02/13/2026
Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Many spas will be busy with couples massage services.
As a massage therapist, I have a public plea when it comes to couples massages...
Please keep your
"๐ ๐๐ค๐ฃ'๐ฉ ๐ก๐๐ ๐ ๐ข๐๐จ๐จ๐๐๐๐จ"
"๐ ๐๐ค๐ฃ'๐ฉ ๐ง๐๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ ๐ก๐๐ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค๐ช๐๐๐๐"
"๐'๐ข ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ๐"
"๐๐๐ ๐๐ง๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ง๐"
as well as your jealous / insecure
partners at home!
It seems like the majority of couples massages that I do typically involves a wife (or girlfriend, side chick, etc) who is grinning from ear to ear, beaming with excitement about going to the spa for a couples massage while her partner (typically a husband, boyfriend) is visibly annoyed. It is obvious that he has been dragged there against his will.
He walks in moody, arms crossed, and heavily sighs. Before the massage starts the massage therapist asks him questions regarding health and areas of pain or tension. He just shrugs, rolls his eyes and gives vague responses such as:
"๐๐ค ๐ฅ๐ง๐ค๐๐ก๐๐ข๐จ, ๐'๐ข ๐๐๐ฃ๐."
"๐ ๐๐ช๐๐จ๐จ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ช๐ง๐ฉ๐จ. ๐๐ค๐ช ๐๐๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐ค๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐ ."
Meanwhile the wife, girlfriend, etc shares a grocery list worth of issues and preferences to her massage therapist. During the massage she is relaxed and is enjoying the session, he lies on the table stiff as a board. He can't wait until this is all over.
I want you to know something... comfort and consent are major components of massage therapy. For me, I find it uncomfortable and awkward to massage someone who does not want to be touched. Maybe their reluctance could have been from a past trauma. When someone doesnโt want to be touched, their nervous system stays on alert causing the muscles to contract and stay tense. If the nervous system does not feel safe, the body can't relax.
If you drag in a reluctant partner, you will likely spend your entire massage wondering and even looking over at them to see if they are enjoying it. You know what that means? That means you are NOT relaxing.
If your partner doesnโt like massage or spas, thatโs okay. Book a solo spa day for yourself or bring a friend. You can also look for local "couples massage classes" where you can be taught how to massage your partner.
On the subject of jealousy and insecurity, it's even more awkward when someone has a partner who is insecure. Ironically, sometimes it's the insecure partner who booked the couples massage. They will come into the spa with a bad attitude and glare at their partner's massage therapist. They will even spend the majority of massage looking at their partner and will shoot eye daggers at the massage therapist watching their every move.
On behalf of all massage therapists, we don't want your partner. We're just trying to do a job. If you need to, you can have the massage done in separate rooms.
Another alternative: check to see if there are local couples massage classes or read books, watch video tutorials on the subject.
Massage should feel like a gift not a hostage situation, a chore, or a surveillance operation. It works best when people choose to relax.
Permanently Closed ๐๐ฝ
