03/11/2025
Why your “BAD RIDE” always feels worse than it looks...
"In your personal and professional experience, do mistakes and 'bad rides' usually feel worse to the rider than they look to spectators?" asked Ally Layos, a writer from Diagonals Magazine.
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They sure do - is how I replied - after all, who is paying the most attention to what just happened? The rider herself! And to whom does it matter the most? The rider…. Maybe the judge saw it, but they make a mark on their card and continue judging. They don’t think about it again. The trainer will care, of course, but isn’t embarrassed, so it doesn’t haunt them. Maybe he or she is frustrated or disappointed or simply reminded of what still needs work, but most don’t see it as a personal reflection of their training, and certainly not of their riding.
So, that leaves the rider, who imagines that their bad ride or mistake is what everyone thinks of when they see them after the class. And maybe others are reminded of what happened, but—while the rider is thinking, Omg they must think I’m the worst rider, or, Omg they’re thinking I shouldn’t be in this division, their friends or barn mates or family members could very well be thinking, That was a tough ride, or, You rode through it well, or Yeah, that happens with horses…..
I think that we, as riders, need to recognize that at any given moment we are truly trying our best. Most riders in this very difficult and very consuming sport take their training and showing very seriously. And so when things don’t go as planned, well, can we give ourselves the margin to be less than perfect, or to let our horses be less than perfect….?
I believe that the best riders are able to do that, and move on quickly from bad rides and mistakes because they don’t make much meaning of them, such as, Making such a mistake means I’m not a good rider …
Instead, they understand it as part of the process of refining one’s skills or developing one’s horse, and respond to their mistakes not by belittling themselves but rather by absorbing whatever "information" there is in those mistakes that can guide their training going forward.
The truth is that all riders who continue to challenge themselves and their horses make mistakes and have bad rides— the untruth is that others who witnessed them really give it the time of day.