and platforms.
He didn’t only preach from mountaintops
He stooped low in the dust where pain had fallen.
He reached out, unflinching, to touch the untouchable.
He didn’t avoid the ones who were unwell—He made a home with them.

He touched the l***r before the skin was clean.
He wept beside graves before the resurrection came.
He let the bleeding woman interrupt His walk.
He knelt beside the broken and didn’t rush their stories.
He didn't just cast out demons—He restored dignity.

So no, healing doesn’t only come through sermons, and deliverance, sometimes it comes through sacred silence, through tears and pain finally named, through hands that help you hold what once shattered you.

Body, soul, spirit- all need healing.
And He’s never shamed a single one who said, “I need help."

So go ahead and please keep your faith and prayers but also keep your appointments.
Keep your journals.
Keep that therapist’s number.
And know this:

Sometimes the miracle isn’t in the shout or the oil or the laying on of hands, it’s in the quiet, unseen work of the soul in healing in holistic counseling .

07/16/2025

The comments on this post are gut wrenching sad.

So many women are told that their bodies are responsible for managing their husband’s emotions, impulses, and even his sin.

The sad truth is, I’ve heard this lie taught more in churches than anywhere else.

Because of this kind of distorted teaching, many women carry invisible burdens and stay far longer than they should in marriages with men who are emotionally or spiritually incapable of truly loving them without seeking help.

They hold on, pouring themselves out, believing that if they just give more…more patience, more s*x, more grace…it will finally be enough to make the relationship whole… but instead of real intimacy, they’re met with distance, dysfunction, and deep loneliness.

They live in marriages that look “Christian” on the outside but are crumbling under the weight of a husband’s inability (or unwillingness) to love his wife as Christ loves the church, despite his “best efforts” or religious appearance.

Then, when betrayal hits…when the very thing she feared actually happens, she’s left gasping for air, devastated that even her absolute all wasn’t enough. The rug is pulled out from under her, and she’s left tending to wounds that go far deeper than people can see.

Maybe you heard it from a pastor, a book, or a mentor. Maybe it was never said outright, but it was always implied.
I am sure it was well intended, but it was ignorant. It was a lie.

“If you don’t meet his needs, someone else will.”
“Men are visual—it’s just how they are.”
“S*x is how he feels loved, it’s your duty to give it no matter what.”
“Do it even when you don’t want to.”
“Do it even when he’s neglecting you.”

These messages are not just outdated… they’re damaging. They distort intimacy, create shame, and make women feel more like managers of behavior than beloved partners in a sacred union.

If you’ve been wounded by this kind of message, please hear this:
You are not responsible for someone else’s desires or self-control.

Your body is not a tool to fix emotional or spiritual brokenness in someone else. A man who chooses not to be faithful is the result of spiritual and emotional sickness…& nothing else.

You deserve real intimacy…not obligation, fear, or guilt.

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. So many women are bravely unpacking these harmful beliefs and finding healing on the other side.
You don’t have to carry this burden anymore. Reach out. Counseling/Coaching can help you sort through the lies, rebuild your sense of worth, and move toward healthier, more whole relationships.

You were never meant to be someone else’s regulation system. You were meant to be loved, cherished, and known.

Our Betrayal Trauma Group starts back mid August & I have available sessions.

Let’s unpack your pain & get you on a path to healing & confidence.
You’re worth it & you deserve it.

I’m here if you want to talk. 💛
Amanda

Call/Text to schedule: (706) 564-7827




https://www.facebook.com/share/16s8ThjKtz/?mibextid=wwXIfr

07/15/2025

“Digital Dementia!”

Let’s talk about the thing in your hand right now. 🤳

It turns out social media triggers the same dopamine reward centers in your brain as addictive substances do- neurons lighting up every time you get a “like” or scroll through a feed of new content . That rush feels good in the moment, but it also rewires your nervous system.

Even in otherwise healthy brains, excessive screen time has been tied to anxiety, irritability, impaired memory, poor sleep, and shorter attention spans.

Late-night scrolling disrupts your circadian rhythm—blue light suppresses melatonin, delaying sleep and reducing its quality.

