Discovering Derek- Love, Autism & Potatoes

07/12/2025

04/13/2025

You may have seen the heartbreaking video of the autistic teenager shot by police in Idaho. I won’t share it here, it’s horrific.

I am not a police officer, but I worked along side police for years in my role as a probation officer and I know that officers have to make quick decisions in very precarious situations and that the video may not tell the entire story. What we do know from the video is that the 911 caller assumed the behavior they were seeing in their neighbor’s yard was of a “very drunk” person wielding a knife. What they were seeing was Victor, a 17 year old with autism and cerebral palsy, in the throes of a meltdown.

The officers knew Victor had a knife and approached with weapons drawn. There was a fence between Victor and the officers. There were two people in the yard behind Victor, one yelling, “He is special”. The officers instructed Victor to drop the knife and when he didn’t, while still on the other side of the fence, the officers shot him 9 times. At no point, in what we can see in the video, do the officers back up and try and de-escalate the situation.

I am not anti-police, I am pro education…for everyone. I don’t think any of those officers went to work that morning planning to shoot a 17 year old autistic teenager. I don’t think the neighbor who called 911 in an attempt to help the family even considered how their call for help would have tragic results and I don’t think Victor, who was clearly struggling and picked up a knife, had any idea how that choice would forever alter the course of his life, but the end result is still the same.

Education and awareness is how we can prevent more tragedies like this. Talking to your local police, introducing your autistic loved one to them and letting them know how they may respond in a crisis, how to help them when they are overwhelmed, ways to connect with them and support them. Let your neighbors know if they need to call 911 for any reason that they share your loved one’s autism diagnosis with the dispatcher so officers are more informed on who they are interacting with and try and educate your autistic loved one on what they should do and not do if ever approached by police.

This week, I conducted 7 trainings in 76 hours for law enforcement, first responders and court personnel. My vocal cords were shot, my brain was spent, but my heart was filled with more fire than ever.

I beg you, if you are autistic or neurodivergent or you have an autistic loved one that you think will probably never have an interaction with police, go introduce yourself/them anyway. It’s not an exaggeration to say that meeting truly may be a matter of life or death.

04/02/2025

12/25/2023

Merry Christmas & Happy holidays friends!

11/23/2023

It's the holiday season!! 🦃🎉🎄🤸‍♂️🤸‍♀️
Before you get distracted talking to aunt Linda about her stuffing recipe, make sure you appoint someone else to watch your potential .

Our kiddos often wander when they are out of their usual environment (Aunt Linda's house for Thanksgiving dinner), or when their usual environment is not usual (company is over, so the door is unlocked and everyone is gathered in the dining room).

If your child has a gps tracking device, make sure it is charged.

Make sure you have designated "watchers" during family get togethers. All adults in the family can pitch in to take turns having short "watch duty" increments so the parents get time to socialize with the other adults too, and everyone is safe and having a good time.

Lock the doors. Even if it's not your house, explain the risks, and ask if you can take the simple extra precaution to keep your child safe.

****If you see any child by themself, stop them and ask if they are ok. If you're not sure they are where they should be, call the police. It only takes a second to ask.

And If they can't answer you, you might have just saved their life.

We wish you all safe and happy holidays!

11/23/2023

Every recipe you need to have a gluten free Thanksgiving! 🦃

A blog about family, parenting, special needs, reviews, and more

07/14/2023

Appreciating the little things.

05/27/2023

There's two special boys always watching and they see which foot I lead with... I haven't told them, I'm faking it until I make it. 💁🏼‍♀️

04/02/2023

Autism Awareness Day!
We can show awareness and acceptance by being compassionate, supportive, considerate, respectful, thoughtful, patient and loving to autistic people (and all people) we encounter in our lives, today and everyday.

03/26/2023

Marky had a rough start in life. Before he was even born, he struggled. It was the day of my due date, but I was not in labor, actually, I had felt nothing at all. No kicks. No hiccups. I called the doctor because this worried me, and they wanted me to come in right away. The cord was wrapped around his tiny neck and I was going to be induced to deliver in the morning. Long story short, it was a nightmare. Nothing went right, and my baby suffered from loss of oxygen to his brain.
His diagnosis was Cerebral Palsy.
The doctor showed me on the MRI where his brain damage was, and told me all of the limitations he would have in his life. He would always be on oxygen, never walk, never talk, etc...
I don't know why, I guess I was just young and didn't know any better, but I wasn't devastated by the doctors diagnosis. Maybe I was in shock or denial. I did the only thing I knew to do as a very young mom, I loved him and played with him and tried to get him to do new things.
Marky used to love when I would tell him this story. I would tell him "the doctor said you couldn't roll over, but you proved him wrong!", "the doctor said you would never walk, you proved him wrong again!!"
And so then on, everytime he did something I would tell him how amazing he was (And I still tell him this story sometimes).
Marky rolled over, very late, but he still rolled. Marky walked at 23 months.
He was off oxygen at 3 years old. He had trouble with speech but was ready for kindergarten.

Marky evevtually succeeded at everything he tried. The doctors were amazed by his determination and progress.
Then at age 8, after his brother was diagnosed with severe Autism (then aka classic autism, nonverbal). The new education and awareness of ASD led to Marky receiving the diagnosis of Asperger's. This additional diagnosis finally relieved the frustration and confusion about many challenging experiences that did not have a medical or developmental explanation.

Some people think that if a person has a disability they are not smart, talented or as capable as others. Marky proves that people with a disability (or two) are smart, talented, and ABLE!!!!

He has already overcame barriers that most people will never face, and has accomplished more than any doctor predicted was ever possible.

🤓 Keep proving them wrong buddy! 💚

03/25/2023

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