Center For Relationship and Sexual Wellness

10/09/2025

10/06/2025

This is great for folks who are rescuers!

10/06/2025

Belonging has long been at the heart of my work. Our identities are intertwined with our experiences of belonging.

Have you noticed how different parts of yourself become activated with different people and places?

I've been reading your comments on my most recent post about how we build and rebuild our village, a theme I look forward to exploring further with you this season.

10/02/2025

A healthy relationship is not all fairytales and smooth sailing.

They are an endless dance of harmony, disharmony, and repair.

Unfortunately, our culture simply does not prepare us for how dark and painful those moments of disharmony can be.

Every long-term couple hits moments when you look across the room and think, “I can’t stand this person.”

It’s what I call normal marital hatred.

Maybe they overlook the moment when you need them by your side. Maybe they withdraw when you’re upset with them. Or maybe it’s their damn dishes piled up in the sink!

The particulars of your partner’s imperfections can drive you mad and often stir up old wounds.

And yet, that’s not the end of intimacy. It’s the beginning.

Intimacy is built not in the absence of imperfection, but in how we handle the collision of your flaws with mine.

Do we fight to prove who’s right?

Do we collapse into despair that we “chose wrong”?

Or do we learn the art of repair – the courage to listen, take accountability, and remember love?

If you want lasting intimacy, you don’t need to find the “perfect partner.” You just need to learn how to work with the imperfectly perfect one you’ve got.

10/02/2025

Here are some Do’s and Don’ts from my podcast with Brené Brown on apologies and why they matter.

09/30/2025

So many couples live stewing in resentment over wants that were never spoken out loud.

You wanted support.

You wanted affection.

You wanted your partner to step up in some way.

But instead of asking directly, you hoped they’d just *know*.

Unspoken requests almost always turn into unspoken resentments.

And that resentment leaks out of you sideways, destroying passion, generosity, and closeness.

Instead, stop waiting for them to guess or punishing them for not knowing, and learn to speak relationally:

“I’m feeling really overwhelmed. Could you take this off my plate, honey?”

“I’m feeling lonely. I’d love for you to sit with me tonight and cuddle.”

“I miss you. Can we go for a walk tonight?”

The only way to get more of what you want and give your partner a fair chance to show up for you is to *ask*.

09/25/2025

Don’t let shame stop you from showing up, speaking out, telling the truth and being kind to yourself and others

09/24/2025

Spouses, especially those on the brink of divorce, tend to be very other-focused, while therapy can only work when someone owns their role in why the marriage got to the point of possible divorce. Discernment Counseling builds in a structure that inherently holds personal accountability from both partners for the state of the marriage and works with both spouses to better see their contributions.

www.discernmentcounseling.com/