In people already struggling—whether it’s depression, burnout, anxiety, or emotional fatigue—that brain rewiring only deepens the wounds.
One large adolescent study found 45% of otherwise healthy teens reporting clinical-level anxiety linked to screen behaviors like passive social media scrolling . And JAMA Pediatrics data shows teens spending more than three hours a day on social media are twice as likely to experience anxiety and depressive symptoms

Another sobering finding: adults with high daily screen time—of TV or phone—tend to show cortical thinning (the brain’s outer layer tied to critical thinking), lower gray matter volume, and slower cognitive processing.

Some call it a kind of “digital dementia.”

Scrolling may feel like connection, but it often reduces our emotional resilience and flattens our depth. Research shows that face-to-face social time builds real neural connectedness, while passive online scrolling can lead to neuroplastic atrophy—a weakening of those real-world social and cognitive pathways

So what’s the antidote? A screen‑time detox isn’t just trendy self-care—it’s a radical act of reclaiming your nervous system:

Move emotionally triggering apps off your home screen

Set intentional boundaries—no tech an hour before bed; use screen timers or “Do Not Disturb” modes

Swap scroll time for real-world connection, mindful movement, time in nature (even a short walk boosts dopamine naturally)

Try a full-fledged detox—screen‑free nights, phone‑free weekends, “digital sabbath” days

Because the goal isn’t giving something up—it’s giving yourself back: clarity, presence, emotional depth, a calmer nervous system.

Unplug to remember who you are again.

Your brain—and your life and your family —will thank you.

https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/digital-dementia

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11499077/

https://www.neurocenternj.com/blog/digital-dementia-how-screens-and-digital-devices-impact-memory/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-change/201507/digital-dementia

07/13/2025

I’ve noticed something over the years—when my space is cluttered, my mind is too.
And it’s not just a preference for clean counters or cozy corners. It’s science.

Researchers at UCLA found that women who described their homes as “cluttered” had significantly higher levels of cortisol—the stress hormone—throughout the day. Another study from Current Psychology found that clutter is directly linked to increased anxiety, depression, and even procrastination.

Why? Because clutter is a constant, silent “to-do” list. It overstimulates your brain, affects your ability to focus, and sends the message that things are out of control.

One study from Princeton even showed that visual clutter actually competes for space in your brain’s attention system, making it harder to concentrate or process information. That’s why even small messes can feel mentally heavy.

And when your bedroom is chaotic? Sleep suffers. The National Sleep Foundation reports that people who keep a tidy room sleep better. No surprise—your body doesn’t relax well in a space that feels unsettled.

It’s not just a matter of being “messy.” It’s a reflection of what’s going on underneath.

Trauma doesn’t just live in your memories. It lives in your nervous system.
And sometimes it spills out into your home—in piles of laundry, unopened mail, and clutter you just don’t have the energy to deal with.

Unresolved trauma can rob you of executive functioning, motivation, and the sense of safety that helps you organize, clean, or even care.
Clutter becomes the physical evidence of a mind trying to survive.

So no, it’s not about having a Pinterest-worthy house.
It’s about creating a space that feels safe to your nervous system.
A space that gently whispers:
You’re okay. You’re supported. You can exhale now.

Start small if you need to:
🕯️ Clear one surface- a floor, a counter
Then tomorrow do it again
🛏️ Make your bed daily
⏰ Take 15mins just to start to work through the clutter
🪴 Open a window - Breathe
You need a reset.

Peace starts right where you are.

If you need help- we are here for you !

07/12/2025

☀️Summer Healing Groups Are Here!

🧵 CONTEMPLATIVE CRAFTERS CLUB
A quiet, soul-nourishing space to slow down, stitch, paint, knit, and more —with guided reflection and emotional growth and grounding.
✨ No crafting skills required
🗓️ Meets again July 29th

If you're longing for deeper connection this group might be the invitation you've been waiting for.

📩 Message us to register or learn more.
Let’s grow together. 🌱

Emma Jane Haffey will be leading the group. You can reach out to her at . (913) 547-0863

06/30/2025

✨ EMDR: The Healing Modality Celebrities (and My Clients) Are Raving About ✨

Maybe You’ve seen the videos making their rounds on social media - EMDR is transforming lives.

🎬 Sandra Bullock shared how EMDR helped her heal after a home invasion:

“I discovered something called EMDR, which was the most healing … I was so scared to do it.”

🎤 Miley Cyrus put it simply:
“Love it. Saved my life.”

And in my office at The Healing Cottage, I’ve seen the same story unfold—over and over again.

Here’s what one client recently shared in a Google review:

“When I started therapy here I was so traumatized by a ‘breakup’ that I couldn’t even function in life. I could barely leave the house without feeling anxious or on edge... Within 2 sessions of EMDR therapy, I was feeling more like myself again. And after about 6 sessions, my traumatic experience is nothing more than a distant memory.”
“Melony has truly saved my life because my life was not sustainable before coming here.”

💬 That kind of transformation isn’t rare with EMDR—it’s the work I’m honored to be part of daily.

EMDR helps the brain reprocess stuck memories and emotional wounds so they stop hijacking your body and mind. It’s not about talking your way out of trauma—it’s about healing it at the root.

🏡 At The Healing Cottage, we offer EMDR and intensives, with faith-integrated care that honors both the science of the brain and the healing of the soul.

Curious if it could help you?
Reach out. Healing is possible.

06/29/2025

☀️Summer Healing Groups Are Here!
We’re opening up safe, supportive spaces this summer for connection, creativity, and healing.

🧵 CONTEMPLATIVE CRAFTERS CLUB
A quiet, soul-nourishing space to slow down, stitch, paint, knit, and more —with guided reflection and emotional growth and grounding.
✨ No crafting skills required
🗓️ Meets again July 11th

If you're longing for deeper connection this group might be the invitation you've been waiting for.

📩 Message us to register or learn more.
Let’s grow together. 🌱

Emma Jane Haffey will be leading the group. You can reach out to her at . (913) 547-0863

06/20/2025

“Does your wife feel loved, cherished, and valued outside the bedroom? Are you only nice when you get s*x, and do you act disappointed and withhold affection if you don’t?

Is the only time you touch her or kiss her when you want to have s*x? Do you grope her when she’s doing the dishes or other things, rather than show her affection in a way that she’d prefer that would honor her? Almost 20% of our respondents say their primary motivation for having s*x is that their husbands treat them badly if they don’t have s*x. Over time, that wears on a woman.”

It wears on a marriage.

https://substack.com/inbox/post/166319329?triedRedirect=true *x *xRescue

Because there's usually a reason!

06/19/2025

🚨 Trauma
Sometimes it’s not just what happened to you…
It’s what didn’t. 🧠💔

The hug that never came.
The cry that went unanswered.
The comfort that never showed up. ❤️‍🩹

Crying is a baby’s first language—how they say, “I need help,” “I’m scared,” or “I just need you near.” But when those cries are met with silence, the consequences go far beyond sadness.

When babies are repeatedly left to cry without comfort, their tiny bodies flood with stress hormones like cortisol. This isn’t just emotional—it’s biological. Chronic stress in infancy becomes “biologically embedded,” meaning it shapes how the brain, immune system, and nervous system grow.

🧬 Brain scans of children who experienced emotional neglect show:
• Shrinking in key areas like the frontal cortex (which helps with emotion regulation and decision-making)
• Enlarged amygdalae, the brain’s fear center that increases anxiety and fear.
• Reduced white matter, which affects learning and memory

Over time, this neglect can lead to:
• Heightened anxiety and emotional reactivity
• Poor stress management
• Difficulty forming healthy attachments
• Increased inflammation and disrupted hormone levels
• Higher risks of chronic health issues like depression, metabolic disease, and even heart conditions

🧒🏽Children don’t just “get over” being ignored.
They adapt to survive.
But those adaptations—emotional distancing, fear of closeness, aggression, distractibility—often show up in classrooms, relationships, and even doctor’s offices. Many times the trauma of neglect is pathologized and medicated instead of treated and healed.

👉 This isn’t about blaming parents. It’s about understanding the power of responsive caregiving in the earliest days of life—and why what didn’t happen still matters.

A baby who is seen, soothed, and safe learns to trust.
And from trust, everything else can grow. 🌱

📚 Research References:
PMCID: PMC3887079
PMCID: PMC2817950
PMCID: PMC3690164
PMCID: PMC3422632
PMCID: PMC4635964
PMCID: PMC4074672